Saturday, August 6, 2011

Thank You for Not Smoking....

To all our great smokers out there.... hope you puffed here and there... everywhere because come tomorrow, our greatly anticipated ki kay bhancha ni.... 'Tobacco Control & Regulation Act" (ToCRA) will come into play and if you look like Aamir Khan then you better carry your nagarikta with you because the shopkeeper might not give you them pack of 'cancer-sticks' rey!

Is this like the 'No ID, No Internet' thing ki kay ho? If you read them dailies and watch NTV then you probably know about this 'No Smoking' rule kyaaruh or if you are like my friend, Shambhu (not the 'APC' scam ko dalal but my neighborhood 'Hero') then you have no clue kyaaruh!

Shambhu spends his Saturdays, visiting Nakhipot and eating them Badel ko BBQ and drinking a gallon of Kodo ko raksi. He has two wives , three kids and owns a co-operative, a school and a roda-gitti business as well.

This moring, I met him at our 'Chautara' (yes, we do have 'one' in the valley!) and he was happy that his daughter came first in school. Aajuh dherai school ko 'report card' day rahecha ni. Well, he owns the school so there must have been some dhaa-dalee.. hehe!

No, his daughter really studies hard and does all her homework. So, people... don't blame or praise your parents if you are either dumb or super-smart kya. It's got nothing to do with jeans or hairy-diety rey!

Anyways, let's get back to the 'No Smoking' rule hai! ToCRA (you can pronounce it 'tukra' hola ni.. hehe!) prohibits both buying and smoking them tobacco-products at public places and if you do so then you will be fined Rs 100 to 1 lakh rey.

I think the smokers will be fined 100 Rupaiya and them tobacco-wallahs like (Surya and Marlboro!) will be fined 1 lakh if they sponsor any event sevent rey. So no more, them Golden Tributes nights from Surya abuh dekhi tuh!

And where are them public places? Government offices, schools, airports, public restrooms, movie theaters, hotels, restaurants, stadiums and public transport vehicles and even them (non-existent) bus stops as well.

I like it .... now we won't have to deal with them sarkari chors, who are busy drinking tea and puffing churot surot while they take our forms kya. Be it them Yatayat or them PAN darta garney thau sau... I hope civil servants will now stick to them electric-cigarettes ki kay bhancha ni!

We have all kinds of regulations in this great country of ours.... taruh tyehi ho... laagoo pani hoo-noo paryo ni! Who's going to check them shopkeepers if they are selling them churots and khainis to under-age folks ni?

Is it them Ministry of Health or feri hamrai chor-police haroo? I don't know... feri hamro police-wallah lay thug-ney arko bato ho ki kya ho? Anyways, it's all good. Now, our 'sick' city will not be littered by them cigarette butts hola ni.

Ani khoi kati feet samma (tyo school, hospital ko cheu-chau ma!) churot surot naw piu-naw nuh kinnuh pauney rey! Abuh all them kirana pasals haroo lai kya fasaad... everywhere you look there is a school or some aspaw-taal kya!

And the 'halla' of the day chahi: Was sipping 'black tea' at this co-operative ko udghatan sama-roh.. and everybody was talking about 'Prachandoo' uncle and his 43.2million US$ bank account in Switzerland.

Now, where in the world do our Nepali folks get their updates kya? We don't even need tyo Facebook, twitter, blog slog. You stand in a corner (minus them puffing!) and whisper to another bloke ... 'My brother is a jackass' and the next thing you know .... the whole valley will be talking about how Baburam called Prachandoo a 'jackass' and our great chairman misheard it as 'Jhakaas' ...

After all, he may spew them venom against India but them Indian Embassay wallahs have told Mr. Prasad-ey that Prachu darling is 'hamara hi aadmi hay sarkar!' .. hehe! And Mohan Baidya thought he heard 'Jhook-kaus' and Jhallu Baba said 'I am already Jhooking ... don't tell me to 'Jhook-noos' ..... hehe!

I have no idea what that was about .... but tomorrow is a good day for all them non-smokers.... and we will now have less 'butts' on them streets and many of us will die of natural causes than second-hand smoke ki kay bhancha ni!


  1. Very funny ..i can control my laugh even in the office heehe.u nearly got me fired

  2. hehe.. thanks.. hope you won't get fired and happy dashain!