Saturday, June 16, 2018

Too Big for their Boots!




Our man in Baluwatar will be visiting China next week. The leader of the greatest communist party on earth will meet leaders of the Chinese Communist Party. Oli went to India and then Modi did his 'religious' trek in our land. Let' s hope President Xi Jinping will also come to Nepal soon and enjoy our local vyar vyar momos. 

Our netas go to foreign lands not to get good deals for the country but to waste our taxpayer's money. It's vacation time for their near and dear ones while our thulo mancheys beg for bridges and buses. Oli tells us that we will have a railway line from Kathmandu to Kerung. But first, our netas and civil servants must seek approval from the Desi Ambassador in town or else the project will be stuck like many others in the past. Yes, the key to Nepal's progress lies not in Singha Durbar but somewhere else. 

So, if we really want to stand up against our government for trying to make our land a police state then we must gherao all the bideshis Embassies in town and ask them to stop doling out funds to our netas. Once, the free cash dries up, then maybe our good for nothing politician will get down to business and do something good for this nation instead of turning this beautiful land of ours into a failed state where only slimy contractors, lazy civil servants and corrupt clowns have fun.

Our Home Minister is in a mission to get rid of gangsters. It seems that the Indians are slowly moving away from 'encounters' but our police wallahs think that shooting criminals in broad daylight will solve all the problems. 

Someday, we will all need to be walking around in bullet-proof vests because you never know when our men and women in blue will start shooting for no apparent reason. It seems that we are following the Desi model of politics, policing and puppet shows from the 80s. India has had moved on to better things while our netas are turning this land into what Bihar was a few decades ago.

The Home Ministry thinks that our NGOs and INGOs are the main problem. Now, all office bearers of NGOs have to submit property details and update their stuff every four months. It's funny that our political parties fail to submit their financial reports on time and our netas all submit fake property details and get away with it but now they want to get rid of NGOs in this country. 

Where are our civil society leaders today? Maybe, we were just happy to get rid of a King but now when we have hundreds of Maharajas in the country, our so-called community leaders seem to be hiding.

Our Home Minister promises to take action against slimy contractors but most of them are connected to our so-called top leaders of major political parties. This is the country where only small fishes get caught while the big sharks continue to loot the State. 

Our communists should learn the good stuff from the Chinese communists like to how to attract foreign investment and focusing on infrastructure and not follow their steps when it comes to dealing with human rights and freedom of speech, religion and assembly. 

But it seems that our communists first want to shut down everything before they turn this land into a police state. I think our former Maoists have forgotten that if it weren't for the NGOs and the INGOs then they would not have gotten this far. But of course, once you get into power, you forget everything and just enjoy the freebies. 

Our Emperor wants to be our President like the Amriki and the Chinese so that he can finally rule Nepal forever. But Trump can't do more than two terms and Xi should have left office after two terms as well but now, he gets to be the man in China for life. 

Our comrades should understand that this is Nepal and even if you have two-third majority in the House, don't get too big for your boots because at the end, the Nepali voters will get to vote again in five years unless you want to scrap everything and turn us into a one-party circus land. 

We thought that our comrades would do the right thing and take us forward but it seems that they are just happy that they now control the House and most of the provinces and plan to just misuse their power to help their near and dear ones. 

It's about time our media, civil society and the common folks stand up and tell our folks in power that the people stood up  against the Shree Tins, the Pancheys and one day, they will not bow down to those in power today who think that they now have the mandate to make this land worse than ever.

Let us thank the Oli government for increase in food prices. Yes, we now pay more for food and fuel and even our taxes on land, vehicle and what not. Forget about any freebies from the State. It seems that our comrades are not interested to help the common folks. They are no better than our Congressis.

It doesn’t matter if you are a communist or not because at the end of the day, our politicians are all con artists. Their main goal is to get into power and make money. Let us all apologize to the real martyrs of all the movements in this land and seek forgiveness for where this country is heading. Yes, it is up to us, the common folks to feel sorry for ourselves because our thulo mancheys will neither apologize nor seek forgiveness for their misdeeds. 


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Spineless EC!




The Election Commission (EC) is like any other government agencies in town.  The hakim sahebs there know how to waste taxpayers money by purchasing luxury vehicles for themselves. The EC spent millions of Rupees on voter education and most of us were still confused when we went to the polls. And like most of our sarkari offices, we all know that lots of inflated bills are approved and chiya kharcha is shared among the folks there. 

Let's hope one day, we will really get used to electronic voting machines so that our politicians won't have to chew the ballot papers to win elections. And we also won't have to waste millions more to feed our civil servants and members of the political parties when they spend days and weeks counting votes. We can get the results within hours and all of us can go back to the work the next day instead of wasting our time at local chiya pasals talking politics for weeks or even months. 

It seems that politics is like a sport in this country. We see politics everywhere and we need factions as well. It's not only national politics but even the local tole sudhar samiti will have factions and both parties will battle it out as if they will get the chance to loot billions of Rupees from the State Treasury like our political parties. Even our local youth clubs will turn into war zones when it's time for elections to elect a new Executive Committee. 

Yes, whenever there is money to be made from parking or renting out government land to vegetable sellers or any freebies from the State , then we will have folks battling it out to lead our toles, youth clubs and any social, sports and even recreational organizations. 

It seems that our laws of the land are only for common folks while our civil servants, politicians and political parties can get away with anything. Our EC has decided to give official status to the greatest communist party on Earth. Yes, our Nepal Communist Party (NCP) is now registered with EC even as it fails to ensure 33% seats to women.  Our EC folks think it's okay to allow the registration of NCP even if it does not meet the requirements set by the EC. 

The NCP has only 16% women in its central committee whereas it has only two women in its standing committee and no women in its nine-member central secretariat.  The greatest Communist party on Earth has only 72 women in its 441-member central committee.  

Our communist netas are poor men married to rich women but it seems that when it comes to politics, they do not want to give women opportunities to lead the party. A few years ago, we were hoping for a woman Prime Minister when we had the all-women Speaker, Chief Justice and President combination in place.

But it seems that Oli Baba did not even think it would be a good move to give opportunity to a woman to lead Province 3 as its Chief Minister. Instead another  grumpy old man was given the chance to be the Chief Mumbler. After all, our Chief Ministers now know that they will not be given adequate budget nor authority to make their provinces prosperous. The so-called sharing is caring natak is only true when our political parties share the loot at the federal level but our central government is not interested to share revenue, authority and a whole lot of stuff with the provincial and local bodies at all.

We may have a woman President but we will know that we have at least made it when we will have a woman Prime Minister in Singha Durbar in real life instead of only in reel life. Yes, we wouldn't mind Gauri Malla as our real Prime Minister someday.  

India had Indira Gandhi, Pakistan had Benazir, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh have had their shares of iron ladies. When will get ours?  The British had one before and they now have another but the Amrikis missed out the chance to have a woman leader at the White House. When will we get our Superwoman?

Our PM Oli has asked women politicians of his own party not to make it a big issue because the 33% quota will be fulfilled when the party has its general convention in the next two years. What our women politicians from all political parties need to understand is that these old men will not give women and 
minorities any chance to lead the parties. 

Our women politicians should quit their parties and establish a new all-women political party instead. Yes, let us show the world that we can do it. Our sisters, mothers, girlfriends and wives should all get together and register a new political party. Then our EC wallahs might come up with a new rule that seeks 33% representation of men. 

We have seen what our men netas have done to this country. Yes, we have seen a few corrupt women netas as well but it's about time our women politicians got together and stand up for elections the next time around and finally lead us to peace and prosperity instead of dividing this country into pieces so that most of our netas and their near ones can get free lunch from the State. 

Mothers know best but why are we still giving our clowns the chance to pass the test when they have failed miserably over and over again. Yes, we should try again till we succeed but not in politics. Aren't we tired of our blood sucking parasites?  If yes, then ask your sisters, wives, girlfriends and mothers to work together to take us all out from the political cesspool.  Women of Nepal unite to form the greatest political party on Earth!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com