Friday, June 3, 2011

5-point deal....

Now, we have a 5-point deal to take this peace seace thing to a logical conclusion rey... and give us some kind of a first draft of that constitution stuff as well! And let us not forget our Mao-buddies who wants to join them army sarmy so bad kya!

Today, let us go through them 5-point deal signed by them three grumpy idiots! Prachandoo really wants to slap Mohan Baidya and Baburam at the same tyam... while Jhallu has already been slapped but he also wants to bitch-slap Mauke and KP Oli rey... and our dear old Sushil Koirala has no energy to slap anyone.... maybe he needs to drink Boost or take some of them 'blue' pills hola..hehe!

So what are these fools going to accomplish in the next 90 days? First, we will finally have some peace seace... really? Not.... the last three years were wasted because our three idiots and them Madeshi netas wanted a piece of the loot kya! Somebody needs to teach our netas .... some Angrezi hola... hello.. can we have some ESL teachers please! Gadha haroo 'peace' bhaney ko tuh 'piece' bhan-thaney jasto cha hagi!

Then they will finish them first draft of our so-called 'Constitution of Nepal' rey. Our netas still haven't decided what kind of system we want... do we want a dumb President like Bush or some arse-kisser like Tony Blair?

If we go the 'Prezzi' way then we will be stuck with one idiot for 4-5 years but if we shag it like the British then we will probably have coalition government and a different idiot every year hola... because then that's when them 'vote of no-confidence' and sarkar-dhaalney kaam soo-roo hooncha..hehe!

I think we are fine with our 14 states, 75 districts set up .. hoinuh ruh? One crazy Mao-buddy wants like 900 states. Jackass... wake up and smell them whisky kya... we don't even have that much ethnic groups ... bhaako anchal or jilla ma bikash sikash garney hoinuh... jpt guff matra garchan yee mora haroo!

And the most difficult part tuh... integration and rehabilitation of our Maoist Rambos and Rambo-nis nai ho kyaaruh! Prachandoo will be happy if he gets to send 7,000-9,000 PLA folks to Nepal army and the rest (10,000!).. he can always use them to do some daang doong as them "People's Volunteers" kya!

But he wants Rs 10 lakhs a pop for them.. so that means 10,000 Mao-buddies will get 10 lakhs each.. but we all know how the Maoist party works! The party gets to keep 90% ... so them fighters who can't join our security agencies will go home with just a lakh Rupees kya! Yestai ho... maybe Prachandoo's ancestors were from Gujrat hola! Nikkai hisab kitab ma tuh batho cha hai Chairman saheb tuh!

And our Madeshi leaders want a separate Madeshi regiment .... why? Yes, NA should be more inclusive... I have no idea what that means but if you are medically fit, pass them exams then you should get a shot to wear them uniforms and go for them UN peacekeeping missions hola ni... but we can't have a regiment for all our ethnic groups kya! If we agree to that then we will have like 100 regiments hola ni!

The Madeshi leaders have their own private army ... yes, them armed outfits operating in Terai are backed by our great Forum-walahs and funded by the Desi Ambassador's 'petty cash' fund rey! But I don't blame them... it's better to get paid by the state than always worrying about footing their salaries... extortion rackets are not bringing much moolah these days!

But before we do all them stuff... we have to have the so-called 'National Consensus Government' and Jhallu Baba has to resign.... but looks like Jhallu can still run around Baluwatar and jump on them sofa, eat some chips and drink some twat while our idiots take their time to assemble a 'dream team' hola ni!

It looks like Dr. BRB will finally be our captain.... Deuba also wants to lead the team rey.. but isn't he the same guy who bought them arms from Belgium to wipe out the Maoists and gave the commissions to his own Salo?

I guess Deuba also gave some of it to Prachandoo hola... no wonder... only innocent folks got killed during them so-called 'civil war' kya!

Waah rey... our politicians and their politics... if we all Nepalis were politicians then this country would be doing some real pragati hola! Our politicians always agree to share the loot, divide them ministries and pay each other off to win them votes sotes kya!

And look at us, brothers fighting over 2 annas of land, passengers refusing to pay that extra Rupee to the Khalasi... if we were all netas then them brothers would bribe the Maal-poat office and sell the land to three different buyers .. hehe ... and instead of paying the fare, passengers would gang up and hijack the bus and take it to Pokhara for the weekend hola ni!

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