Friday, June 17, 2011

Rule of Low-Lifes....

Deepak dai says, ‘Our netas are the Dons of all Dons’ …. What’s wrong with him? This is a serious case of defamation ki kay bhancha ni… let’s leave our corrupt clowns alone! Our CA members get a bad rap…. It is not easy to do nothing and still get paid 50K a month unless you are them trade union wallahs who demand to get paid even for the days you closed down shop!

Hope someday we will see Deepak dai as our Home Minister. I think the first thing he would do is scrap that so-called ‘close down at midnight’ informal rule slapped against all them restaurant and bars all over Kathmandu valley. Hope our election campaign promises will be more pragmatic in the future… like ‘Vote for me and you can party all night’ or ‘If I win then I will buy you a generator or a send you a water tanker every week or get you 30 litres of Petrol for free every month’ … etiyaadi!

Khagendra Thapa Magar has lost his crown. He got beat by a Filipino who happened to be a little more than 2 inches shorter than him. When it comes to certain things in life, size does matter kyaaruh! Junrey Balawing celebrated his accomplishment by partying it up with cakes and balloons. I hope Khaggu bhai enjoyed being the world’s shortest man but in our hearts, he will always be our ‘little man’ !

Talking about sizes, I hope our first draft of the constitution will be a little more than a pamphlet. We now have like 70 days and it looks our netas will probably need some jolt to get things moving. So from now on, let’s only provide either ‘Red Bull’ or some strong espresso shots for our great CA members or else they might slack off ni!

Or we can have some kind of a regulatory body like the Nepal Telecommunication Authority (NTA)! Why? Because in the next 90 days, our cybercafé wallahs will have to follow them new regulations rey! So can we have something like the ‘People Power Authority’ (PPA) and set some kind of guidelines for our netas which somehow should be enforced mandatorily?

All them folks who visit them cyber cafes will now have to present their ID cards before they update their fb status rey! I think all them netas should present a colonoscopy report before they start speaking from their arse kya.

And them cyber-wallahs will have to maintain a confidential log book and present it to our security personnel when asked for it rey… lau jaa .. baroo why not get all them PAs of our great netas and ask them to maintain a visitor’s log book and submit it to PPA when required kya! At least then we will know if Prachandoo is really sleeping with them RAW agents or if KP Oli is a saint and if our Home ministers were so busy renovating their own homes that they forgot everything about them faulty APCs!

NTA has kindly instructed ISPs to provide 24 hours service and if the network is down due to maintenance and stuff then we should be informed at least three days in advance rey. If we do have the PPA then it should come out with similar policies.

Our netas should be instructed to provide us with 24 hours of batti and paani. It’s not going to happen soon but they should have a plan ni hoinuh ruh? The only plan these buffoons can come up with is … how to loot, shoot and boot the people and use them state funds and resources to maximize their wealth while the country slips into a coma!

It’s like our three big idiots are playing a game of ping pong with their foreheads or something. I have no idea what that meant but it would be fun to watch such antics! And if they plan to shut down the country then please give us three days notice too instead of scheduling a bandh depending on the them crazy mood swings of our netas and their mundrey goondas!

I think this PPA thing could really work … maybe wishful thinking! NTA wants them ISPs to pay back or waive them fee see if the network is down! Yes…. If only we could have such regulations for our great PEs like No Electricty Authority (NEA), No Oil Corporation (NOC) and NTC (No Telephone Conversation) ! Ye.. I forgot NAC pani cha ni.. NAC will likely be ‘No Airlines Corporation’ in a year or two!

Laws in Nepal are meant to be broken , them criminals and our corrupt clowns have made a mockery of the laws of the land. 'Rule of Law' goli maaro, 'Rule of Low-Lifes' zindaabaad! Jai Hos!

I want to thank 'The Week' Crew for publishing my jpt guff-suff every Friday since May 6th, 2011. Yo Friday chahi publish bhaye-nuh due to the editor's irritable bowel habits rey (he forgot to check his email semail rey).. haha! Tyesai lay afnai blog ma rakhey-ko! Anyways.... I like Republica, esp. 'The Week' because they have cool, young folks working as a team kya! I love you all!

Ani mathi ko cartoon sartoon chahi.. mero anoohar batuh banaa-ko ho.... drawn by my good old friend, Nepalien back then... 2000 ma hola ... thanks for all them images you created for our old website ... we had a blast then hagi!

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