Monday, August 15, 2011

Hazare's India...

It's been sixty four years since the British left India and if it weren't for them economic reforms in the 90s, our Nepali students in India would still be making some extra pocket money by selling them jeans and dingo boots,and all them stuff from Bishal Bazar hehe!

Thank God.... we were never colonized by the British or else we would have hill stations everywhere and railroads and good schools and better civil servants pani. We have to give it up for our Shumsher Ranas for building all them palaces and no bato ghato!

No, I am not saying that we should have been colonized or something like that. I am proud like all our Nepali patriots like Prachandoo, Gyanu uncle and even Jhallu Baba! But if only our Congressis had followed them Desi's economic formula then, we would be eating McDonald's burgers and SMSing for a paisa hola ni.

Burgers are bad for your health and too much SMSing will lead to crooked fingers rey... so it's better to shut down your own industries and loot the national coffers ni.

Yes, them Desis talk about how far India has come. I really don't care about them Bollywood stars making 10 crores per movie or Ambani and his billion dollar bird's nest. And all them call-center business and whatever is not really what India should be proud of kya.

I do not want to bitch about India today. Happy Independence Day to all my Desi friends ... we should learn a thing or two from them when it comes to all this 'Desh Premi' nataks kya.

Talking about love, the 'Yahoo' man is dead.. Shammi Kapoor is now in heaven, showing them Hindu Goddesses how to do the twist hola ni. I still have them 7-in-1 classic Shammi collection DVD hehe! He really knew how to live life to the fullest... hope one day, we will be as cool as him hagi!

Let's get back to the story of the day. Anna Hazare plans to do his 'bhog-hadtal' from tomorrow and the Desi government would like to do a RamDev II by sending them Delhi Police to break off his fast sast.

The Delhi Police is putting all kinds of conditions to prevent Hazare and his fans from gathering at them park sark rey.

The Prime-Monster of India, Mickey Mouse Singh has promised to take strict action against them corruption nataks rey and he feels that all them fasting sating natak is not the way to go.. leave it to them politicians and the parliament to sort out the mess rey.

Singh used to be King abuh tuh faltoo joker bhayee sakyo. We all know that Rahul Gandhi, the Desi Kennedy Jr. will be taking over the throne in few years. I guess this is what politics is all about hagi... Nehru and his socialist nataks only made few byapari richer.

Indira Gandhi showed them Desis what would happen if they got themselves a dictator-ni and Rajiv Gandhi should not have given up flying. He would still be alive today and maybe flying them 747s ni.

The Indians should stop blaming the British... baroo blame Nehru and the Gandhis for screwing it up for India. But we all need a hero or a hero-ni.. and Rahul Gandhi has no skills.. his sister can kick his arse rey... but he gets to be the next King of India kyaaruh!

Hazare wants nothing more but a strong anti-corruption ombudsman who can take on them netas. Sixty four years and the ordinary citizens of India are still not free. Them Desis should be proud only when everyone of them has access to clean drinking water, affordable housing and at least a job that pays enough to support their families.

Few urban kids munching on burgers or Ambani and Mittal flying like a G6 is not progress kya. And the same goes for our netas and them chor byaparis. To all them so-called.. Range Rover crowd... don't be proud that you drive around in a Ek Karod ko gaadi and go to Radisson for them gym sym and can fly to Venice to celebrate your wife's new haircut hai.

You should be embarrassed like the rest of us that we live in Kathmandu, where there is no paani, all them batos are filled with matos and come winter, no batti for 18 hours. You can brag to your foreign partners (or dalals) about how rich you are but at the end of the day... you do come from a country where folks make barely 200 dollars a year.

So what do we do? I am not angry that you drive around in them SUVs. Good for you, fake VAT Bills, bribing our civil servants and netas to get them contracts.. you did what you needed to do.. but do something for them poor and needy pani kya.

Them Indians have given our Nepal Army, them 109 new vehicles from trucks to jeeps to whatever. And we happily accept them free gift hampers from the Desis and yet we seem to be so anti-Indians hagi.

I think our netas should stop using them SUVs baroo ask them Desis for 600+ free 'Nano' cars baroo. It's about time, we stop accepting them free buses and what not from the Chinese or them Desis.. why are we acting like beggars kya?

So what if we don't have them buses or trucks or jeeps or whatever... our netas better start riding them bicycles ... and our army should throw away their helicopters and them planes pani. Don't spend millions of dollars maintaining them ni... let them rot ... and at least our so-called netas won't be using them planes and helicopters to fly around the country wasting our taxpayers money kya.

We need our 'Hazare' ... but of course we don't have anyone.. all them civil society leaders happen to be a member of a political party and their only goal is to fly to foreign cities to attend them conferences and receive bhatta satta from them INGOs.

Well, it has taken sixty four years for India to be where it is today. We got rid of our Nepali British-wallahs (Shumshers!) 60 years ago and instead of moving forward, we are just changing our players but they seem to play the same game.

Prachandoo should have visited South Africa when he came out of the jungle and Mandela could have given him some tips hola... Nepal is a country and we are 30 million folks barely surviving.. this is not some political party's playground where their cadres and chamchas get all the candy while we have to fight each other for them cast away wrappers ni.

Prachandoo wants to be a Junga Bahadur... Jungay didn't kill them villagers, school teachers and soldiers kya. He went and got rid of the power players. Prachandoo wants to be a Buddha... Buddha didn't sleep in them lakh-au ko bed (he could afford one.. he was a Prince ni!) and he found salvation through suffering... while you have only made us suffer!

Prachandoo wants to be a Gandhi pani... Gandhi walked all over India. Maybe, Prachandoo should walk from Mechi to Mahakali and see how them people are living... and then he will realize that Mao's tricks never worked in China and it will never work here in Nepal as well.

Emperor Prachandoo is not our savior. He is a clown... he thinks he can fool us by cracking few jokes every now and then and displaying his juggling skills. Comrade, do what you have to do... don't leave us hanging in a coma. You can either turn off the life support or figure out how to bring this country back to life!

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