Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Happy Shiva Ratri...

Happy 'Maha Shiva Ratri' aka 'The Great Night of Shiva' to all our great 'Sadhus' from India, pot-lovers from Kathmandu valley and women who have to pray to the 'Big One' and men who have to go to Pashupatinath because they want to be like 'Lord Shiva' .. or something like that!

And it's also our 'Nepal' ko 'Army Day' ... while them soldiers dressed in green fatigues will be firing them cannons sannons.. them 'Holy Men' dressed in saffron robes and loin clothes (thong song) will also be firing their cannons! I mean.. kay bhancha toap soap (tyo grass srass, ganja sanja etiyaadi!) ni!

PADT (Pashupati Area Development Trust), arko 'paisa kamauney' bhaa-dough... has banned 'buying and selling' of them 'Shivaji ko prasad' aka 'I luv Bob Marley' stuff! So .. I guess our holy men from India and the Nepali men from the valley will have to make good use of them 'barter' system hola ni!

So.. instead of offering them sadhus.. paisa saisa.. offer them your undies or jootta sootta kya! After all.. we don't want them holy men to catch cold (running around naked!) or them blisters on their feet seet ni!

PADT.. just recently, banned them 'love birds' from hanging around them forest area because they were holding hands and making out rey!

C'mon.. this is the place of 'Lord Shiva' .. the 'weed maestro' .. the 'lover boy' who was always high, horny and out of his mind ni! Haven't you read them 'Holy' books .. ki kya ho?

And what about them 'naked' holy men and their 'I can lift this brick with my thing' nautanki nataks ni! So I guess... we should ask our 'love-birds' to dress up in them 'Jogi-Jogini' ko get-up and make out hola ni!

Nepal Tourism Board (NTB) should do more than just 'fokatey' ko promotion sromotion in them foreign lands.. why not organize something... like invite them 'nudists' or 'nature lovers' for a dance party across the river ni! And our 'naked' sadhus can be the main 'feature' seature hola ni! I think we can get like 100,000 more and it will help us to reach tyo 'million' tourists this year ko target kya!

PADT plans to have like 3,800 security folks for more than 500,000 of them bhakta-jans! Wow... Bryan Adams is a lucky man.. he had like 5,000 police-wallahs for his and them 17,000+ fans haroo ko security ni!

If we do them math sath... then Nepal police ko sabai janaa (50,000+) should be in Pashupati today ni!

And while our Nepal Army show them 'Karate' moves and them 'mini-tanks' to them President, nautanki netas and them 'foreign' raaj-doots ... them 'Shiva fans' will be smoking weed and them bhaang saang stuff and go crazy hola ni!

And our PADT folks have urged them devotees not to carry 'valuable items sitems' rey... well, if you are wearing them '10 tola' ko soon or them 'Rolex' ghadi then you are at the wrong party palace hoinuh ruh?

And if you don't want to stay in line .. then please pay Rs 1,000.00 and you get them 'VIP' pass rey! And Bryan Adams must be famous than 'Lord Shiva' because usko concert ko sabai bhanda sasto ticket nai Rs 2,000.00 hehe!

Although more than 75% of our CA members may be so-called communists... our 'kids' are all capitalists kyaaruh! So if you own them private vehicles and plan to drive around today then please be prepared to carry some loose change with you!

You will be stopped @ them check-posts everywhere, manned by 6 year olds and they won't budge unless you pay the 'Shiva Ratri' road tax.. hahah!

Happy 'Army Day' to our men in green, Happy 'Shiva Ratri' to all them devotees and if you decide to have them 'bhaang saang' ... then make sure you are with your friends and they can drop you off home if you get wasted ni!

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