Saturday, December 3, 2016

The People vs the Parasites!

It seems that we the people have different priorities like how to manage our household budget, how to find better and affordable schools for our kids without having to take a loan from the bank or if you live in the valley then how to handle the 'no load-shedding' thing! 

But our parasites are in a different zone. They do not have to worry about paying their bills because they get to enjoy the 'no work, but yes pay' natak from the state.

We, the people really don't care if we have provinces or not. We have been doing fine since the 17th century when the House of Shah united this country and we will keep on moving forward, taking care of our families by working hard either here at home or abroad even after the House of Fools break up this country and we longer exist as a state.

It is only our politicians who want provinces so that they can continue to misuse the authority and the resources provided by the government. Instead of a few hundred lawmakers enjoying the loot, we will have thousands. 

But what about the millions of us, who have no choice but to go abroad to make a decent living while the chors live a good life by gobbling up the resources and opportunities meant for the people?

What was wrong with the five development regions from the days of the Pancheys? We  see nothing wrong with former Pancheys enjoying state perks and political powers today?  Then why do our politicians think that anything associated with the 'old' is wrong? 

Yes, we are not the same old Nepal anymore. We are 'new' where nothing has changed at all because the hakim sahebs and our netas continue to steal from all of us while we seem to be helpless to do anything to stop the evil doers from ruining this beautiful land! 

If our politicians were really smart then they would not have brought this mess of trying to divide this country into provinces. I think somebody should buy world maps and gift it to all of our Constipated Assembly (CA) members! I guess our lawbreakers need to take some lessons from our Geography Department at TU! 

Yes, Amrika has 50 states. The Desis have 29 states.  and we had 14 states earlier but now our politicians think we will do go with seven. But the people would do great with none.

Our politicians could do us all a favor and just work on the five development region natak from the past and just make Kathmandu Valley, a federal district like the Amrikans do with DC! We all know it will take our politicians at least another twenty years to build a new capital city. 

Just follow the 'Melamchi' model. And the possibility of having a second, third or even fourth international airport in the country has the same odds as our country generating 10,000 MW in the next ten years. 

Yes, it is possible but our politicians and civil servants make it impossible because they have nothing to gain if the country and its people prosper. We, the people are true patriots because we love this land and we want to live with each other in peace. We do not put our political glasses when we look at each other. 

We do not see our chimeki as our enemy, well, only if he encroaches on our land. But look at our politicians, the real traitors who do nothing to help the people but only make time for con artists to cook up new schemes to loot the state. It's sad that our clowns and civil servants  have no idea how to make our chimekis happy and reap the benefits of being right in the middle of the two emerging giants.

Yes, our politicians blame India for trying to take over Tarai from us. Well, how long can our clowns keep on fooling us with the same anti-Indian nataks. We heard it well during the Panchey days. We still hear it today. We are still angry with India. 

Well, yes, the blockade thing was nasty and some of us are even mad today because Modi bhai decided to surprise us all with his ban on old 500 and 1,000 ICs. Well, that's his business but why on earth did our Nepal Rastra Bank tell us that it was okay to accept them notes more than a year ago when it was not okay to even bring them in the country before that?  

It seems that banda season has already started early this year. Our folks are not happy that our clowns want to split some of our hills from the Tarai. Our Prime Monster is not happy that the United Mundrey Leaders are not happy with his proposal to do so. 

I think our Emperor should just quit politics and become a film director instead. He directs the Education and Health ministers to address the demands of Dr KC after nearly three weeks since the doctor began his hunger strike. 

He seems to be directing here, there and everywhere. He is a good actor as well and we have seen him dance with one of our Kollywood star as well. What's next for our great magician? We don’t know. 

We will just have to wait for him to leave Baluwatar and welcome 'Pajero' Deuba back who will resolve the political crisis in the country by offering nothing to the people but everything to the parasites. 

Let us all ask for forgiveness from our ancestors for continuing to accept and tolerate the nataks from these chors! Let us pray for DR KC and send a message to our government that if they continue to ignore the people, then who will douse the fire once it starts to burn all over the country because your cadres will take to the streets when you tell them to but when we take to the streets then you better start running!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Pickpockets Empty Our Pockets!

Our lawbreakers have endorsed a bill to increase their salary and chiya kharcha. I think our lazy bums are really out of touch with reality. They have no shame and instead act like this country is their personal property and can be divided and sold to the highest bidder for their own personal gain. 

I don’t know who gave them such idea but it's time we sent our lawbreakers to meet up with the shrinks so that we can at least figure out why are they so eager to loot us all. 

Was it because they had a difficult childhood or was it because they were just too lazy to find real work and make an honest living? Or were they Kings in their previous lives and now had to steal from all of us to maintain the lifestyle they lived then?

Our psychiatrists could help them overcome the mental illness they seem to be suffering from and achieve better mental health! Maybe, hypnosis could cure our netas! Yes, people do quit smoking, quit drinking and who knows, our clowns could quit looting through hypnosis. Wouldn't that be great for this country? 

Then, finally we would have honest politicians with morals, integrity and character. And instead of only thinking of how to exploit the system and extort from everyone, they would for a change think of making this country and our lives better.

Our pickpockets will receive Rs 124,000 from the next fiscal year! It seems that our politicians want to reward themselves for procrastination. I think we should have a 'no work, no pay' system for our clowns!

It will take an average Nepali more than a year to make what our lawbreakers will get in a month. Why is there no outrage when our politicians continue to loot the state treasury to fatten their bellies? 

We have already spent billions of Rupees feeding these greedy pickpockets and it seems that they will not come together to resolve the political crisis in the country. Instead, they will keep on asking for more perks while delivering nothing.

We all know that our political parties have yet to agree on the names, number of provinces and boundaries and what not. Who knows, we might even be lucky enough to witness CA Part 3 and our politicians can waste another decade doing nothing while the country goes down in flames. 

When it comes to sharing the loot amongst themselves, our clowns cross party lines, come together and support each other. But when it comes to doing something good for the country, our clowns blame each other for the mess we are in, accuse each other of being foreign stooges and threaten each other with bandas and what not!

While our clowns pat each other for raising their pay and perks, our doctors at Teaching Hospital have decided to boycott the out-patient department to support the ongoing hunger strike by Dr KC! I think we should also support Dr KC and his demands and wear black armbands to work. 

Whenever we see our politicians riding around town in luxury vehicles, let us all wave black flags to show our displeasure or we can go a step further and learn from the South Koreans when it comes to organizing mass rallies.

It's been two weeks now since Dr KC started his 10th hunger strike. Our Health Minister Gagan Thapa is in China. Thapa did visit KC a few days ago to inquire about his health. I guess Thapa can't do much and he would be better off if he resigned now. 

He could win some political points and at least tell the world that he did try to help the doctor but the mafia was just too strong to fight against during the next election campaign!

Our Prime Monster doesn't care. Why should he? He has already accomplished so much in his 100 days in office that he can take credit for the way this country is moving for the next decade. But what must we do to pressure our incompetent government to address Dr KC 's demands? 

Taking to the streets will not be enough for our government. We cannot act like savages and destroy public property like the cadres of our political parties. We cannot block our highways, shut down our schools and businesses and hurt ourselves. Our netas and their cadres can do that because they don't have to go to work and make an honest living!

We cannot ask the Madam President to help out because she is busy cutting ribbons and making sure Ram Dev Baba open up factories for his ayurvedic products in this country. Yes, Ram Dev has promised to help this country with the profits from his factory in Nepal. Yes, our billionaire NRN Dr Mahato is partnering with the Baba. 

Who knows, one day, the Baba's shop could sell everything you need from birth till death! And we can ask him to at least brew some herbs that we can offer to our politicians and civil servants to cure them from various ailments that make them misuse their authority and loot from the state and the people!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at