Thursday, June 30, 2011

News from Nepal

Jhallu Baba gets another portfolio.... no, he's not getting inspired by attending all them art exhibitions kya... he will now handle them additional portfolio of Deputy Prime-Monster and Foreign Minister and Ministry of Commerce and Supply because our brother, Upey aka Upendra Yadav (the foreign tourist!) is out of town rey.

Jhallu is everywhere.. he is in Kaski to hoist them green flag to declare it 'no shitting outside anymore' district! Then he's back in Kathmandu to have some tea while he gets to watch some guy displaying them nakkali bhoto and then he attends some paddy ceremony and plants the seed weed!

What's next? How about running them Kathmandu Marathon in September! But of course... we never know when he has to move out from Baluwatar .... and it's cool to be a neta.... you get a free gas-guzzling brand new SUV when you are done ... doing nothing!

I think Upey dai should pitch a TV show to them cable channels in Amrika.. how about .. 'Around the World in 60days' .. and we can watch Upey trying some shark-fin soup or snails! He is now in Lithuania to participate in some meeting seating... and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs can save few Rupees if they give him a T-shirt passport kya! Yes, just give Upey a t-shirt with our government ko logo and all them countries can just stamp their stuff on his looga!

Nepal beats them Timoris 2-1.... them folks are ranked like 200th and they don't even have them league seague... they just gather a bunch of folks and ask them to play football and we still can't beat them well. Who was that clown who got two yellow cards and was sent off? C'mon.. playing the East Timorians is like them football league-wallahs playing a high school team kya!

What did you do to get two yellow cards against them minnows? Pulled your opponent's ears or gave him a wedgie .. I don't know! I am happy that we won but I hope we don't get thrashed by them Jordanians!

SP Ramesh Kharel is now in Parsa... so I hope them criminals in Birgunj will now shit their pants hola ni. I feel sorry for Ramesh dai... in a country of old grumpy men and young thieves ... we still have a few honest folks... if we had like 20-30 of them Ramesh dai clones... then all them goondas will have to take them Korean exams and hope to get a job in Korea hola ni!

And our journalists are using their creativity more than ever.... the Kathmandu chapter handed a lamp to the CDO to make it easier for the sarkari hakims to search for that Biratnagar ko Don rey!

Did you hear about this guy who used to be our Ambassador to Bangladesh few days ago.. well, he got called back because..... he wanted to pay them taxes rey! Lau ja.... what was he thinking.. must have had too much of them fish curry in Dhaka hola ni.

Your Excellency, you represent a country where them tax evaders rule kya... so trying to pay taxes on your bideshi bhatta is like trying to walk around some nudist beach fully dressed ... you will look like a fool.. hehe! Me and my analogies.. they suck don't they?

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