No Parking Please...

My neighbors are mostly decent, law-abiding folks except the Mongolian auntie who seems to have been a 'Hindu Aryan' Mata in her previous life. She starts her puja at 4 am in the morning.

My chimeki, Inspector uncle (he retired 20 years ago kyaaruh) went to her house and asked her to stop ringing them bells shells but she went all pyscho on him and decided to run around the neighborhood accusing him of being a male chauvinist pig kya.

I think I might have to call them 'Magar Samaj' folks and ask them to take her to a Lama and do some jhaar-fook hola ni.

I have nothing against them 'baal-waalahs' ... we all need some space in Kathmandu. Not all of us own them homes and jagga ni. But my neighborhood seems to attract really cool folks like this Marwaari businessman, who looks holy and never leaves home without some white ash on his forehead... but then late at night, he gets into a screaming match with his wife.

Yes, all them married folks do get into thaak-thook but they make up ni.. but you don't get into a brawl every night ni... I think I might have to call the Marwaari Samaj and ask them to look into this kya.

Then there are few jagga dalals... they drive fancy cars ... and they think it's okay to park in the galli (actually, right in front of my back gate) and disappear kya. Few days ago, some jerk parked his SUV and I couldn't find him even after going to sabai chimeki ko ghar shar. Where the @$!# did he disappear?

I am a pro-Tyampoo guy and will only take them taxis after 9pm but sometimes I have to drive my sister's car to run some errands for the family. And every time, I take them vehicle out and when I come back, some jerk has parked his car in front of the gate kya.

After asking everyone if they owned that vehicle, parked in front of my back gate... I had no choice but to drive to the main road and park it there. I slipped a note in them vehicle... promising to place a big badel and then burn the vehicle and have a big BBQ in the neighborhood.

I think it worked ... in few hours, the vehicle was gone. But then another jagga-dalal parked his car today, feri gate kai agaadi. I managed to catch him while he was heading to his apartment. I wanted to give him a flank kick but my father insists that I always talk gently and request and not threaten my chimekis even if they are wrong kya.

I shook his hand and requested him to move the vehicle and not park in the galli , tyo pani hamro gate ko agaadi. Ulto po... bajiya asked me.. 'Who are you, where do you live and where do you come from?'

I wanted to bitch-slap him but I remember my father's advice... hehe! I went on for the next 5 minutes, going back 100 years and talking about my ancestors. Then he replies... 'Abuh Kathmandu ma parking kaha cha ra... yeso gate banda dhekey ani park gardey...'

I nearly lost my cool but decided to slip a 'Halls' in my mouth, chapa-o-ed to the fullest and grabbed his collar and said... 'Sir, tapai ko gaadi main road ma rakhnoos ki joon ghar ma baseko ho tyehi vitra rakhnoos hai'

I think he got the message hola... especially when someone is threatening while chapa-ing Halls ... it looks scary kya!

Well, we used to have the tole sudhar samiti but now most of them home owners have either moved to them housing colonies or are abroad... and them baal-walahs either don't care or think it's okay to park their vehicles, motorbikes and even washing machine (jawana ma!) ... abuh gate ko agaadi maathi ko picture jastai parking sign rakhnai parla!