Saturday, April 26, 2014

Ganesh Thapa Must Go!

Ganesh Thapa has been  heading the All Nepal Football Association (ANFA) since 1994 and it's about time, he stepped down and let others lead ANFA to greater heights. 

No man or woman should be allowed to lead any public organization for more than a decade. If you can't bring any changes in ten years then it would be foolish for all of us to expect the moron to do better again.

Let's learn a thing or two from Communist China. The dumpling gang change their leadership every decade. The old ones retire and spend their days swimming, drinking tea and practicing calligraphy. 

But that's not the case across the border where our Desi Dosa wallahs cling on to power until their last breath.  I think our netas and public officials follow the 'Desi' formula and work together to make our lives miserable.

A few  of our 'A' Division football clubs have boycotted the ANFA meetings because Thapa and his crew have been using the ANFA funds to enrich themselves while doling out peanuts to the clubs. 

Manang Marshyangdi Club (MMC) won the league last year and they have not received the full cash prize of Rs 7.5 million yet.  Maybe Thapa and his lads want to pay the league winner in installment that will go on for another decade.

ANFA receives hundreds of thousands of dollars from FIFA to develop football in Nepal but most of the funds go to pay off district Presidents and other members who have voting rights. 

No wonder, Thapa has two-third majority in the executive committee and he knows very well that no one can kick him out unless those who have received gift hampers suddenly develop a sense of morality and do the right thing.

Thapa is also good at keeping close ties with our politicians. A few weeks ago, one of our footballers received an apartment and our Emperor was there to hand over the gift. Both Thapa and our Emperor have three things in common. 

One, they both have been heading their respective organization for more than two decades. They both act like they have the divine right to lead their organization. And the most important stuff is of course the moolah. The Emperor controls all the funds and so does Thapa and they both use it to win over other comrades to help them stay on top.

Anil Gurung received a car thanks to Ncell. I hope ANFA will be kind enough to at least give him a free monthly voucher that will allow him to at least fill up 20 liters of petrol. Our ANFA officials don't have to worry about paying their bills but our footballers and clubs are struggling with financial problems.

It's not that we don't have good footballers in the country. Bimal bhai is doing great during his trial with a European club. Some of our footballers are playing in professional leagues in Asia. 

But here at home, our ANFA lazy bums fail to run the league consistently. One year, they do it and the next year, they scrap it and make it tough for our football clubs to survive.

Thapa's son received US$100,000 a few years ago from a Qatari who had high hopes of becoming the FIFA head someday.  Thapa claimed that it was a personal loan deal and it has already been cleared. 

If Thapa had the brains instead of only brawn then he would have asked the Qatari to provide millions to develop football in this country. Maybe, the Qataris would have even built us a few football stadiums and we would be more than happy to have 'Qatar Foundation' plastered all over the stadiums.

The Cricketers boycotted the national tournament and our Cricket Association wallahs were forced to sit down work towards resolving the crisis. 

Maybe, our football clubs should all boycott ANFA and without any football clubs in the country, ANFA can then organize maybe a two-a-side football tournament and have their own officials play the game. 

Ganesh Thapa shows no signs of quitting and instead, he challenges those not happy with his dictatorship to throw him out. He believes that ANFA is the most transparent organization in the country.  

Maybe, our football clubs should demand all the hisab kitab and how much dough he has spent so far making other district Presidents and voting members happy. 

After all, in this land of ours, you need the money and the muscles as well to win elections, be it national politics or in any other organizations.

Thapa is a former national team captain  and he knows very well how hard it is to survive playing football in this country. But Thapa and his crew are enjoying the high life while our football players play for the love of the game and barely make enough to live a decent life. 

We may not play in the World Cup any time soon but we should be winning most of our matches against our South Asian rivals. Thapa's two decades of dictatorship must come to an end but we need someone who will do his or her best to develop football instead of just having ANFA officials and their kids looting the funds.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Schools without textbooks

If the bideshis hear about 'schools without textbooks' in this beautiful land of ours then they must think that our students are all equipped with iPads and don't have to carry books to school. 

But our public students don't have iPads and they don't even have textbooks while they attend schools.  Let's all congratulate our incompetent government for being consistent in at least one thing, which is failing to provide textbooks to our public school students on time.

Our inefficient government began providing free school textbooks to public school students six years ago and they have yet to learn their lesson. Our government is spending Rs 1.28 billion to provide free textbooks to 6 million public school students in 29,000 public schools. 

If we calculate the kickbacks and chiya kharcha to hakim sahebs then it must run in millions of Rupees. Maybe, we need a strict headmaster or headmistress with a big bamboo stick to bring our Education ministry wallahs in line.

Majority of our public school students are forced to attend their classes without textbooks but our Education Ministry wallahs don't think it's a big issue. 

The staff at  Janak Shiksha Samagri Kendra (JSSK) are a bunch of jackasses who desperately need a big kick in their arses. JSSK is authorized to publish 70% of the total textbooks for the public schools but it has not even delivered 50% of the target.

The JSSK lazy bums now tell us that it will need at least a month to publish the remaining textbooks and another two weeks to supply them to the districts. 

Our private publishers have also failed to meet the target as well. But we live in a land where the contractors get their money even if they don't finish their work on time. Our civil servants don't have to provide any service to common citizens and yet they get pay increases and bonuses every year. 

Our corrupt clowns continue to fight over petty issues and really don't care much about writing the constitution ad yet we continue to believe in them. So how do we hold all them chors accountable?

Our government spends billions of Rupees on education but most of it goes to pay our public school teachers and some of it will be used to fill the pockets of hakim sahebs while only spare change will go to maintain the schools. 

Majority of our public schools don't even have toilets or clean drinking water.  
Most of our public school teachers collect their paychecks without even showing up for work.  

Many public teachers in the hilly districts are experts when it comes to playing cards and drinking local moonshine.  Maybe, they will do better if they apply for jobs as card dealers at our casinos or maybe as master tasters at some distillery.

Well, there are a few good public schools in the country and maybe a thousand dedicated teachers but the rest of the bunch are enjoying free lunch because they are affiliated with our political parties. 

Every year, hundreds of thousands of public school students fail their SLC exams. Maybe it would be better if we could deduct the pay of public school teachers if the students fail their exams.  So, if a public school somewhere has a zero percent pass rate then the teachers get nothing for the next academic session.  

They will have to work for free instead of getting free lunches. But of course, we have unions everywhere and our teacher unions are more eager to fight for pay increases every year instead of helping our students get good education.

How does our government expect our students to learn when they don't have textbooks?  The government is busy asking for US$400 million loan from the Chinese for our hydropower projects. 

Maybe, we should ask the Chinese for some help in getting the textbooks on time. Yes, let private publishers print the textbooks and if a Chinese company can do it for fraction of the cost then let them do it. 

If our government really wants to get some free cash from the Chinese then we can make it mandatory for our SLC students to at least take one foreign language subject for their exams.  We can give them the option of Mandarin, Latin and Aramaic.  

Mel Gibson is probably the only guy who knows Aramaic and only Pope Francis does Latin for his masses.  Our students will have no choice but to take Mandarin. And if we can produce half a million Mandarin speaking students every year then maybe that will help them to work as tourist guides, liaison officers or even work for Chinese companies abroad. 

The Desis might not be too happy with the 'Mandarin' stuff but we can appease them by saying that Bollywood movies are making all the money from us and most of our students know the latest Bollywood song lyrics anyway.

It's the same natak every year and it's about time our students boycotted their schools and demand reforms in the education sector. Let's learn a thing or two from our cricketers! 

Yes, our public school student should stand up for their rights and demand textbooks on time. Maybe, we should gather six million public school students and gherao the Education Ministry demanding the end of the annual textbook shortage natak once and for all. 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Cricket Revolution

There have been many revolutions in history from the times of the Pharaohs till this day. The French Revolution helped the French to drink more wine and work less. Since, the Frenchies prefer love to war, they also do not frown upon politicians having extra-marital affairs.  

Vaclav Havel, the Czech playwright led the Velvet Revolution that brought down the country's communist regime. The Iranians got rid of the Shah and they got the preachers instead who want to go nuclear instead of exporting more dates and pistachio. They have oil as well but I guess they want to export nukes instead.

But not all revolutions end well. Havel could not save his country from being split into two.  Nobody could have imagined that Saddam would be hanged and Gaddafi, the savage dictator would meet such a savage end. 

Empires fall, dictators either get the boot or if they are lucky, they run away with the loot. And just a few flight hours away, our Thai friends have the Red and the Yellow shirts and both of them want to strangle each other over who has the best Pad Thai recipe.

Our country has also witnessed countless revolutions in the past sixty years but the lives of the common folks have not changed for better.  But something is brewing and we have to thank our cricketers for taking a stand and mustering the courage to demand reforms in the Cricket Association of Nepal (CAN). Our national cricketers have claimed that have not received allowances and pay since ages.  

Instead, CAN decided to pay US$84,000 fine to ICC because they failed to submit their financial reports on time.  If CAN was not governed by a bunch of lazy bums then they would have submit their reports on time and could have used that money to provide bonuses to our cricketers. 

Paras Khadka and his lads have also demanded transparency in CAN's accounts. While CAN officials waste money to tag along with the players on various tours, the association does not have adequate funds to hire a trainer and physiotherapists. 

Our cricket heroes have also demanded medical treatment for fellow cricketer, Prithu Baskota.  Our government should stop funding medical treatments of our stupid netas abroad and instead provide some funds for injured athletes instead. 

Our lads were promised bonuses and cash prizes by our government and CAN as well. But it's the same story of 'false promises' by our folks in authority while our athletes go home with empty pockets. CAN officials made a deal with BS Sports that prohibits our cricketers from using bats with other sponsors. We all know that our CAN officials received some kickbacks from the sponsor while our players got nothing.

Our cricketers have been requesting CAN officials to take extra players during foreign tours so that they could get exposure but our good for nothing officials have ignored their pleas. Instead, the officials send their own so that they can get exposure to shopping and taking pictures of their foreign visits.  

We all have to support our cricketers in their fight for their rights. Just posting 'You are my Hero' statuses in Facebook won't do.  Just wearing the national team t-shirt will not help our cricketers to get their much deserved bonuses and pay.

So, we must all join the fight and demand reforms in all sports associations in the country. Ganesh Thapa has been ruling ANFA like he owns the association. We are not even sure if there will be a national football league this year. Thapa and his cronies have been making millions whereas our football players and clubs are struggling.

Every Olympics or Asian Games, we see a few athletes and a whole bunch of athletes during the Opening and Closing ceremonies. Our association wallahs use the free ticket and stipend to attend meeting of various international sports bodies but cannot provide a decent diet or pay to the athletes. 

When will we learn to reward our heroes and shun the political savages who have infiltrated every sports and civic associations in the country? Even the FNCCI election is a big joke where our fake VAT bill byaparis spend millions of Rupees so that they can head the association and do nothing.

Maybe, the Cricket Revolution will also inspire all of us to stand up and fight for our rights once and for all. We need to join hands with our lads and demand reforms in the government. The time is right, the huri batas and dhulo mulo these days make us scatter but let us not run away from the scums who are destroying this land of ours. 

Like CAN, our political partie should also submit their financial reports on time and be transparent and held accountable for any damages to public property whenever they go on a rampage.  Let's applaud Paras and his friends for taking a stand against the evil CAN officials. When will we take a stand against the scums and dirtbags who are taking this beautiful land of ours down the drain?

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Got a Green Card?

If you are a civil servant and you have a green card or permanent residency in foreign lands then please be careful not to brag about it to your fellow colleagues. Our incompetent government is now after our hardworking civil servants who have green cards or PR. 

Well, it's a good effort but it would be much better if the government first took action against CA members who happen to have dual citizenship or green cards. Some of our CA members are even found to have been engaged in criminal activities and they are yet to be arrested.   Maybe, being a CA member makes you above the law.

Lal Babu Pandit, the so-called crusader against 'green card wallahs' have called those holding permanent residency in foreign lands traitors.  I think the biggest traitors are our netas themselves who may have Nepali nagarikta but bow down to foreign hands and funds and enjoy looting the state treasury. 

Pandit thinks that our civil servants holding dual citizenship or green cards are a threat to sovereignty of the country as if they are going to sell our state secrets to foreign bidders.  We don't have any nuclear bombs or weapons of mass destruction.  We are not planning to invade India or China any time soon.  

If our bideshi ambassadors want to know what's going on in this lands of ours then they can just drive to the residences of our netas and get the information while drinking doodh chiya. Of course, our netas need some pocket money and foreign agents don't have to really place a mole in our state agencies to get the facts. Our netas themselves will serve as informants if they get some chiya kharcha.

Pandit claims that more than 11,000 civil servants hold dual citizenship.  Our buffoons think that the 'green card' wallahs are not loyal to the country.  Our government should track all the children of our netas who have acquired green card and maybe show them the red card instead.  

Many of our princelings own gas stations, dry cleaners and convenience stores in Amrika.  And the funding did not come from their years of hard work in the land of opportunity but from their fathers who happened to be a mantri for a few months or years.  

Maybe, our government should ask the bideshis to provide us the details of the kids of our politicians who have bought apartments in New York or London.  Some of them must have worked in investment banks or tech start-ups and made a killing but most of them have to thank their parents for their luxury pads.

If our government really wants the civil servants to do their jobs then stop extorting them for promotions and lucrative transfers.  After all, it's our netas who make the moolah from civil servants and then our sarkari hakims have no choice but to extort common citizens to make more money.   So if our netas want to show their loyalty to the country then they should ask their children to come back home and work in remote areas for a decade.   

Yes, civil servants should not hold dual citizenship or green cards and the rule should apply to our netas as well.  Sujata auntie came back from Germany in the 90s so that she should screw up the country by making some dough from our state corporations while her late Daddy was in power.   Was she a German citizen or a PR holder when she decided to come back and make some dough?  
Our government is planning to relocate the Central Jail to Nuwakot. Why not Rolpa or even Dolpa? Yes, locate all prisons to remote areas so that our convicts will have to walk at least a few weeks even if they manage to break out from the prisons.  

I think it would be better if our prisoners were mobilized to help build roads in rural areas. At least, they could be a part of the development projects in the country instead of living in congested jail cells and learning how to extort, kidnap and murder others once they are out of prison. 

And if our politicians and civil servants are convicted and sent to prison then they should do hard labor and maybe work in mines or stone quarries so that they will at least learn a thing or two about what hard work really means.

It's about time we relocated all our fuel stations outside the ring road area so that our roads are not backed up due to fuel shortages. Let's relocate our ministries and government agencies outside the valley so that Kathmanduites can go all the way to Dolpa to pay their utility bills.

Maybe, we should make it mandatory for all able bodied citizens to at least travel 150km from their residence and stay in a hotel for a night and eat dal bhat for lunch at a local pasal once a year.  That would be a big boost for domestic tourism. 

And what about our netas? I think we need to have a law that limits foreign travel by civil servants and corrupt netas. Let's peg it at only one foreign trip per year and not for more than a week and if they are taking their spouses then they will have to pay from their pocket instead of ours.