Saturday, May 30, 2015

Rotten Republic




First of all, let us all thank our incompetent government for deciding not to celebrate Repubilc Day this year with the usual natak. Yes, save a few Rupees of our taxpayers' money and use the money to help the families affected by the earthquakes. 

I think it would be better if our corrupt clowns and  lazy civil servants spent their time helping the needy families during public holidays instead of organizing the usual flower-showering nataks by our Nepal Army helicopters. 

Use our security personnel and resources to help the common citizens. We are tired of the nataks at Tundikhel during such government functions. It would be better if we just had a day off on Nepali New Year instead of celebrating every peoples' movement. 

Let us stop celebrating the time when the Shree Tins left the building. I think it is better to demolish all the old palaces that house our government ministries and offices. These buildings are past their age limit. 

Some folks tell us that Singha Durbar should be preserved. Do we need to be reminded everyday that our Shree Tins had all the fun and they built such lavish palaces for their own family while the rest of the folks were living in huts and wearing ragged clothes?

It's time our incompetent government built their offices using our own resources instead of thinking of ways to skim off billions of Rupees in the name of reconstruction. Why do we need to celebrate 'Loktantra Diwas' just to be reminded that Gyanu Uncle was once our King and it took us 19 days to make him aware that his time to have fun was over. 

Yes, we must not forget our history but let us move forward and build a new Nepal. We have been celebrating 'Republic Day' for the past eight years. Our corrupt clowns, civil servants, contractors and cadres have been ripping off the public since then.  The common citizens have never been provided neither resources nor opportunities to better their lives. 

The clowns have changed since the 50s but the inefficient corrupt system remains the same. The families of our clowns and civil servants have been having all the fun so far. The common citizens have been fooled and will continue to be exploited until the current crop of jackasses leave the building. Give our young leaders a chance. 

And now, our comedian, KP Oli who was lucky enough to climb Dharahara while it was still around tells us that our country needs a national unity government to overcome the challenges we face.

Oli wants to be our Prime Monster real bad. He has been dreaming of it since he became the chairperson of the 'United Mundrey Leaders' party last year. Yes, Jhallu Baba has tasted the organic vegetables at Baluwatar and so has our MaKuNe uncle. Now, it's time for Oli, the guy with the Goli jasto Boli to have fun in Baluwatar. 

Let us all feel sorry for Sushil Da that he will soon have to leave Baluwatar for Banaras and be a hermit. But the good thing is he will probably leave with an expensive smartphone instead of the old useless three mobile sets that he currently posses.

Oli thinks it's the right time to form a consensus government so that he can offer opposition wallahs a few ministries and they can all work together to enjoy the loot. Yes, it will cost us billions of Dollars not Rupees to bring this country back on track. And what better way to distribute the fund meant for the needy amongst the clowns than a national unity government.

Is the national unity government (NUG) really necessary to write the new constitution and help to rebuild the country? Nope. But Oli thinks the current government is too slow and if he gets the chance then we should all be prepared to witness a very active and dynamic government. Yes, Oli has already shown us that he is active and can climb Dharahara like anybody else. It's sad that we don't have Dharahara anymore. Our corporate houses and even government agencies have pledged to build a better Dharahara.

I think our Kathmandu Metropolitan City (KMC) wallahs and the private contractor Sidewalkers should first pay compensation to the families of those who lost their lives when the tower collapsed during the Big One. These two made millions of Rupees from ticket fees from common folks and they are getting away without paying a paisa back to the families of the victims. Maybe Oli can do something about it after he becomes our Prime Monster.

It's been a month since the Big One struck and our incompetent government has yet to provide relief materials and even the so-called cash for temporary shelters for the affected families. Once the monsoon begins, our villagers will suffer more due to landslides, floods and other natural disasters. Our government will do everything they can to do nothing at all. It's been the same story every year. Hundreds lose their lives, thousands of families are displaced by the floods and landslides. 

Our incompetent government will not learn. Instead of thinking of forming a national unity government to loot us all, just establish a Ministry for management of natural disasters or disaster preparedness and resilience or just name it whatever you want but just be prepared. I think it would have been better if our so-called leaders grew up as Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. At least they would have followed the motto of  being prepared. 

Our clowns are only prepared to sit on the kurchi and make billions of Rupees in kickbacks and commissions. But when the country and its people are suffering, our clowns have failed to rise up above petty politics and instead want to loot more in the name of the people. Let our good for nothing freeloaders have all the fun. It's up to us to assist our brothers and sisters and help them rebuild their lives.


Saturday, May 23, 2015

Hammers & Helmets




Our incompetent government just can't seem to get anything right. Hundreds of thousands of folks have yet to receive tents while our government has already moved on and now want to provide Rs 15,000 for each affected family so that they can buy zinc sheets to build temporary shelters.

Cash is not everything. Even if you have a bora of cash, what good is it if you can't buy the stuff you need? Our lazy civil servants very well know that they can't buy or even import enough zinc sheets to help the affected families. 

They want the easy way out by providing Rs 15,000 and we all know that it will take months before the affected families receive the money. Most of the funds will be distributed not to those in need but the near and dear ones of our local leaders in the affected areas.

Monsoon will be here in a few weeks and our government does not seem to be in a hurry to help the affected families to build temporary shelters to protect themselves from the rain. 

Our politicians and civil servants are never in a hurry to do good for the country and its citizens. But they are always in a hurry to get from one part of the city to another with sirens blazing and armed security personnel waving at us to either stop or give way to the speeding vehicles of our corrupt and inefficient politicians. 

Yes, our politicians are always in a hurry to get to meeting where they will decide how to loot the state treasury and make the lives of the loved ones better while the affected families will get a few Rupees and nothing more.

Our inefficient government failed to provide enough tents to the affected families. We hear that our government has already received half a million tents. I guess those tents will be out in the market soon and our byaparis and bureaucrats can make some dough while our buffoons will get a piece of the cut as well.

Our politicians visit their constituencies and promise our brothers and sisters the moon during election times. Now, when they need help, our politicians offer nothing but yet another promise to help them rebuild. 

Our political parties are busy hosting press conferences to tell us that they will mobilize their cadres to help those in need. We all know that it is just another of their empty promises which will never be fulfilled.

Our comrades seem to be competing with each other on how to come up with outlandish gimmicks. Comedian Oli plans to mobilize thousands of his cadres to help the most affected districts. Our Emperor doesn't want to be left behind. He has also promised that his comrades will go out there and help rebuild homes, schools and whatever they think they can rebuild.

Our comrades invite the media to listen to their hawa-tari promises and do photo-ops with helmets and hammers. We all know that they will ask the government to provide the funds to their cadres in their so-called 'rebuilding project'. The top leaders will make millions while the cadres will get some chiya kharcha. 

If our political parties are really pumped up to help the affected families then they should not focus only on their cadres but call upon able citizens to help as well. Ask the government to form a 'national volunteer campaign committee' and mobilize able citizens to the affected areas to work with our security personnel, engineers and other relief workers.

Our political parties think they will earn some goodwill and win the hearts and minds of the common folks. They are wrong. If you really want to help then mobilize your cadres to cross the border and buy zinc sheets with your own party funds and then distribute it to the affected families in remote areas. 

Do not cook up schemes in the name of rebuilding with the only intent to somehow to get hold of the funds meant for the needy for your own party leaders. The cadres may have good intentions but the leaders only want to use them for their self-interest. 

It's about time our cadres open their eyes and see the true colors of the venom-spewing reptiles. Help the affected families as a citizen of this country. Work with other brothers and sisters as a Nepali not in the name of a useless political party. 

Do it for the country and its citizens. Do not be the pawn of our corrupt clowns. These clowns will use you and dispose you when you are no longer beneficial to them.

If you really want to help then help the lazy bums at our district administration offices to collect information about the affected families and their homes. Help the government to provide the funds to the real victims. Make sure that our civil servants are doing the right job. Help them to be transparent and efficient when distributing the funds to the needy families. Do not misuse the funds for yourself and chamchas.

We all know that we can get on the right track if our political parties work together and help our civil servants to effectively mobilize the funds and materials for the affected families.  But our politicians simply lack the political will to get things done. 

We all know that they have had enough of wine and dine. Now, it's about time we do something to straighten their spine. Let us support each other and not be a bystander when cadres beat up a person for exercising his freedom of speech. It seems that common citizens are the enemy of our angry savages while they follow their corrupt clowns with blind zeal.

Let's hope our politicians and their cadres will not use the helmets and hammers as mementos in their living room for the work they will never do. It's good to hear that our Emperor wants to mobilize his 'Peace' army to help our brothers and sisters. 

Let us all hope that they will do a good job instead of the top leaders asking for a piece of the rebuilding funds to rebuild their own homes and fatten their bank accounts.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Tents for our Troublemakers




Our Constipated Assembly (CA) members demanded tents for temporary shelter after the second Big One that hit us on Tuesday. We already knew that our good for nothing freeloaders were incompetent, corrupt and greedy band of thieves but such demands have shown us how low they can stoop to collect freebies for themselves.

We are paying our clowns to write a constitution and so far, they have come up with nothing but the usual fighting over how many provinces or what kind of governance we need. And the earthquakes have now probably postponed any talks on how to move forward to deliver us a constitution by at least a year.

Our incompetent government has not been able to provide adequate tents or other relief materials to the affected districts but yet they decided to provide tents to all our troublemakers.

After our media wallahs reported the story, many freeloaders decided to return the tents but there are still others who would rather take any freebies from the government instead of visiting their constituencies and help in the relief and rescue works.

It's just sad that our idiots were seen smiling as they grabbed their tents and walked out of the CA building. Why not provide them with boras of rice, dal and packets of Wai Wai as well? After all, we need to provide gaas, baas and kapaas to these slimy bastards? Yes, take all the good tents sent by the bideshis and give it to our jackals. 

Our Finance Minister tells us that our government has received tuna and mayonnaise  and such stuff are no good for us. I guess somebody needs to tell our Rammy brother that when somebody gives you lemons then you make lemonade not whine and cry like a buffoon. If they gave us tuna and mayo then our government should provide breads so that folks can make tuna sandwiches. 

I guess our incompetent clowns just wanted hard cold cash instead of tents, medicines and food packets. After all, they can't sell these stuff and make a killing. If our government received tons of cash then they can pay off their cadres, cousins and contractors in the name of rebuilding and rehabilitation of the affected districts.

Our great veteran tennis player, Kamal Thapa announced that his party will not use the tents provided by the government. At least we have someone who doesn't want tents meant for the earthquake victims. But Kamal dai should take inspiration from his so-called 'chariot' race all over the country to bring 'Hindu' back. 

Why not carry our another 'Rath-Yatra' this time and mobilize your cadres to build temporary shelters and even cook food for the affected families. If the Sikhs can come to our country and help out to serve hot meals to our folks then why can't our political parties perform such acts of kindness to help our own brothers and sisters?

Many of our folks in the villages have already started to build temporary shelters by themselves with whatever resources they have. Our great comedian, KP Oli , who was lucky enough to climb Daharara before it crumbled down tells us that we need 2 million corrugated sheets for our affected families. 

And his party, CPN-UML plans to mobilize 200,000 cadres to help rebuild the homes across the country. It all sounds good but the reality is that each cadre would want at least ten sheets and it will probably be used to build garages or even add another room for their own homes instead of going to common folks.

What our brothers and sisters need are competent engineers who can help to rebuild their homes not incompetent evil-doers who only know how to loot the funds meant for the earthquake victims. 

We know that our government does not have adequate resources or manpower to rebuild our country from such catastrophe but they don't want bideshis to provide any other help except cash.

Why not give the Chinese the opportunity to rebuild Sindupalchowk and Dolakha? And of course, if we do that then our Desi chimekis want to compete with the Chinese. I guess Modi and his fellow brothers and sisters can help out in Gorkha. Our chimekis can assist our security personnel to carry out relief and rebuilding works in the most affected regions. 

Our government can call upon our young and the willing to help out as well. But of course, our incompetent jackasses don't want any bideshi help or even the help from our own brothers and sisters. All our government can think of right now is not how to help rebuild but how to come up with dirty schemes to distribute the relief funds amongst themselves and other political parties. 

Our politicians have failed us and they are not going to do anything to ask the government to carry out rebuilding efforts as soon as possible because they are fighting amongst themselves on how to loot the funds. 

Our security personnel have done a great job even with limited resources and yet our government wants to deduct from their pay for the PM's relief fund. This is not acceptable. Our men and women in the Nepal Police, Armed Police Force and the Nepal Army are carrying out relief works even though many of their homes and families have been affected and this is not how we repay their great deeds. 

Give them extra allowances and help rebuild their homes instead of squeezing the salaries of low-level security personnel. Our hakim sahebs and politicians should donate their salaries for a year to the PM's relief fund instead. 

After all, these blood sucking parasites do not need the monthly paycheck to run their households. They make enough from all the bribes and other dirty deals with byaparis and contractors.

Let us all hope that we will all be safe and take precautions when we experience more aftershocks. Let us all help each other out and help a family to rebuild their homes. Let us not depend on our incompetent and corrupt government and political parties. 

We are Nepalis and we love our country. Our politicians and hakim sahebs are also Nepalis but they are traitors who have no love for our country and the common citizens. The future will judge them and decide what's best for them.


Saturday, May 9, 2015

POS (Piece of S***)




Our great three stooges took a helicopter ride to visit our brothers and sisters whose homes and families were lost in the earthquake. Prachanda, Oli and Sushil Da also known as the POS gang want to show us that our politicians are united in their effort to help our common folks. 

But in reality, our great clowns are only interested to figure out how to divide the relief materials and cash amongst themselves. 

We all know that our politicians and political parties are united only when they get to share the loot or boot the previous government out of power. They are united in their effort to engage in corruption not construction. 

I think constitution-writing process will take a back seat for another year while our political parties will fight with each other over who gets how much relief materials and cash for the affected areas. The aid will not reach the affected families but instead will be given to their own cadres and cousins. 

Yes, it's time to rebuild the affected areas but our Constipated Assembly (CA) members are not the ones who have to be out there helping the needy ones. Our security personnel, civil servants and volunteers can do their work while our politicians should do theirs. 

We are paying their salaries so that they can deliver us a constitution. Stick to it and end the political deadlock.  Stop daydreaming about how much foreign donors will give and how much you can make from kickbacks from contractors who will be working in the reconstruction projects.

Sushil Da, our hermit PM was somewhere up in the sky when the big one hit us all. Our Emperor, Prachanda was having guff suff with Baidya Ba and friends while Oli was busy meeting with civil servants at his home. 

Yes, we were all somewhere. We are the lucky ones and we should not forget those who have lost their homes and families. Even our President had to live in a tent for a few days. Yes, let us all feel sorry for our big losers while hundreds of thousands of folks are still out in the open without any shelter. 

It took our clowns more than a week to come out from hibernation and have the courage to visit the affected areas. Our brothers and sisters who have lost everything do not want to see politicians visiting them and giving them false assurances. They want tents, blankets, food and water.  

If you cannot provide the relief materials to all affected areas then don't waste our taxpayers money and patience by telling us that all affected areas will receive all the help soon.

Our incompetent government makes excuses about how remote our villages are and how difficult it is to carry out rescue and relief works in such areas. They should have done their homework. 

Well, they didn't and our villagers are suffering. I think we should all pitch in and buy helicopters for our Nepal Army so that those helicopters can be used to carry out rescue and relief works during disasters instead of flying so-called VVIPs around the country. 

Our clowns should not waste our taxpayers money on chopper rides. Use our choppers to deliver relief materials instead of taking our corrupt clowns on visits to the affected areas. 

Send our security personnel on those choppers instead of our good for nothing politicians. I think it is best if our freeloaders stayed home and plan for the next big scheme on how to loot the state treasury instead of acting like they do care about common citizens.

Sushil Da is a poor man. He has only three mobile phones and one of them doesn't work. But his cronies and cousins do have fun. Our Emperor is probably one of the richest man in town while Oli makes his usual share and he has lots of mundreys under his wing.  

But none of our stooges want to spend their ill-gotten wealth to help the needy. They want foreign aid and use our taxpayers money to help themselves and their cadres.

Yes, we will need billions of dollars for rehabilitation and reconstruction of the affected areas. Our clowns and contractors must be busy making plans on how to carry out half-baked works and pocket the rest of the funds for themselves. Our opposition wallahs want an all-party mechanism to carry out distribution of relief materials as well as have a role in reconstruction and rehabilitation. 

So far, our all-party mechanism has done nothing but loot the state funds for development projects in our villages. Now, all of our local parasites do want a share of tents, blankets and food not to help the needy ones but to help their own cadres and cousins. Later, they would want building materials and stuff not to help those whose homes have been damaged but to add rooms to their own homes. 

Our rich corporate houses are now announcing millions of Rupees in aid and have promised to build thousands of homes for the affected families. Our NRNs are doing the same and even Sujata auntie wants to help our villages. Let us hope that they will keep their promises. We will know that in a year. 

If we really want to build better homes and infrastructure in the affected areas then it is best to let the bideshis to carry out the reconstruction works. I think Nepal Army should head the reconstruction works with the help from the bideshis instead of handing out the works to local contractors. 

We all know that our contractors will then have to pay off the local clowns. The local clowns will then have to channel the kickbacks to the top clowns in the capital. 

Let us ask our young who want to go abroad to the Middle East to make a few dinars more to stay home and work in the reconstruction projects. Our young can work in building homes and schools and get the same pay as they would if they went to the East.  

But of course, our politicians do not care for the young or the old. All they see now is a golden opportunity to make more dough by misusing the funds meant for the needy ones. Yes, it is time for all of us to come together to help rebuild this country. 

We, the common citizens are united to help our beautiful land but our politicians are united no to help us but to help themselves.


(image source: dainiknepal.com)

Saturday, May 2, 2015

We Are One



First of all, let us all pray for the victims and their families who have suffered so much due to the big earthquake that hit us last Saturday.  My immediate family is safe but I lost my cousin in Kathmandu. 

Thousands have lost their loved ones as well and many have suffered injuries. At this hour, we must all be strong and if able then reach out and help our communities near and far.

The catastrophic earthquake has shaken us all but we, the common folks have gathered collective strength to help each other and support the rescue and relief works. We, the people are the true face of Nepal. Our politicians and big hakim sahebs are not. 

We, the people are one and united while our corrupt clowns have shown their true colors. Our chors are not only corrupt and incompetent but lack empathy and compassion as well.

We must thank our security personnel especially the Nepal Army and Armed Police Force for working round the clock in rescue and relief efforts. Our Nepal Police are doing their best as well but seem to be the least prepared and the most ill-equipped to carry out disaster relief works.

The last big one came in 1934.  Successive governments failed to act and never prepared for the next one. During the last few years, many NGOs and INGOs were conducting awareness programs but our government did not think preparing for such natural disasters needed top priority. Let us hope that our government has learned a big lesson and will plan accordingly in the future.

We have known all along that our government is incompetent, corrupt and has resources only to collect taxes and then use it to fill the bellies of our clowns, civil servants, contractors and cadres. 

Our incompetent government takes quick decision when it comes to approving release of funds for treatment of our politicians. Air ambulances arrive in an hour and ferry our clowns abroad. But when it comes to its own citizens, our corrupt government stands still and does nothing.

Most of us are safe and so are our families. Thousands have died where as hundreds of thousands of homes have been destroyed and our brothers and sisters in villages near and far from Kathmandu have yet to receive and relief materials. What is needed the most right now are tents, blankets and clean drinking water.  And what does our government do? Nothing!

We must salute our security personnel and common citizens who are doing what they can to reach out to the affected families. The victims need not only physical support but emotional support as well. The government has failed to provide either. It has failed miserably and is busy defending itself for its own inaction due to its inability to coordinate resources to help the rescue works and distribute relief materials.

We, the people are using our own hard-earned savings to buy relief materials and distribute them to the needy while our government is refusing to release tents, medical supplies and other relief materials stuck at our international airport.

While Yoga master Ram Dev Baba was donating blood while our corrupt Home Minister Bam Dev Baba was busy planning on how to effectively use the relief materials for his own cadres and cousins. Bam Dev must resign and stay at his house in Bhaisepati instead of flying in choppers and doing nothing.  

He would rather make of millions of dollars by outsourcing government works to foreign companies rather than mobilize and direct government employees to reach out to thousands of affected families and distribute relief materials provided by our own people and foreigners as well.

The Bhutanese PM Togbay has visited affected places and even donated a million dollars for the relief works. We should not blame our PM for not going out to the affected areas. He himself is not in good health but instead of only thanking bideshis for their aid, he should have thanked the Nepali people for being strong and encouraged us to help each other out.

Now, our politicians are scared to go out due to fear that the public will beat them black and blue. Our political parties are very good when it comes to mobilizing their cadres to shut down the country. The political cadres know how to throw stones and destroy public property. So don't expect our clowns and their crazy followers to have a change of heart.

Our ruling clowns have shown us all that they are lazy and have no clue on how to help the common citizens but whatever happened to our Emperor and his opposition alliance? Why can't our great comrade chairman come out from his home and help clear the debris or help in distributing water and other supplies to the affected families. Why can't millions of cadres work together to help the needy families?

The government has announced immediate compensation of one lakh rupees to the families of those who perished in the earthquake and twenty five thousand rupees to those whose homes have been destroyed. What the needy folks need right now is safe shelter, clean drinking water and food.  Reconstruction will take time and must be planned carefully. 

What can you repair with twenty five thousand rupees and it will take a few weeks or even months before we find workers to carry out repair works at our homes, roads and other infrastructures.

And we all know that the government will announced more cash compensation later but most of it will be looted by our own civil servants and politicians. Our opposition wallahs also want a role in distribution of relief materials. The truth is that they also want to get hold of anything possible so that they can only help their cadres and cousins.



Our government has failed us. Our politicians are hiding. It's us the people who are out on the street helping each other out. If our local wards, municipalities and other government agencies cannot help our communities then why should we continue to pay our taxes? 

Maybe, we should just pay the salaries of our security personnel from own pockets and provide them with needed resources to help us all during natural disasters. If our politicians have an ounce of shame then they should just leave this land of ours. 

The Prime Minister's Relief Fund is swelling with cash. Our politicians can take it as they leave because we all know that most of the relief materials and financial aid will not reach those in need.