Friday, August 5, 2011

Spare change for our chors!


Guff Suff: Guffadi / The Week - Republica, Friday, August 5th 2011. For the editor's version, please visit the link given below hai!


What's wrong with our ‘Shikari’ Shambu? Shambu Bharati, the super agent who used to get all them contracts from our great army and police-wallahs…seems to be happy and it’s not Shiva Ratri yet.

I don't know but he seems to find the 'Sudan Natak' as funny as hell. Or he must have bagged some contract to supply them toothpastes to our security personnel. He might get them ‘cheap’ ones from Khasa and make another crore or two hola ni.

Sambhu, we know you have them glittering white pearls but must you be such a smirky jackass? At least act like you are sorry kya. He is seen smiling when he is dragged to prison and then smiles some more as he is escorted out after posting 15 crores ko bail.

I know you are happy to be back home but can you stop smiling like a kid who stole a lollipop from a local kirana pasal? 15 crores must be pocket change for our ‘super dalal’ … he should get all them tender-wallahs and open their own political party baroo.

Then you guys don’t have to kiss them arses, from them netas to civil servants and mundrey goondas kya. And you don’t need to throw money around and no more running to ‘Rubel’ and trying to win him over by giving him some ‘fish’ curry.

And who knows…someday, Shambhu might be a mantri as well. He already has the money and now, he just has to find the right party to take him in kya. And maybe he can then ask Interpol to arrest Rubel, the Bangla-Superman, and finally get the commission he was short-changed ni.

Everybody seems to know that our big three stooges got their share from the ‘Sudan natak’ but this is Nepal, where our netas and their chamchas are always above the law kya. Next time, our tender-wallahs should ask for a receipt when they dole out croroes here and there to our great netas!

Former IGP, Om-ey dai must thank his ancestors and his 11 relatives for their wealth. He is out on bail too. His relatives now plan to sue them media-wallahs for infringing on his privacy rey. I think all the poor ‘Ranas’ should sue Om-ey dai instead. Now, everyone will think that all ‘Ranas’ have 15 crores ko sampati ni.

I think we should bar all ‘rich’ people from joining the civil service.. ki kaso? Only poor people will be allowed to be our public servants. So, when they start building them mansions and grab hundreds of ropanis of land, it will be easier for our CIAA folks to do them math sath kya.

And Jhallu Baba should be already packing his bags, pots and pans as he heads out of Baluwatar, come next Saturday. Well, he has promised to vacate the “prime-monster’s” niwas if he can’t get it right by August 13th rey.

Didn’t he promise to quit earlier? Our netas are like them smokers, who make them new year’s resolution, promising to quit every year. He still has a week left to attend all them inauguration of them new toilets and schools constructed in our remote areas. Yes, fly as much as you can because you won’t get many frequent flyer miles from the state once you are out the door kya.

And Jhallu has doled out 50 lakhs so far to his relatives, chamchas and party cadres rey. Hurry up… you should at least beat Makune’s record of 80 lakhs. Or just go out with a bang and top off Prachandoo’s 1 crore ‘free money’ bumper prize natak! Or if you run out of money then just ask Shambu Bharati. He might have few crores lying around under his bed.

The former Egyptian Pharaoh is now on trial for murder and what not. Mubarak must be cursing himself. If he had been only born in Nepal then he could have ruled for few more years and when his time was up, he could just retire and enjoy his ill-gotten wealth ni.

When will our chor-netas be on trial for all them corruption and destruction of this beautiful country of ours? It will probably never happen because none of them so-called leaders have really tried to change the system.

Our grannies thought that life would change for the better when we got rid of them ‘Maharajas from Lamjung and Kaski’ … it didn’t! We got rid of the Mandaleys and instead we got them Morons and now we have our Mao-buddies and Lord Vishnu is now a common citizen… what’s next?

I don’t know but we have seen them monarchists, socialists and communists … now, we are only left to see them ‘capitalists’ … maybe we will get a dime or two back from our taxes then?

If you would want to read the Editor's version then please visit Republica hai! And once again thank you ... Republica hawties for publishing my guff-suff hehe!

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