Saturday, April 19, 2014

Schools without textbooks

If the bideshis hear about 'schools without textbooks' in this beautiful land of ours then they must think that our students are all equipped with iPads and don't have to carry books to school. 

But our public students don't have iPads and they don't even have textbooks while they attend schools.  Let's all congratulate our incompetent government for being consistent in at least one thing, which is failing to provide textbooks to our public school students on time.

Our inefficient government began providing free school textbooks to public school students six years ago and they have yet to learn their lesson. Our government is spending Rs 1.28 billion to provide free textbooks to 6 million public school students in 29,000 public schools. 

If we calculate the kickbacks and chiya kharcha to hakim sahebs then it must run in millions of Rupees. Maybe, we need a strict headmaster or headmistress with a big bamboo stick to bring our Education ministry wallahs in line.

Majority of our public school students are forced to attend their classes without textbooks but our Education Ministry wallahs don't think it's a big issue. 

The staff at  Janak Shiksha Samagri Kendra (JSSK) are a bunch of jackasses who desperately need a big kick in their arses. JSSK is authorized to publish 70% of the total textbooks for the public schools but it has not even delivered 50% of the target.

The JSSK lazy bums now tell us that it will need at least a month to publish the remaining textbooks and another two weeks to supply them to the districts. 

Our private publishers have also failed to meet the target as well. But we live in a land where the contractors get their money even if they don't finish their work on time. Our civil servants don't have to provide any service to common citizens and yet they get pay increases and bonuses every year. 

Our corrupt clowns continue to fight over petty issues and really don't care much about writing the constitution ad yet we continue to believe in them. So how do we hold all them chors accountable?

Our government spends billions of Rupees on education but most of it goes to pay our public school teachers and some of it will be used to fill the pockets of hakim sahebs while only spare change will go to maintain the schools. 

Majority of our public schools don't even have toilets or clean drinking water.  
Most of our public school teachers collect their paychecks without even showing up for work.  

Many public teachers in the hilly districts are experts when it comes to playing cards and drinking local moonshine.  Maybe, they will do better if they apply for jobs as card dealers at our casinos or maybe as master tasters at some distillery.

Well, there are a few good public schools in the country and maybe a thousand dedicated teachers but the rest of the bunch are enjoying free lunch because they are affiliated with our political parties. 

Every year, hundreds of thousands of public school students fail their SLC exams. Maybe it would be better if we could deduct the pay of public school teachers if the students fail their exams.  So, if a public school somewhere has a zero percent pass rate then the teachers get nothing for the next academic session.  

They will have to work for free instead of getting free lunches. But of course, we have unions everywhere and our teacher unions are more eager to fight for pay increases every year instead of helping our students get good education.

How does our government expect our students to learn when they don't have textbooks?  The government is busy asking for US$400 million loan from the Chinese for our hydropower projects. 

Maybe, we should ask the Chinese for some help in getting the textbooks on time. Yes, let private publishers print the textbooks and if a Chinese company can do it for fraction of the cost then let them do it. 

If our government really wants to get some free cash from the Chinese then we can make it mandatory for our SLC students to at least take one foreign language subject for their exams.  We can give them the option of Mandarin, Latin and Aramaic.  

Mel Gibson is probably the only guy who knows Aramaic and only Pope Francis does Latin for his masses.  Our students will have no choice but to take Mandarin. And if we can produce half a million Mandarin speaking students every year then maybe that will help them to work as tourist guides, liaison officers or even work for Chinese companies abroad. 

The Desis might not be too happy with the 'Mandarin' stuff but we can appease them by saying that Bollywood movies are making all the money from us and most of our students know the latest Bollywood song lyrics anyway.

It's the same natak every year and it's about time our students boycotted their schools and demand reforms in the education sector. Let's learn a thing or two from our cricketers! 

Yes, our public school student should stand up for their rights and demand textbooks on time. Maybe, we should gather six million public school students and gherao the Education Ministry demanding the end of the annual textbook shortage natak once and for all. 

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