Saturday, July 15, 2017

Free Money




The Office of the President wants an additional Rs 120 million to buy vehicles to escort our President around town. I think our government wallahs think that it is better to waste our taxpayers' money rather than saving us a few Rupees. 

Earlier, our incompetent government had agreed to provide Rs 40 million but I guess that was not enough for our folks working for the President. I don't think our Madame President had any say on this matter but her personal assistants and our sarkari hakims must have done their homework well and wanted to make quick bucks on the deal. 

It seems that only netas and thulo mancheys need security in this land but we still don't know why there are so scared of the public whom they have sworn to serve. We can understand President Trump wanting an 'Iron Man' suit or a Batmobile but why does our President need more security and more vehicles than even the Desi President across the border?  It seems that our President has to worry about security more than the Chinese President or even Putin.  

North Korea is not going to nuke us anytime soon. Our President is not under threat from any internal or external enemies. The job of the President is to attend all the public functions in Tundikhel, visit foreign lands to get some fresh air and actually do nothing at all. 

Why do we need to spend hundreds of millions of Rupees on vehicles for our so-called VVIPs when our government has dozens of luxury vehicles sitting idle and even those have not been maintained in years? Why do our netas need new vehicles and waste our taxpapayers money every year?

The President's Office already has eight luxury vehicles but I guess that is not enough for our head of state. Our President should be an example to the world and go ahead and buy an electric vehicle instead. But our thulo mancheys do not think like the common folks. They are above the  law and they think that wasting taxpayers' money for their own benefit is the right thing to do. 

Our civil servants have already spent more than a billion Rupees on foreign visits in the past sixty days. More than 1,400 sarkari chors had fun going on vacation to foreign lands at the expense of our taxpayers'. 

Yes, attending conferences, workshops and training nataks in foreign lands seem like vacation to our sarkari hakims. They get daily allowances and chiya kharcha and they get to save the money and years later, when the CIAA asks them how they managed to build a mansion in the valley, they will tell the world that they saved all the 'vacation' money or wrote books that brought in millions of Rupees. 

Just ask our Director General of the Inland Revenue Department, Chudamani Dai! We all know that he managed to make millions while he offered billions of Rupees to our netas. But at the end of the day, the CIAA can only arrest our civil servants but seem to have no clue on how to go after our chor netas as well! Our former IGPs go to jail for the 'Sudan Scam' and pay only a few thousand Rupees fine as well while our netas who made millions from the deal do not need to worry about going to jail at all. 

Our government had earlier attempted to discourage such foreign vacation packages but I guess nobody can tame our corrupt civil servants. After all, our netas need our sarkai chors because when it comes to promotions and lucrative transfers, our civil servants do offer boras of cash to our clowns. That's how our system works and not much has changed in the past three decades. 

It seems that we, the people have no choice but put up with the nataks of our netas and sarkari hakims. Every year, landslides and floods kill hundreds of folks in this country and the government doesn't do anything to minimize such disasters. 

Our capital has become Dustmandu and neither our government agencies nor the contractors who are working on the roads in our valley seem to be interested to minimize the problems faced by the people. After all, our netas drive around in luxury vehicle with their windows closed while we, the people have to use public transportation and breathe in all the fumes and dust!

And in the last month of the fiscal year, our government agencies go on a spending spree, making sure they spend billions of Rupees and it seems that we cannot hold any of our civil servants and netas accountable. 

It seems that we, the people have given up and our civil society leaders have all disappeared ever since Gyanu Uncle left the building. It seems that we, the people participated in peoples' movement to topple the Panchayati system and then the 'House of Shah' only to be ruled by mini-maharajas and their courtiers.  
Every year, our incompetent government fails to spend even half of the capital budget and nobody seems to care. 

How can our chors who do not even follow democratic principles in their own parties teach us all about democracy? 

How can our buffoons who do not want to give any opportunity to women, minorities and youth leaders in their own parties teach us about inclusiveness? 

How can our clowns who only want kickbacks from contractors, civil servants, fake-VAT bill bayaparis and other con artists teach us about open and transparent society?  

It seems that economic progress for our netas is about making as much money for themselves while stealing from our national coffer and the people while the country goes broke!


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Deuba Strikes Back!




First of all, let us all congratulate Deuba for appearing on a TV show to interact with the public. It seems that Deuba has not lost his arrogance at all. After all, he is our Maharaja from Dadeldhura. 

Who cares if he was once fired by Gyanu Uncle and even sent to jail for corruption? Gyanu Uncle has already left the palace and he is no longer Lord Vishnu! So, I guess it doesn't count and this is the man who wants to impeach the Chief Justice because he can't have his way. 

Who cares if he started the culture of  buying our lawmakers, showering them with gifts, cash and tax-free vehicles and even vacations to foreign lands? Our politicians all huddle up in dark rooms in resorts, sip their raksi and make deals left and right to share power and enjoy the loot!

Who cares if his brother-in-law made a bundle when we bought arms from bideshis to fight our rebels? We all know that near and dear ones of our politicians make tons of money when their folks are in power! 

Even our Emperor was not ashamed to share power with the same man who once put a price on his head and is now hell-bent on making sure that his daughter becomes the Mayor! If a game of football was like Nepali politics then you would call it match-fixing and it would be a crime. 

Nepal Police once arrested our footballers for match-fixing and wanted to charge them with treason. How come no one wants to arrest our politicians for treason when they have all joined hands to take this country down the drain?

Deuba should not only keep his astrologers by his side but also hire PR folks and even a coach to learn how to speak to the common folks. At least Gyanu Uncle would nod his head and say 'yes'. KP Oli dreamt about gas pipelines and what not and at least showed us that you have every right to dream big even if you are out of touch with reality. 

Our Emperor tells us that even if his party failed to create any dhamaka in the local elections, the whole country has won because he managed to conduct the first phase of the local elections. And it helps when you have already made billions of Rupees on the side as well. Our Emperor and his family can live like Kings for another century while the comrades who fought for him and his party have nothing.

Deuba thinks that we, the people are beneath him and he doesn't have to be polite and  even try to answer the questions like a politician. He acts like a bully and he doesn't care what the world thinks of him either. He is our Prime Monster.

He doesn't have Gyanu Uncle to fire him again. He doesn't have to answer to the people because he knows that as long as he makes our Constipated Assembly (CA) members happy, they will support him to make billions of Rupees while he doles out millions to our lawbreakers!

Deuba is right when he tells us that he can't bring Oxford University to Nepal. Yes, we should be happy with our Tribhuvan University here. Just because you went to a good school and got good grades doesn't make you a good politician. Just because you are filthy rich doesn't make you a great world leader. 

But here in Nepal, we think the clowns who can spew venom and attack their opponents with gaalis and jokes make great politicians. Maybe, it's time our real comedians joined politics and give our real politicians a run for their money!

Deuba seems to think he is still an angry young man. He is still angry but is now a senior citizen. He promises our senior citizens that he will double their allowances. If our politicians stopped asking for kickbacks from civil servants, contractors and other con artists, then our country would have enough funds to even provide allowances for the unemployed youth as well. 

But here, a few thousand of corrupt hakim sahebs, netas and byaparis run the country like their private country club. We, the people are not welcomed at all. We are here to serve them, be exploited by them and have to pay chiya kharcha everywhere just to get the basic services which are supposed to be free and entitled as being citizens of this country. 

Deuba and his fellow crooks all behave not with humility but with pride for being corrupt and  think that humiliating the public will give a boost to their ego. It seems that our politicians think that this country owes them everything while they owe us nothing. 

We should not stop reminding them that the luxury vehicles they drive around in, the security personnel surrounding them, the fuel and maintenance expenses and even house rent and other perks provided to these chors are paid for by the people of this land and not our chimekis or their agents!

The Nepali Kangaroos should be ashamed that Deuba continues to lead their party and even becomes a Prime Minister for the fourth time. It's time the young folks in the grand old party of this land come together and revolt against the old fogies who don't want to let go. 

It's time all the youth leaders of our political parties work together to throw the same corrupt bunch of thieves out of their own parties.  When we still have people like Deuba around to lead us to hell, then there is no point of whining and bitching about bideshis interfering in our politics! 

The Amrikis have Trump. We have Deuba. Both seem to suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. At least Deuba doesn't consider the media his enemy. Instead of visiting India and China, our King Deuba should first visit the United States of Amrika and meet with Trump. And Deuba should learn how to counter the Trump handshake and even do better than Modi's bear hug. Maybe, a simple Namaste would do!


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com