Saturday, March 17, 2018

Oli's First Month!

It's been a month since Oli became our Prime Monster for the second time and so far, not much has happened in Baluwatar except meeting his fellow cadres and figuring out how to move forward. And we didn’t know that the Pakistanis were great friends with Oli because we were all surprised when the Pakistani Prime Minister decided to visit our country.  

Most of the time, our new PM either visits  India or China depending on their political affiliation. The Kangaroos choose India for the samosas where our comrades want to try some dim sum in Beijing.

Modi is more than likely to become the Desi PM for the second time. And Uncle Xi is now the President for Life in China. And Oli has the numbers to be the Maharaja but of course, our politicians will need more than boras of cash, tax free vehicles and many more to change our constitution and have one person running the show again but we will have live with the fact that a dozen mini-Maharajas will continue to have fun in this land for decades to come!

It seems that the Chinese communists really don’t' care much for our comrades.  If they did then Uncle Xi would at least visit Nepal because he has been running the show for more than half a decade in China and while our Prime Monsters have visited Beijing, we have yet to get their thulo mancheys to visit Kathmandu. 

The last time , we had someone from there was back in 2012 when Uncle Wen was in town and our incompetent government decided to shut down the capital instead of asking us to welcome the Chinese Premier.

We expected Oli to come up with a new project for Nepal every other day but it seems that he just wants to take it slow for now.  When he was our PM the last time around, he had promised us to fit gas lines in our homes and we are still waiting for big cargo ships on our rivers. This time around, we expect more from Oli. Let us send our people to Mars. If we can send all of our politicians then that would be much better!

Well, things do move slow in this land of ours and we might finally get a full cabinet this week after our comrades finally figure out whom to select to become our mantris. Let us not blame Oli and Prachanda for not being able to even get started with a full cabinet for a month. After all, our federal government will not have a jumbo cabinet like before.

And most of our politicians do want to become mantris because they have to ensure a better future for their families. After all, most of our politicians get into politics not to serve the country and its citizens but to serve con artists, cadres and their cousins.

Oli has the backing of two-third majority in the House and Madame Bhandari is once again our President. It looks like Nanda dai will be our VP again. It would have been nice if we had a female Speaker but it seems like Mahara just wants to try his hand at everything. 

One day, don't be surprised if Prachanda asks Mahara to move to Baluwatar as well. I think Mahara is probably the luckiest of all the Meowists out there. And it’s about time our Emperor sent new faces to the cabinet instead of the same old comrades who have already made lots of money for themselves and the party. Yes, give new people the chance to make some money as well instead of just making sure that the same dozen folks get to be mantris again and again.

Oli tells us that he will not engage in corruption and will not allow anyone to make a quick buck as well. Well, all of our politicians tell us that they are against corruption but then most of them misuse their authority to take bribes and waste our taxpayers money on vehicles, security and other chiya kharcha. 

I think it's about time our politicians stopped promising us stuff that they can't fulfill. We all know that our system is corrupt from top to bottom and no one has dared to reform the system that has been in place since the days of the Pancheys.

If we had honest folks like Dr KC leading this country then we could believe that we will have a corruption-free country but we have false prophets leading us to doom. 

Our politicians are wolves in sheeps' clothing and we willingly vote for them hoping for a better tomorrow even though we know very well that only they get to have the fun while most of our folks work in the sun in the Middle East.

Our thulo mancheys are all corrupt. Nepotism rules in this land. Integrity is for losers while those who run the show suck us dry till there is nothing left. Modi and Xi may not be perfect but they have a plan to take their respective countries to greater height. What do our netas have? Nothing except a plan to share the loot among themselves while the country goes broke!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Madame President

Madame Biyda Devi Bhandari will once again become our President. Yes, our comrades have decided to stick with Bhandari and Pun as candidates for our President and Vice President and they are more than likely to win the election for their respective offices. 

After all, our comrades have most of the votes!  Some of our comrades are not happy with Oli acting like a Maharaja when it comes to making most of the decisions in his party. 

But it’s his show for now and please give the man a chance to lead us to somewhere. Oli is right when he tells us that having Madame Bhandari and Pun Dai from the Meowists for the same positions will save our taxpayers' some money as we don't need to spend millions more for finding new accommodation, vehicles and other chiya kharcha if they moved out. 

That's true but they will move out in five years and we will have to spend millions anyways but saving a few Rupees for now is much better than wasting more. 

The Congressis have also fielded a woman candidate for President as well. It would have been nice gesture if our comrades had decided to support a candidate from the opposition for the office of President but it seems that Madame Bhandari wants to remain in office and enjoy the perks. And we can't blame her. After all, her decision to invite families of Prachanda and other comrades for dinner a while ago must have worked on her behalf.

Jhala Natha Baba wanted to be the President but it seems that Oli and his courtiers have more say in the party than other former Prime Monsters like Jhallu and MaKuNe Dai!  Well, let us not feel sorry for Jhallu Baba because he already gets all the perks for being our former Prime Monster.  

So what does it take to be a President in this beautiful land of ours? Nothing! Our politicians don't have any criteria except that you have to be in the right place at the right time. Dr. Yadav became our President and not Girija Babu. Then we had Madame Bhandari and we will have her for another five years as well. Maybe someday, we will have a President whom we will all look up to and embrace him or her fully and not be blinded by our party affiliation or other prejudice.

But once you become a President then you must not play politics. You must stop acting like a politician and act like a guardian instead. Your job is to make sure that our politicians are not destroying this country.  Yes, some of Oli's own party members are not happy with the decision to field the same old folks for election for the office of President and Vice President. 

Well, the Meowists get the VP and the Speaker quota while the UML gets the President. That's how power sharing works in politics. If one gets to be the Prime Monster then the other partner gets to choose the Home Minister.

After all, it’s not about working for the nation but for working hard to fill the party's coffer and their own bank accounts as well. Well, our politicians don't put their 'black' cash in bank accounts. The cash is used to buy vehicles, land, factories and other companies in the name of their far distant cousins. 

But if our media really wants to do some kind of investigative work and come up with our own 'Nepali Papers'  then all they need to do is to get hold of all the personal aides of our politicians. It's not our Prime Monsters and mantris who truly know how much they have made from kickbacks and other illegal nataks. Their personal aides (PA) carry their black books and that's where all the secret lies.

We have just celebrated Women's Day and it's a good thing that we will stick with a Madame President for now. But our politicians have failed miserably when it comes to other positions of power. Ashta Laxmi Shakya could have become our first woman Chief Minister from Province 3 but Oli and his friends decided to go with another male senior citizen instead. 

Nothing against senior citizens, but it's time our women who are active in their own respective political parties show their strength and demand that our crazy old men give women the opportunity to lead as well. 

If not then how about our women politician quit their parties and form a party of their own. We have tried the same crazy old men leading us and we have failed. Isn't it time we let our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters and girlfriends lead us to the Promised Land?

Our Madame Bhandari will continue to be the chief guest for all the programs at Tundikhel for another five years. I think she should be an example for all of us by cutting down on same old programs at Tundikhel where our government wastes millions of Rupees to watch the same old parades and display by our security agencies. 

Madame Bhandari should also cut down on expenses for the President's House as well. Please don't waste millions and millions of Rupees on new vehicles, new curtains and furniture. Instead, start a 'President's Fund' where millions of folks will receive a chiya kharcha if they meet the required criteria set by the office of President.  

It's about time our government funded programs for our artists, filmmakers, poets, writers, actors and all those involved in creative works instead of doling out funds to their own cadres who only engage in destructive works.

And it's about time the CIAA was under the authority of the President as well. Oli thinks we need a strong Prime Monster to lead us to peace and prosperity. But what this country really needs is a strong President who will act like the Class teacher and not hesitate to call out our juvenile delinquents for their bad behavior and also make sure that they are held accountable for their actions.  

The office of the President is above petty politics. And it would be nice if our Madame President also offered to host a wedding party for one lucky couple every year inside the President's House.  Now that would make her the People's President, wouldn't it?

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at