Saturday, April 19, 2014

Schools without textbooks

If the bideshis hear about 'schools without textbooks' in this beautiful land of ours then they must think that our students are all equipped with iPads and don't have to carry books to school. 

But our public students don't have iPads and they don't even have textbooks while they attend schools.  Let's all congratulate our incompetent government for being consistent in at least one thing, which is failing to provide textbooks to our public school students on time.

Our inefficient government began providing free school textbooks to public school students six years ago and they have yet to learn their lesson. Our government is spending Rs 1.28 billion to provide free textbooks to 6 million public school students in 29,000 public schools. 

If we calculate the kickbacks and chiya kharcha to hakim sahebs then it must run in millions of Rupees. Maybe, we need a strict headmaster or headmistress with a big bamboo stick to bring our Education ministry wallahs in line.

Majority of our public school students are forced to attend their classes without textbooks but our Education Ministry wallahs don't think it's a big issue. 

The staff at  Janak Shiksha Samagri Kendra (JSSK) are a bunch of jackasses who desperately need a big kick in their arses. JSSK is authorized to publish 70% of the total textbooks for the public schools but it has not even delivered 50% of the target.

The JSSK lazy bums now tell us that it will need at least a month to publish the remaining textbooks and another two weeks to supply them to the districts. 

Our private publishers have also failed to meet the target as well. But we live in a land where the contractors get their money even if they don't finish their work on time. Our civil servants don't have to provide any service to common citizens and yet they get pay increases and bonuses every year. 

Our corrupt clowns continue to fight over petty issues and really don't care much about writing the constitution ad yet we continue to believe in them. So how do we hold all them chors accountable?

Our government spends billions of Rupees on education but most of it goes to pay our public school teachers and some of it will be used to fill the pockets of hakim sahebs while only spare change will go to maintain the schools. 

Majority of our public schools don't even have toilets or clean drinking water.  
Most of our public school teachers collect their paychecks without even showing up for work.  

Many public teachers in the hilly districts are experts when it comes to playing cards and drinking local moonshine.  Maybe, they will do better if they apply for jobs as card dealers at our casinos or maybe as master tasters at some distillery.

Well, there are a few good public schools in the country and maybe a thousand dedicated teachers but the rest of the bunch are enjoying free lunch because they are affiliated with our political parties. 

Every year, hundreds of thousands of public school students fail their SLC exams. Maybe it would be better if we could deduct the pay of public school teachers if the students fail their exams.  So, if a public school somewhere has a zero percent pass rate then the teachers get nothing for the next academic session.  

They will have to work for free instead of getting free lunches. But of course, we have unions everywhere and our teacher unions are more eager to fight for pay increases every year instead of helping our students get good education.

How does our government expect our students to learn when they don't have textbooks?  The government is busy asking for US$400 million loan from the Chinese for our hydropower projects. 

Maybe, we should ask the Chinese for some help in getting the textbooks on time. Yes, let private publishers print the textbooks and if a Chinese company can do it for fraction of the cost then let them do it. 

If our government really wants to get some free cash from the Chinese then we can make it mandatory for our SLC students to at least take one foreign language subject for their exams.  We can give them the option of Mandarin, Latin and Aramaic.  

Mel Gibson is probably the only guy who knows Aramaic and only Pope Francis does Latin for his masses.  Our students will have no choice but to take Mandarin. And if we can produce half a million Mandarin speaking students every year then maybe that will help them to work as tourist guides, liaison officers or even work for Chinese companies abroad. 

The Desis might not be too happy with the 'Mandarin' stuff but we can appease them by saying that Bollywood movies are making all the money from us and most of our students know the latest Bollywood song lyrics anyway.

It's the same natak every year and it's about time our students boycotted their schools and demand reforms in the education sector. Let's learn a thing or two from our cricketers! 

Yes, our public school student should stand up for their rights and demand textbooks on time. Maybe, we should gather six million public school students and gherao the Education Ministry demanding the end of the annual textbook shortage natak once and for all. 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Cricket Revolution

There have been many revolutions in history from the times of the Pharaohs till this day. The French Revolution helped the French to drink more wine and work less. Since, the Frenchies prefer love to war, they also do not frown upon politicians having extra-marital affairs.  

Vaclav Havel, the Czech playwright led the Velvet Revolution that brought down the country's communist regime. The Iranians got rid of the Shah and they got the preachers instead who want to go nuclear instead of exporting more dates and pistachio. They have oil as well but I guess they want to export nukes instead.

But not all revolutions end well. Havel could not save his country from being split into two.  Nobody could have imagined that Saddam would be hanged and Gaddafi, the savage dictator would meet such a savage end. 

Empires fall, dictators either get the boot or if they are lucky, they run away with the loot. And just a few flight hours away, our Thai friends have the Red and the Yellow shirts and both of them want to strangle each other over who has the best Pad Thai recipe.

Our country has also witnessed countless revolutions in the past sixty years but the lives of the common folks have not changed for better.  But something is brewing and we have to thank our cricketers for taking a stand and mustering the courage to demand reforms in the Cricket Association of Nepal (CAN). Our national cricketers have claimed that have not received allowances and pay since ages.  

Instead, CAN decided to pay US$84,000 fine to ICC because they failed to submit their financial reports on time.  If CAN was not governed by a bunch of lazy bums then they would have submit their reports on time and could have used that money to provide bonuses to our cricketers. 

Paras Khadka and his lads have also demanded transparency in CAN's accounts. While CAN officials waste money to tag along with the players on various tours, the association does not have adequate funds to hire a trainer and physiotherapists. 

Our cricket heroes have also demanded medical treatment for fellow cricketer, Prithu Baskota.  Our government should stop funding medical treatments of our stupid netas abroad and instead provide some funds for injured athletes instead. 

Our lads were promised bonuses and cash prizes by our government and CAN as well. But it's the same story of 'false promises' by our folks in authority while our athletes go home with empty pockets. CAN officials made a deal with BS Sports that prohibits our cricketers from using bats with other sponsors. We all know that our CAN officials received some kickbacks from the sponsor while our players got nothing.

Our cricketers have been requesting CAN officials to take extra players during foreign tours so that they could get exposure but our good for nothing officials have ignored their pleas. Instead, the officials send their own so that they can get exposure to shopping and taking pictures of their foreign visits.  

We all have to support our cricketers in their fight for their rights. Just posting 'You are my Hero' statuses in Facebook won't do.  Just wearing the national team t-shirt will not help our cricketers to get their much deserved bonuses and pay.

So, we must all join the fight and demand reforms in all sports associations in the country. Ganesh Thapa has been ruling ANFA like he owns the association. We are not even sure if there will be a national football league this year. Thapa and his cronies have been making millions whereas our football players and clubs are struggling.

Every Olympics or Asian Games, we see a few athletes and a whole bunch of athletes during the Opening and Closing ceremonies. Our association wallahs use the free ticket and stipend to attend meeting of various international sports bodies but cannot provide a decent diet or pay to the athletes. 

When will we learn to reward our heroes and shun the political savages who have infiltrated every sports and civic associations in the country? Even the FNCCI election is a big joke where our fake VAT bill byaparis spend millions of Rupees so that they can head the association and do nothing.

Maybe, the Cricket Revolution will also inspire all of us to stand up and fight for our rights once and for all. We need to join hands with our lads and demand reforms in the government. The time is right, the huri batas and dhulo mulo these days make us scatter but let us not run away from the scums who are destroying this land of ours. 

Like CAN, our political partie should also submit their financial reports on time and be transparent and held accountable for any damages to public property whenever they go on a rampage.  Let's applaud Paras and his friends for taking a stand against the evil CAN officials. When will we take a stand against the scums and dirtbags who are taking this beautiful land of ours down the drain?