Saturday, January 7, 2017

Please Dispose of Trash Properly!




Somebody should remind our Urban Development Minister Arjun uncle that it is not right to chew tobacco inside the House and then spit it out on your hands and then dispose it by throwing it under the chair. 

First of all, chewing tobacco is bad for one's health. I think our Health Minister Gagan Thapa should kindly request his father-in-law to quit such bad habit. Yes, print out all the negative effects of chewing tobacco from the net and submit it Arjun uncle! 

But of course, our netas do not have the habit of looking at important files that matter. He will probably dispose it under the table or out the window whichever he finds convenient.

Second, if you have to dispose the tobacco, it is much better to use a handkerchief or a napkin to collect your mess and find the nearest trash can to dispose the stuff.  But then who wants to stain one's handkerchief because it must have earlier been used to wipe one's nose. And to walk around to find the nearest trash can is a waste of time for our netas who are busy figuring out how to divide this country and destroy our social harmony. 

I hope Arjun uncle has not set a bad example to the rest of the clowns in the House because one day, some other jerk might just use a water bottle to finish his business because he is just too lazy to walk to the nearest restroom. 

I think our government should provide at least one trash can and a box of napkins to each Consitpated Assembly (CA) members when they are inside the House. And don't forget to bolt the trash can and the napkin holders as well or our lawmakers might take them home and ask for another every other day. 

Yes, our lawmakers think that they are entitled to many gift hampers from the State and only find common ground when it's time to raise their paychecks and perks.

It seems that our  netas maybe great at giving speeches that go nowhere but fail miserably when it comes to social etiquettes.  In other countries, the politician would apologize for such juvenile act and even disappear from the political scene but in our beautiful land, our netas are not ashamed of anything. 

We should not be so harsh on Arjun uncle. He didn't break any chairs, sofa or tables like some of our other wrestlers turned lawmakers. But improper disposal of trash leads to pollution, foul odor and what not.  If you see a guy who is walking around chewing tobacco and spitting the mess out on the street, you can no longer scold him for doing such natak. He might just tell you that if a minister can do it then why can't he?

Our netas are not role models.  Nobody dreams of becoming a  Oli, Prachanda or Deuba (OPD). If you find a person who dreams of becoming like the current clowns we have then he can't be treated at the out-patient department of Teaching Hospital. 

He needs help from a psychiatrist and such person should be provided counseling and care at a mental health institute for years so that he can turn out to be a hardworking, honest citizen of this land instead of being a lazy bum who only dream of looting the state treasury and the people as well.

Let us all thank our United Mundrey Leaders (UML) and our other opposition wallahs for organizing motorcycle rallies and disturbing the capital on a Friday by their nataks. 

It seems that our political parties when out of power need to show their strength to the ruling clowns by disrupting traffic and making our lives miserable by their bandas and chakka jams! And then they tell us that they are doing it all for the people and we must all celebrate their nataks as it is a historic moment for the country. 

When our political parties are in power, they do nothing except figure out how to promote their own mancheys and extort from everyone. When they are out of power, they take to the streets and blame the ruling clowns for doing the same thing they did when they had the kurchi!

The day will be historic when we all stand up and tell our netas that we are all tired of the bandas, chakka jams and their effort to bring our life to a standstill by creating chaos in our neighborhood. We must find a way to round up the trash that is taking our country down the drain and dispose it properly so that we can have our country back! 


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Saturday, December 31, 2016

United States of Nepal




Our corrupt and incompetent government tells us that we are a 'New Nepal' where Kings don't rule anymore. Yes, that’s true. Gyanu Uncle is no longer getting 60 karods from the state but he still gets a few dozen security folks. But we now have to deal with hundreds of mini-Maharajas and thousands of their courtiers. 

Where did we go wrong? Our political parties take the credit for ending the rule of House of Shah but it was us the people, who took to the streets to tell Gyanu Uncle that he had to move on. 

We have no choice but to believe in our political parties and hope that one day they will change for good and work together to build a peaceful and prosperous Nepal. 

But so far, our buffoons have been busy dividing us over ethnicity and provinces and what not. And yes, our clowns and those in power have been prosperous and continue to enjoy full security that would even shame the President of the United States! 

Our civil servants are the same. They have not even changed a bit since we became a Republic. Instead, our clowns, civil servants, contractors and con artists are busy ripping off the public. Our security forces are still corrupt and are paid from our tax money to boot and shoot the people while protecting the politicians from the common folks!

We do not want a totalitarian regime again but it looks like our politicians will do their best to make sure that we, the people get the least amount of opportunities, resources and basic services from the state. But those  in power, those who are out of power and those who have been to jail for corruption continue to receive vehicles, security and chiya kharcha and even hard cold cash from the state. 

We have been fooled again and again by our politicians and unless we take to the streets again to kick out the mini-maharajas as well, not much will change in this beautiful land of ours. 

Is it the air we breathe or the dhulo mulo or the water we drink that makes our thulo mancheys corrupt and we the people happily pay them chiya kharcha to get our job done?  

This country has been a mess since Prithivi Narayan Shah began his 'united states of Nepal' mission. He did a fine job then but after that it was all downhill for this country and so far we have yet to climb up ever since. 

And let us thank our politicians for working day and night to take us back to the pre-unification days. I think our historians should take out the old rusty books from somewhere in the country and help our politicians and civil servants figure out how we can have like 50 states in the country again.

Yes, let us be the 'United States of Nepal'. Then we can also tell the rest of the world that we come from the US. Let us change the color of our passport from green to blue so that when we, the people who have ordinary passports stand in line in front of the immigration officers in foreign lands, we will get the same respect as the Amrikans. 

Let us even get rid of the so-called 'Westminster' system of parliamentary government and go with the 'Amriki Presidential' natak. 

It is only then possible for 'Dhurmus' to lead us all out of this mess and make this country great! If we continue to stick to the current natak, we will just have a bunch of political parties sharing the power and the loot!

Let us have only two political parties instead of hundreds. All the communists should unite and be a single party. But please change the name. We all know that our communists are not real communists like the ones they claim to be. 

They are all fake like the Marlboros and Amriki dollars made in North Korea! And our Congressis and other political parties are not social democrats like they claim to be. They are all chors and they lack morals, integrity and character and are driven by their self-interests. 

We started the year with the blockade and we will end it with our own mini-blockade in the capital where most of our roads have been dug up. Somebody needs to tell our government that it is better to finish one road at a time instead of making it look like we are preparing for trench warfare with an invisible enemy. 

Maybe Baidya Ba can ask his cadres to get as much practice as possible in the dug up roads in the valley to prepare them for their great dream to invade India.

We had comedian Oli as our Prime Monster in the beginning of the year and we will end it with our Emperor once again living in Baluwatar and doing nothing. Time Magazine has its 'Person of the Year' natak where a person, group or even an object gets to be on the cover. 

Trump is that person man this year because for the first time in Amriki history, a man without any political or military experience has been elected the President of the United States. 

I think we should have our own 'Person of the Year' thing in Nepal. Yes, Ghising should be honored for his role in ending load shedding in the valley and Dr KC is a warrior fighting the medical mafia and the crooked politicians but Nepal's Person of the Year is our own Dhurmus and Suntali. They have shown us that it is possible that even without the help from the government, it is possible to rebuild the homes, lives and dreams of the people. Long Live Dhurmus and Suntali! 



Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com