Saturday, March 21, 2015

More Protests, More Problems

Our clowns were supposed to work things out last Saturday and come together to forge consensus on the disputed issues in the constitution writing process. Well, as usual, they failed miserably and are again blaming each other for not being flexible. 

Our good for nothing freeloaders should not meet on Saturdays unless they get to drink bideshi whiskey and mutton sekuwa. Then, we might reach an agreement when our clowns are drunk and belly full of food by the end of the evening.

Our opposition wallahs have announced a month-long protest program to once again demand consensus to resolve the political deadlock. We all know that none of our freeloaders really want to give us a constitution. They are not willing to compromise and sacrifice for the good of the country.  

All they want is a promise from each other to take turns to loot the state treasury when in power. Somebody needs to remind them that only cadres and cousins don't make a country. 

Our 30-party opposition alliance plans to shut down the country, boycott government programs and gherao government office as part of it second round of protest nataks. The first round ended with hawatari speeches at Khula Manch. Let's hope the second round will have more juice. 

Please do not repeat the same natak again and again. Come up with something creative and boggle our minds. Organize a comedy festival across the country. Hire comedians to carry out mimicry of the ruling clowns. Give us a show we will enjoy instead of making us stay home.

Our Emperor tells us that the protest programs are necessary. Is it necessary to shut down the country and make all of our lives miserable? Millions of us have to go to work. Our kids have to go to school. 

The daily wage laborers have it the worst. I think our opposition wallahs should promise us compensation for our lost wages. But of course, our netas and their cadres don't care about the common folks.  They only know how to extort from common folks, civil servants and contractors.

This beautiful land of ours will be shutdown on April 2, 7, 8 and 9. I guess our opposition wallahs must have consulted a dozen astrologers to get the dates right. Now, all of us have to make sure that we stay home during these days and cancel any plans that we might have made earlier on these days. Instead of chakka jams and Nepal bandas, why not only go after the ruling clowns? After all, aren't they the ones who are pissing you off?

Yes, if you are not happy with SuKo then only carry out blockade around the PM's residence. If Bam Dev is pissing you off then gherao his residence and do not let him out of his house for a week. But don't trouble us by shutting down our schools, businesses and transportation services. 

Let us go on with our lives. Make the lives of the ruling clowns miserable and maybe we will also join in the fun while we watch them go to work on foot instead of gas guzzling luxury vehicles. And it's also better for their health if they start walking.

Our opposition wallahs also plan to shut down government offices, boycott public functions attended by our PM and his mini-sinisters. Our Emperor and his friends have also bought thousands of black flags so that they can wave them at our ruling clowns. 

The protesters will also hold demonstrations in front of district development offices across the country to protest against violence against women, load-shedding, corruption and everything that is wrong with this country. Where were these fools when most of us didn't have any cooking gas this winter?

If our opposition wallahs really care about the people then they should go after our byaparis selling adulterated food products. Shut down the gas dealers and petrol pump stations who are cheating consumers. If the pumps operated by our Nepal Police and Army wallahs can cheat consumers then we can't expect our petrol pump sahujis to be honest. 

Take action against our transport wallahs who refuse to reduce the transport fare even after getting directives to do so by the government. But of course, it's the transport wallahs and other byaparis who provide the funds for our clowns to carry out protest programs. So, don't expect our clowns to go after these chors. After all, our clowns are the biggest chors of them all. 

Our clowns only know how to shut down the country because it's easier to gather a bunch of cadres and vandalize vehicles along the highways. It’s easier to burn tyres and hurl stones at the cops and beat up innocent folks who dare to defy the bandas. 

When will our lazy bums wake up and learn how to mobilize their cadres to do something good for the country?  Half a million young folks sit for SLC exams each year. Our political parties don't have any ideas on how to provide them jobs. 

They would rather be happy with all of us leaving for foreign lands. The manpower agencies will make billions and some of it will go to our political parties to carry out more bandas and other nataks.  

I hope someday we will have enough courage to defy all bandas and our police wallahs and security personnel should do what they have sworn to do. Protect and serve the public instead of the corrupt clowns.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Make or Break

Our clowns are sitting for formal talks today to find a way out to break the political deadlock.  We all know that our incompetent buffoons will only waste our taxpayers money on refreshment, fuel and over-time bhatta for our security personnel during such meetings. 

I think it would be better if our clowns ate dal, bhat at home and then go for the meeting. Bring your own thermos of milk tea and a bottle of mineral water. Yes, at least save a few rupees of our taxpayers money. 

Our clowns all love gas-guzzling luxury vehicles and they are not satisfied with their free rides. They also want free fuel and maintenance kharcha. I think it would be better if they at least used public transportation once a week. Yes, mingle with the people and see for yourselves how they are harassed by perverts and foul-mouthed conductors. And save us a few liters of petrol as well.

Why can't they take up cycling? It would be nice if our lazy bums cycled all the way to Dhulikhel and held their meeting at a local chiya pasal over jeri-swari and black tea. Don’t' waste our money on resorts and five star hotels.

It's sad to see a bunch of security personnel working round the clock, protecting our clowns from other clowns and probably their own disgruntled cadres. Why do our netas need such tight security surrounded by Rambos? 

Let the security personnel have a day off instead of working like slaves for our incompetent netas.  Yes, Saturday is a day to relax and let loose. Our clowns do not need to show us they are working hard by meeting up on Saturdays because we all know that they are the laziest Nepalis in this country. 

I think it would be better if our clowns all met at the national stadium. Yes, let's put some tables and chairs in the middle of the football ground and hear what they have to say. We can even pay to attend the meeting as audience. The funds raised from the entry fee will help to cover the chiya kharcha for our clowns. 

I think we should have a live telecast of such meetings so that we can find out what actually goes on during such talks.  Our clowns will be careful if they are on live TV. 

Instead of cracking jokes about each others' bulging bellies and rosy cheeks, they will have to be serious and talk about the disputed issues in the constitution writing process. We all know that our clowns all have full stomach and nothing better to do. They are not problem solvers but troublemakers.

Our clowns do not have to worry about anything. It's us, the common folks who have to worry about shortage of water, cooking gas and electricity. Our netas have their personal aides call up the concerned agencies to provide them with freebies. While we worry about fulfilling our basic needs, our clowns worry about filling their bellies with ill-gotten proceeds.

Our freeloaders tell us that they have already agreed on the forms of government, judiciary and electoral system but have not been able to agree on the federal model to be adopted. 

The first Constipated Assembly (CA) was dissolved because no one could agree on the federal model and it's the same story this time around. Does it really matter if we have 7 or 10 provinces? 

Our clowns are not really interested to empower the people. Why can't we have local elections now?  Yes, let us elect our local leaders and hold them accountable instead of the all-party mechanism gobbling all the funds. Our lives will not get any better even if we have a constitution by next week.  

What good is a constitution if it can't protect the basic rights of the common citizens? Our lawmakers will continue to break the law and engage in corruption. 

They will not be prosecuted because the anti-corruption agency will always be under the government. I think the CIAA should be only answerable to the President instead of our political parties appointing their cadres as commissioners. 

Lok Man Dai has yet to catch a big fish. Maybe he needs a better fishing net. We all know that the personal aides of our top leaders are the real dealmakers. If our CIAA wallahs can round up all of them and search for their black books then most of our top leaders would be exposed. But of course, who has the courage to take on the thieves when every other crook is corrupt?

Our incompetent government can't even clear the runway at the airport by itself. It can't even take care of the garbage in the valley. Just clearing plastic bags and other waste from the Bagmati River is not going to make it clean. We are foolish to expect the ruling clowns to show some flexibility and get the opposition wallahs on board. 

Let us not blame our stupid greedy netas who are only after power and money. It is us, the common citizens who are to be blamed for being so passive.  We all know that our good for nothing freeloaders will not come up with a constitution. 

Let us all stand together and demand local elections as soon as possible. We need our local ward chairperson, mayors and what not.  We are tired of a bunch of thieves representing our political parties at the local level stealing all the funds. 

Our government must be held accountable. If our so-called government cannot even provide us basic needs then they have no right to govern us.

Our clowns tell us that it's either make it or break it time for them. If they can come together and forge consensus then we will have the constitution soon. Well, that is wishful thinking. We are more likely to send a monkey to Mars then get a constitution from these morons. Let us all feel sorry for the monkey.