Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Happy About Pretty Much Everything...

The Amriks love them poll soll kya... if only we had them pollsters in our backyard! When we had the CA election selection.. even the Maoists were surprised when they became the largest saadey (bull) in town! They were like... What do we do..now?

Well, Tina Brown is surely spicing things up @ Newsweek... so what's next ... Larry Flynt taking over Time magazine? Hehe... ... hope someday, our very own jackass, Rishi Dhamala will get to head Fox News hola ni! Rishi would be the perfect fit .... I really like this guy.. he is the face of 'New Nepal'..hehe!

You extort businessmen, give some of them dough to Sujata auntie and Makune and then you win a 'Free Get out of Jail' card and where do you go.. you go to Disneyland! Yes.. Rishi went to Amrika with our netas .... he had some fun rey... so if you want to make it big in Naya Nepal... then do some Dhamala Dhamaka hola ni!

Anyways, let's get back to them Newsweek poll soll... them Amrikis are vary vary angry about .. pretty much everything rey! School kids are not longer taunted with 'Yo Mama' jokes rey.. now it's like 'Obama is your Mama' jokes hola ni!

Ani .. them Amrikis don't even leave God alone kya.... God has only 33% approval rating rey! Well, I would like to know our former God's (Gyanu Uncle) approval rating in 2002, 2005, 2008 and 2011! If we believe Kamal Thapa then ... well, Kamal Thapa should just go back to Hetauda, build a clay court and invite Nadal to play tennis with him kya!

According to GPS...it was 87% when he fired Deuba rey ....then 51% when he decided to be the head coach and in when we decided to go Republic.. it was down 27% and now back up to 41% rey! GPS bhanya chahi 'Guffadi Pollster Society' .. haha!

What about Prachandoo? Well.. Prachandoo ko approval rating when he first became PM was 30% then when tried to fire Kattu-waal ... it went down to 11% and now he gets 5% ... really! I don't know .. I am good at making stuff up!

Unemployment in Amrika is 9+ percent... ani hamro ni.... I don't know what our unemployment rate is.... but underemployed ko kura ma tuh .. it's like 91% nai hola! But we are still happy ni... come Friday night... Kathmanduites are busy "Livin' La Vida Loca" ...hehe!

When it comes to Amrikis.. its all about gas & groceries kya! Here in Nepal... we are happy earning in Rupees and paying our bills in dollars kya! If you want to survive in Kathmandu then you either need to be a YCL, trade-union clown or a traffic police! (Traffic-police-ni in Thapathali are okay!)

Or you can be a mundrey goonda running after them tender-sender, extortion, abduction ... and don't you worry... our so-called netas will come running to them police station every tyam you get arrested because come election tyam... your services will be needed kya!

75% of the Amrikis think their country is on the wrong track rey.. what's wrong with them Amrikianos? If Obama really wants to balance the budget then quit playing them golf solf and start charging for them DV lottery applications kya!

I don't know how much them Amriki debt sebt is ... last tyam I heard.. it was around 13 trillys.. must be 14 something abuh tuh!

And here comes the 'Tina Brown' eestyle of polling solling... hehe! 56% percent of Amrikis are so pissed off that they can't even sleep rey! Lau.... in Nepal ... 99% of Nepalis are fast asleep by 11pm.. no wonder all them burglars ko haroo ko happy hour starts from midnight to 3am in the morning!

So should we hire them Amrikis to be our security neighborhood guards ki kaso? ... Raat vari ESPN hay-rey basi halchan kyaaruh! 2 lee-tawr ko Diet Coke ruh twinkies lay kaam chalau cha kya! And 13% are so worried that it has affected their bed tai-chi activities rey! Lau.. maryo.... nobody told these 13% folks about them 'blue' pills ki kya ho?

And Amrika ko economic problems have made 26% ko shaadi into barbaadi rey! Lau.. kya taal ko manchey haroo hoon yee Amrikanos! Visit Nepal baroo.... our netas are jackasses, country is going down the drain... but we are happy about pretty much everything kya!

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