Thursday, March 24, 2011

What's your GDP?


Nepal's GDP per capita ... $642 rey .. abuh kay... should we congratulate ourselves or thank our netas for them strikes, extortion, land grabbing, rookh-kaating and what not.... for making our lives miserable... baroo sabai miley ruh kaam garya bhaye $1,000 tuh kaat-thyo hola ni!

Ani GNP per capita tuh $200+ tuh hola ni.... yestai ho... Bhutan lay pani jitcha.. at least football ma tuh haam ley jityo ni!

We have to thank our comrades... if it weren't for them .. we wouldn't be a Republic or 'Rip-off-the-Public' ni! Raja ko paala ma panchey lay khayo.. Girija ko pala ma Kangaroos lay lootyo ... abuh yo gana-tantra ma sabai chor haroo milay ruh khaney ho kya!

We should also thank our Maoists for inspiring millions of Nepalis to go to them foreign lands... so that our Maoists, Morons (aroo chor haroo!) and Madhesi netas can enjoy the loot in our own land sand!

Hamra migrant workers haroo ko paisa lay tuh desh baachi raacha ni... tyo 20-30 wata factory lay tuh desh dhaani raah hoinuh hola? Baroo trade unions haroo chahi baachi raachan hai and our sahujis buy new SUVs every year but don't have enough to pay them workers kya!

Abuh minimum wage Rs 6,100.00 ... lau hai badhai cha... hamro neta haroo pani tyeti paisa ma nai survive gar-naw sikay hoon-thyo ni!

And our so-called government has declared them 'energy' crisis rey.. hahah.. what's new? Thank God.. they didn't promise us 80,000 MW batti in the next 10 years or something like that! 30% of them batti satti tuh chor-cha.. ani kinnuh naw-hos tuh load shedding ni!

It's not that we don't have own own investors who are willing to take the risk... but our netas and civil servants lai paisa khaana matrai aucha ni... yeso baroo saag-paat kha-noo ni baroo! Yo 'energy crisis' will last four years rey... haha NEA will be broke by three.. so just get your solar tuki-suki ready and maybe we will get billions for them carbon credit natak satak ni!

Hami sanguh bhaako paisa pani inverter, generator kee-nay-ruh sabai jaana taat palti sakyo! If them EU, Amriki, Chinese, Indians and aliens... really want to help us then don't give us them hawa-taari aid said kya... baroo sabai ghar ma 'solar polar' raakh-dinoos.. aroo kaam haami aafai gari haal-choom ni! Constitution goli maaro.. all we want is some batti satti kya!

Warren Buffett is hanging out in India... how come nobody invited him to Nepal kya... baroo next tyam chahi ... geet seet, dance sance bhanda pani Buffet, Bill Clinton haroo lai bolaam nuh.. uni haroo ko guff pani soo-noom nuh!

Once upon a tyam in Amrika... I had them Brkb shares (Berkshire Hathaway)... I should have framed it... sold it for a $500 profit per share... tyo pani sabai Double Whopper khaa-yeruh sakiyo... hahah! I miss them burgers... large fries and XXL drink srink hehe!

Buffett can teach our stock-wallahs and bankers and byapaaris ... how to invest sin-vest ... hola and Billy dai can teach us ... how to multi-task .. like eat pizza, smoke a cigar and mentor an intern simultaneously.. hahaha.. No... baroo Russell Peters lai nai liye-ruh aunoo parla hai!

And thank you NEA... load shedding ali ghatya jasto cha hai.... ye.. SLC po soo-roo bhaye cha ni! Good luck to all our SLC-wallahs... and hope someday .... you won't have to go to bidesh sidesh for them higher studies ... afnai desh ma sasto, ramro education seducation paa-wos... khoi kailey ho... tyo din auney?

Actress Elizabeth Taylor is dead ... baroo Girija Bajey ko moorti soorti bhanda .. Taylor Baw-jai ko thulo (Statue of Liberty jaw-ttro) moorti kunai park sark ma banau hai.... baroo kehi naw-bhaye pani 1-2 million asian tourists haroo ko bhid tuh laagcha .. hahah!


3 comments:

  1. hehehehe..are you a Russell Peters' fan?? that racist mula is very funny. Indian girls are spicy rey....if you are going down on them.. get a glass of water rey.. hehehehehe.

    Nice "shatter" (satire as all Nepali pronounces it..) hehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. @meengma... hehe.. RP should come to Nepal.. I hope them JPR event wallahs bring him here... hamro nepali ko ego boost soost hooncha ki... heheh desi bhai ko joke soke soonay ruh.... haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha..ego boost ta huncha nepali ko tara feri tei ta ho ni...tyre balyo, road side railings haru bhatkayo, bato ko dividers haru dhalyo..badi bhanda badi garyo bhaney..jpr ko owner ko gadi jalaidela...ani kheri..bholi palta dekhi back to normality..ahahahaha

    ReplyDelete