Saturday, August 29, 2015

Bam Dev Must Go!

Our dishonorable Home Minister Bam Dev seems to live in a bubble and has no clue on how to maintain law and order in this land of ours. Why do we have the most incompetent people heading our government ministries? Our politicians only know how to spew venom and blame others instead of talking less and doing more and taking responsibility for their failures.

Why do only lazy bums and con artists want to be politicians in this country? Well, because it's easy money if you do get into power and if even if you don’t, you can work out deals with the government to send some funds your way. Yes, our politicians find common ground only when they get to share the loot.

Why can’t our political parties send competent folks who can lead instead of clueless clowns who only know how to loot the state funds so that the party and its cadres enjoy the loot while the common citizens get the boot?  

It's been more than twenty five years since our clowns showed up and promised us a better future. And it seems that we will have to wait another two decades or more for peace and stability in this land.

This is not the first time that our clown is heading the Home Ministry but he seems to have other priorities like how to plan for lucrative postings and promotions of officers and then extort from them. And on top of that, find ways to get new stuff for the security personnel that they don't really need so that you can fudge the bill and pocket some commission.

When our top government positions are for sale then you can't really expect the person who paid for the post to do his or her job well. After all, the highest bidder will have to recoup his or her investment? And it's the common citizens who will pay for it.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. Yes, it's possible. I have a dog and I have taught him to lay down and act like he is having a seizure whenever he wants to get out of the house and join his local stray friends in the neighborhood.

But our old politicians don't want to learn new stuff.  The world has changed since Bam Dev first showed up in Kathmandu with a few shirts and not even a Rupee in his pocket. And like most of the politicians then, he also seems to have done much better than the rest of the country. 

While, millions of our able-bodied young folks are being exploited for a few more Dinars and Ringgits, our politicians have made millions of Rupees for themselves as they take the country down the drain.

Bam Dev thinks like a Shree Tin. He acts as if he owns this country and the citizens are nothing but nuisance. He drives around in a luxury vehicle, surrounded by armed security personnel. He is fully secured and does not have to worry about bandas. He gets freebies from the state and would rather offer more freebies to his band of thieves rather than provide security to the common citizens.

He should have been the first person to visit Tikapur. I guess our politicians are angry when mundrey gundas get killed but do not feel that pain when police personnel are lynched.Well, it took our security heads four days to finally have the courage to visit Ground Zero and take stock of the situation there.

Bam Dev tells us that the attack on security personnel was pre-planned. Then that means that our security forces failed miserably to prepare for such attacks. It was an intelligence failure and we have no one but the Home Ministry to blame.

Yes, our Home Minister, the Home Secretary and all security chiefs should apologize for not doing enough to prevent the loss of lives of our security personnel as well as the protesters. I think the top civil servants in our Home Ministry and Bam Dev as well must resign and apologize to the families of the police personnel killed in Tikapur. But of course, that's not going to happen.

Why do we need the Armed Police Force if they just want to be mute spectators while thousands of protesters surround police personnel and attack them with slingshots, spades and axes? Sending our Nepal Army to the riot zones is not the solution. 

Our Nepal Police must be better equipped with resources to prevent such incidents in the future. The role of the army is to protect us from foreign invasion. Well, we know we really can't fight our dumpling and dosa chimekis but at least protect our borders and national parks from bideshi criminals and ghaerlu poachers. But don't use the army against our own brothers and sisters. This is not just right.

If the Armed Police Force can't do their job then it's about time to disband them. Why do we have to pay their salaries so that they can protect foreign embassies, INGOs and our incompetent corrupt clowns? 

Yes, our security personnel did their best even without adequate resources to carry out the rescue works during the earthquakes. Maybe, we should just transform the Armed Police Force into a Disaster Management Force. Give them helmets and resources to help our folks during natural disasters instead.

It's not only Bam Dev but our top leaders of our political parties should take responsibility for the fire burning in Kaliali and other parts of the country. It's been weeks and our Terai area is suffering from bandas and violence. 

Our government doesn't seem to care. If you really must deploy the army, then let them protect our highways, so that there will not be shortages of essential goods in the country instead of asking them to shoot our own people.

The problem in this country is not with its people. We have been surviving so far without any help from the government regardless of shortages, load shedding, bandas and what not. It's our politicians who need such violence and nataks for their own survival. But one day, the chicken will come home to roost. 

Today, our police personnel and protesters have lost their lives so that our politicians can strike deals with each other on how to share the loot. Let us not kill each other for things that really don't matter to us. We are all brothers and sisters. We all need to learn to help each other and live peacefully together.

Our politicians are parasites, they will suck our bloods and hang us dry when their self interests are fulfilled. It's sad that a bunch of politicians can take this hostage while we the silent majority can't do nothing but only shake our heads in disbelief. 

Our politicians should be held accountable for all this mess. We used the ballots in the hopes that these leeches would do something good for this country and our politicians think they can clean up the mess with bullets. I guess it's about time to show these buffoons the door.

 Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Money, Mundreys & Martyrdom

Our political parties have shut down Terai and other parts of the country for weeks and our incompetent government seems to be least worried about it. Yes, the government doesn't care if common citizens suffer from such bandas because the government has never been there for the people. 

It only knows how to ask for chiya kharcha and treat the citizens as serfs while our civil servants and clowns think of themselves as Maharajas. The Shree Tins left the building a long time ago but I guess the Hukumi Shasan will be with us for a few more decades.

Our netas and their cadres don't have to go to work every day. They don't have to worry about paying the bills because they can always extort the local byaparis to fund their shutdown programs. After all, it's the common citizens who can't go to school, work, and run their businesses and travel. 

It’s always us who suffer the most whereas netas get to show their strength by mobilizing their cadres. And they have no shame to tell us that they are doing all this natak for the people. Yes, our political parties shut down the country so that the people can stay home and spend some quality time with their families. It seems that our political parties really do care about family values.

Our Madhesi parties think they can prolong the 'banda and burn' natak a little bit longer by promising 50 lakhs, jobs and state benefits to the families of those who are killed by the state during protest programs. Yes, all the benefits will be given to the families after our Madhesi parties take over the state government after we are done with the new constitution.  

We all know that our netas are only good at giving us false assurances. You would have to be a fool to believe that they will fulfill their promises. These buffoons are only good at using and then disposing their cadres for their own political self interest. When will our cadres learn and not be blind followers of such chors? 

I guess our protesters don't need the District Administration Offices after we have our provinces. Yes, let's burn down our government offices because we won't have to pay taxes and get our citizenship ID and passports when we have our provinces. Just visit the Chief Minister's personal aide and he or she will take care of business as long as you give him or her some chiya kharcha.  

Yes, you can get everything delivered at your home for the right price. I guess it will be much better than staying in line and running from room to room in our sarkari offices. And your chiya kharcha will go to the politician instead of the state treasury. And in a few years, we won't have any government offices because there will be no funds in the state coffer to run them. 

I think our political parties forget that when they are in power, they will be the ones who will have to build the vandalized and burned down government buildings and provide the necessary resources to civil servants. Yes, our civil servants are inefficient, lazy and rude. And we have no choice but to grind our teeth and wait for them to finish their meetings and tea breaks to receive the services we need.  

But at the end of the day, you will get your nagarikta, passport and other services that you seek if your paperwork is fine. It might take hours or even days instead of a few minutes to get the job done but your job will get done. 

We cannot burn down our government offices and burn their vehicles. Our taxpayers paid for it and we will have to pay for it again if everything gets burned down. Our government agencies are not yet fully computerized. 

Most of the documents are stored in our government offices instead of being digitized and stored in a central server. If we burn them down then it will take a while to prove that we are who we are when we go to our civil servants to seek the services we need.

Our politicians would rather divide the country further to make other chors happy. Yes, we might even get seven or eight states now but our hermit PM is not happy. Well, I guess it's just up to a dozen chors to tell us how many provinces we can have. 

We are not going to get five provinces that touch both the hills and the plains. Our protesters are not happy with six. Our PM is not happy with seven. Then, let us all go for 14 provinces and make everyone happy. Then, who knows, you and I can also be a minister of the state government someday. 

We will have a thousand local MPs and ministers and the taxpayers better pay the federal, state , local and even extortion tax to local hoodlums. So be prepared to get taxed not once, twice or thrice but as many times possible depending on who is raising the funds to shutdown the province. 

After all, there will be losers in elections and when they do not have access to the state funds, they will have no choice but to extort from the public and to do that, they will need mundrey gundas and his crew to do the dirty work.

A year ago, Nepal Police killed 'Chari' , a gangster who was also affiliated with the CPN-UML. Now, they have killed Ghaite, a gangster who was affiliated with the Nepali Congress. As usual, the police call it an encounter and tell us that they had no choice but to fire back after the gangster fired the first shot.  But politicians close to Ghaite claim that it was premeditated murder by our Nepal Police. 

Our netas use the mundrey gundas for their election campaigns. They need the mundrey gundas to extort from local byaparis and other con artists. It is our netas who have protected the mundreys and when things get out of hand, it is them who decide to finish them off.  When will our netas stop using the mundreys for their muscles and money? I guess Ghaite will also be declared a martyr soon.  

Hope someday, our netas will be able to battle it out with each other and win elections fairly based on their vision instead of using muscles and money to sit on the kurchi to loot us all. Our prayers are with Ghaite's family. Don’t blame the police. Blame the politicians who used his muscles and money and will now forget him and groom another mundrey to do the dirty work again. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at