Hooliganism.....

We have a new football coach, some British guy ... who gets paid $5,000 per month and 500 more for bhatta-satta rey! And it looks like... our football team will have to either drink tons of 'Red Bull' or start doing ballet.. if they really want to work as a team seam ni!

Ki coordination milcha hola .. ki everyone will be hyper and just shoot at them post sost.. ani kaso 100 choti ma ek dui choti goal naw-hola.. hehe?

Our national team played against Bhutan .. and won both them matches but it wasn't easy kyaaruh! C'mon... we can't even thrash Bhutan... yestai taal ley aroo sang-aw kay khelney?

And we are Nepalis... if we drink (raksi saksi) .. we have two options kyaaruh .. throw up and sleep on the street or wake up and start kung-fu fighting! And our footballers did just that... in Pokhara! Maybe they were just too happy to beat Bhutan hola ni!

And instead of fighting with the other team, referees (that's what our footballers are good at!) or ANFA officials.. our great footballers were punching each other and probably preparing for the next 'mixed martial arts' fight sight hola ni!

I hope our British coach will make sure that them national players will be in their rooms by 10 and lights off by 11pm kya! So ... next tyam don't let the boys go out because we are Nepalis and if we stay out after 10pm... then there will be 'Trouble in Little Lakeside' .. heheh!

And I hope the 'Angrez' will teach our boys some 'English' football tips and tricks kya.. which is ... always screw up ... like the English team does during them World Cup kyaaruh.. hahah!

Dr. Saheb aka BRB can now be our official 'domestic tourism' ambassador .. maybe NTB (Nepal Tourism Board) will organize a ceremony and do some fool-maala karyakaram tomorrow! Yes, BRB has now ... visited all them 75 districts rey... congratulations Doc!

BRB wasn't going around taking them pictures and learning new 'dohori songs' or new dance routines etiyaadai ... he was all over the place venting his frustration @ them 'Neo-Mandaleys' rey... hahah.. .... mandalyes were big then... them hooligans from the Panchey days... and now Prachandey dai ko chamcha haroo lai BRB dai lay Mandaley bhanchan heheh!

I think that should be the criteria to be a 'Home Minister' ... if you want 'Home' .. then you will be eligible only if you have visited all them places ni... so that you know what's going on .. hoinuh ruh?

And we should remind our 'Home' Ministers that.. Thamel is not Nepal and closing down them places after 12 ... is against the UN ko 'Right to Party' declaration ki kay bhancha ni.. hahah! And our so-called police (chor) should be deployed all around the city... 24 x7 instead of only during 'Holi' or whenever Bryan Adams is in town kya.. heheh!

Let's get back to the 'So You Wanna be a Home-Mantri' guff... and no.. them chopper rides don't count.. you have to ... at least walk to each district headquarters and say your two words (dui sabda) and get your papers stamped by the oldest person in the district .... so if the #1 senior citizen lives like 7 hours away from the district headquarters then you better get your arse off them koorchi and start walking hombre!

Talking about them 'two words'... wouldn't it be fun if our netas just said exactly two words instead of going on and on and wasting our tyam syam .. in them so-called 'udghatan karyakarams'?

First, please arrive on tyam... if the program schedule says 10:00am then don't wake up at 10 and then brush your teeth, do your yoga and read them papers and then arrive at the scene at 12 kya!

Second, just take your seat .. don't expect us to welcome you and then request you to place your 'humble' arse on them sofa kya! You are not humble and you should be more worried about them 'sambhidaan' than attending fokatey ko programs ni!

Ani.. lastuh ma if you are asked to give your 'two words' ... then don't go on a rant for the next two hours.. because you arrived late and we are tired and really more excited to go back home than listen to your fokatey ko bhaa-shun .. so if you must say them 'dui sabda' then just say .. 'Thank You' ... hahah.. and leave!