Where to Eat?

A friend of mine has asked me to write something ... where to eat.. so this is the first one, plan to do it like them Mahabharata TV series kya...hehe!

Hope my take on them restoo-rants will be useful for our friends who are visiting from bidesh! If you are hanging out in Lalitpur... then we have the 'Jhamel' lane..... whoever came up with this name should be kicked in the head with a big-arse moola and fed dalle khoorsaani (ek bora nai!)... that wasn't me... one of them restaurant wallahs in Pulchowk was ranting santing kya!

Well, let us first begin with Jhamel! After you see them 'World War I' ko fire-trucks @ them Damkal.... keep walking swalking... start with 'Cafe Hessed' .... whoever came up with this name should be blessed hola! Looks like there is a Korean invasion going on...every other Korean you meet is either planning to open a cafe sya-fey or is into opening a 'kimchee' place!

Cafe Hessed has them donut sonut, cupcakes etiyaadi kyaaruh! I have never been there.. hehe but my sister brings them cake sake all the tyam! So it must be really good ... because sisters only like good stuff kya!

So if you don't visit this place and try their sweet stuff then you will burn in hell!

Then there is 5 Spices something.... Thai sai khana rey. Looks more like a place where them bankers meet after 5pm for a couple of beers, peanut sadeko and thulo thulo guff but I hear they have good 'Thai Sai' food!

Tyes pachi, New Orleans... I don't know why people go there.... bad food and and jpt price (bhaneko ali mahango) .. so if you really want to go New Orleans for them Mardi Gras stuff then book a flight to Amrika... can't get a visa then apply for DV CV hai!

Vesper Cafe is right next to New Orleans.... last tyam I was there... nikkai pack sack thiyo... with Nepali brothers and sisters.. they have nearly everything but even though most of my friends like it... for me, it's like any other 'new' places!

Across the street, we have Le Trio.. used to be Buzz few years ago.... try them burger surger and that's about it! Tyes ko cheu ma chahi, Singma.... if you want get some Chicken Fly Lice or Nasi Lemak .. Malay-Singapura sytle kya!

This is my favorite place but them portion makes you go crazy and you start swearing in Malay, Tamil and Mandarin ... hehe! So don't forget to visit Singma .... pahila chahi service pani ramrai lagthyo aaj kal ali vow sow khojney bha-chan hamra waiter bhai haroo.... hehe.. but it's better than Roadhouse where them pizzas may be great but them waiters need a flank-kick hola.. but if you are bideshi then don't worry... they will treat you like God kya (that was Roadhouse... if you are in Singma.. just point at them numbered pictures menu baatuh hehe!)

Then we have Masala just down the road, same lane as Singma! Who the @#$! wants to go out for an Indian? No, that wasn't what them white folks said when they decided to come to Amrika and murder them natives.... who were the first illegal aliens? Not that hard to figure it out hola!

I didn't mean to offend our Desi friends, feri mero college friend might not invite me to his wedding next year... his father is into hawala (hundi) ... so he is inviting some Bollywood actress to do her interpretive dance sance... can't miss that hola ni!

Anyways, if you want to get some naan saan, tandoori chicken then just go to them neighborhood tandoori place kya! NYC ma tyo harek block ko Chinese bhanya jastai ... Kathmandu ma chai.. Tandoori kya!

After you finish eating them 'curry' Masala maa... take the galli on your right and head to Dan Ran .... Let's get back to Masala for a minute... kya creative naam saam hagi! If I were to open some Indian joint then I would name my place 'Tipu Sultan's Palace' or 'Akbar's' or 'Desi Dilemma' or 'RamDev's Veggie Corner' ... I don't know! Dan Ran is a Japanese place.... must visit!

Then come out and head towards the main road and make a right... there comes Picasso... he's been dead for a while now but I guess them owners realy love them cubism subsim hola ni!

Nothing great about Picasso... unless you want to sit on them sofas and smoke them cigars ... or you want some steak or .. didn't find anything great about this place or them khana!

Then come Roadhouse, the great 'Pizza' place ....I go there now and then whenever my sister takes bhanja-bhanji for them pizza sizza... but every tyam I go there .. I want to punch the waiter.. haha!

They act like they have something stuck up their arse... but when with family, you have to be on your best behavior .. so no beating the wait-staff with them pizza sizza kya!

Roadhouse also has them branch sranch in Thamel and Bhatbhateni! Singma also opened up another place in Bhatbhateni rey!

Tyes pachi 'Chai Chai cafe' .... was there a month ago.. they have this small gallery space.. good! Service.. bad.. waited for some tyam before the 'Lord Waitery of Waterloo' graced me with his presence... food.. okay!

So... you should not miss Singma, Dan Ran and Roadhouse... Vesper is okay if you are meeting your high school friends (drink beer seer and some chicken sicken) .... but if you want to go to Roadhouse then just grab some kuire volunteer who is loitering around and offer him or her a free slice of Pizza .... for better customer service hai!

Or if you really want some masala-fied Biryani real bad then go to Masala... hehe! Arko choti chahi.. we cover them places after St. Mary's school hai!