Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday Blues...

NOC (No Oil Corporation) has once again decided to hike them petrol price srice.. now its Rs 102 per litre! Jamma 5 Rupees badya ho but don't be surprised if the taxi driver wants to charge you Rs 5 per km kya!

Yestai ho Naya Nepal maa! And although I don't see them bikes on them pavement savement these days... them bike-wallahs should take them traffic classes hola!

Don't try to squeeze through a paani-tanker and a truck.... okay, you are wearing them helmet selmet but please worry about the person riding with you kya... baccha, biwi liyeruh tyesto natak garcha .. abuh kay bhanney?

Our new IGP, Rabindra Pratap Shah (RPS) says he will adopt 'zero tolerance policy' on corruption. Ho ruh bhanya? IGP saheb ... you have 15 months to wear that phooli and attend them cocktail parties organized by them INGOs... chillax please!

So does this mean.. that tyo Inspector who had to pay some netas' PA ... 10lakhs to get a good posting will not be able to recover his investment? We all know that all SSPs who want to get promoted to DIGs should get 50lakhs ready... I guess nobody would want to be a DIG now.. hehe!

If you really want to reform your police force and make it more professional then the first thing you need to do is.. ban them cellphones! Yes, our police-wallahs call them criminals even before them arrest warrants are out sout kya.... ani kinuh naw-bhagos tuh bajiya haroo!

And no more daaroo on duty.... baroo give them free coffee or Red Bull or let them smoke crack... that should keep our cops awake all night and maybe they can catch them burglars kya!

And please... teach them to speak like a decent human being... no more mookh-chaading and jpt Q&A sessions ... we just want to go home ... we are not planning to burglarize a DIG's house..haha!

There are still few honest cops... yes like 1% out of them 50,000+ police wallahs... and they get transferred to Rolpa and Rukum while those who pay them home minister and hakims ... get them 'paisa-waal' posting kya!

So are you telling us ... all this will stop? Not really.... and what kind of reward and punishment policy are you thinking of... a packet of orange balls for a traffic cop who no longer harasses them taxi drivers.. hehe!

Them traffic cops make Rs 1,000 a day, extorting them public transport-wallahs... I guess you better give him few tolas of Gold if he stops doing that ... natra khaas faida bhaye ni uslai hoinuh ruh?

In a recent case of police (nai chor!) nataks, the SP of Parasi and a DSP of the NID (Nautanki Investigation Department ki kya ho) decided to arrest a local businessman and chargeed him with murder ... poor guy, he had to pay Rs 400,000 to get out of jail and he didn't even kill anybody.. so if he had really murdered someone then the price would be 10 times higher hola ni!

Somehow, somebody found out and them SP and DSP bhai-saheb have only been suspended rey.... not fired... not jailed .... maybe they will also get to be them security advisers for our Prime-Monster kya.. like our former IGP Thakuri!

Our new IGP says ... he will expose any cops involved in them ghoos-khori nataks rey! Please don't... our friday weeklies like 'Saptahik' and 'Sukrabar' already do enough exposing kya..haha!

I think them Kantipur and Nagarik owners should be ashamed of themselves. They both publish very good newspapers... why the @#$! do you want a half-naked woman in them pages kya? Yes, and some folks read Playboy for them hard-hitting articles hola ni!

How come our so-called Naari NGOs are not burning them newspapers? Why not have 'real' women featured in your papers instead of these girls kya? Okay, it won't sell ... but what's up with all this soft-porn nataks?

I don't get it.... baroo if you really want to sell millions of copies then just follow the British with their Page3 nataks... and then everybody can attend the 'Saptahik Burning Man' festival hola ni!

But I wouldn't mind Sujata auntie doing her 'Cougar' poses .... Saptahik... let's see if you can do that! I don't read Saptahik because it's full of shit but I really liked 'Sukrabar' but then they started the same 'half-naked' nataks... I guess I will just have to stick to 'Jana Astha' like I did before!

And Mr. Mahara, our Home minister is asking them UMLs for help! I think he should ask Nepal Police to nab that guy not another political party! We don't need them police, courts etiyaadi... Nepal ma them political parties ko raaj cha hai! 'Rule of Law' goli maaro.. 'Rule of Low-Lifes' zindaabaad!

Abuh yesto taal ley ani kay ko law and order? Them UML goondas who nearly killed journalist Khila Nath Dhakal should be arrested but of course KP Oli, former Home minister ko goonda rahecha... ani kasley samaatney?

Our Prime-Monster, jasko foorsat nai chaina.. from all them ribbon-cutting nataks has assured (kaslai?) that he will leave no stone unturned rey! What the @#$!? Dhoonga Khaani ma kaam gari raako ho ki kya ho Jhallu Baba?

I feel sorry of them police-wallahs... all them political cadres are arrested and then let go because them netas threaten our chor-police .... no promotion, posting to some remote areas and what not!

Every now and then we hear of them SPs who have the courage to show their middle finger to them netas.. but of course... look where SP Ramesh Kharel is now... he is busy @ some training center outside the valley, running PT courses!

Jai Hos.... hope one day we will see all them Home ministers behind bars.... not gonna happen unless we have journalists who are willing to dig deep and find out the truth.. it's about tyam somebody ran them sting operations so that we could watch our netas on Youtube.... and see for ourselves how low they can stoop .. to make few extra Rupees kya!

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