Sunday, July 17, 2011

Expensive Drinks, Trinks & Winks!

Every year... our so-called Finance Minister does his Budget Bhaa-sun and we act like he's going to pull a rabbit out of his arse or something. Poor rabbit.... VAT Mohan Adhikari needs to go to Kasi and become a Jogi baroo.. instead of trying to screw us over by getting cozy with the fake-VAT bill wallahs!

So what's new? Nothing.... every year them tobacco and raksi, beer ko taxes go up and you end up paying more .... well, it's a good thing rey.. it discourages them smokers and drunks to either quit or cut down on them bad habits rey!

Yes, baroo raise them taxes by like 1,000% ni... and maybe we can fund our public hospitals and schools kya.. .but it's not going to happen.. this is 'New' Nepal where them 'Old' clowns still run the show and new born babies have no future at all!

If you don't drink raksi then your liver won't explode. If you don't smoke then your lungs won't explode and if you don't drink them sugary-water aka colas... then you won't have to visit the dentist or you won't have to inject them insulin sinsulin rey!

So if you have guests at home.. then just offer them water (boiled & filtered hai!) and if they complain then just make them aware that you don't want any explosion in your house kya... and if they want to drink then tell them to go to the villages and learn how to make the 'local'... raksi!

And them vehicle taxes go up every year... and our roads get new pot holes as well! So kay bhancha correlation ki kay ho ... if taxes go up then all our bato ghato, batti satti, paani saani just FAIL hola ni!

But don't worry.... we have to thank our 74 year old grandpa for doing all he can to kiss them byaparis' arses kya! And we should not blame him .. because all his life.. he has known only one thing... how to raise funds for UML and he's good at it.. .that's why he is a mantri and you are not kya!

And you don't make money for your party by going to the street and begging for alms from the jantas.. you feed the rich (they give you tips!) and you tax the poor kya.. yestai ho yeha ko chalan!

Now, you don't have to show your source of income if you deposit Rs 10 lakhs and don't worry, you can buy them jagga sagga and not worry about it as long as it's under 1 crore rey!

So I guess... instead of buying 100 ropanis and doing some plotting slotting ... just buy a ropani here and there (outskirts ma!) and register it in your driver's name. That's what most of our netas do... hehe!

And thanks to VAT Mohan's new 'economic' policy.. we can now buy them plastic bags for cheap hai... so what do we with all them plastic bags? Well, you can use it as a shower cap hola ni... taruh paani nai chaina... and if you are into them LCD, Plasma TVs .. something like that.. then them taxes chahi ghaw-tey cha hai... so buy all them TVs and when load shedding season arrives to its fullest... just stare at that junk or just cover it with a plastic bora or something!

And now it's party tyam for our netas, their chamchas and all them shady contractors! Enjoy.. have fun.... the Maoists get like 9 billion Rupees.... it's good to be a politician hagi.. so please.. our pickpocket brothers, murderers, hit-men and all them mundrey goondas... just join politics and make billions.. ye sorry... all them cadres are criminals anyway.. so continue to have fun in the sun while we, them ordinary folks eat sukkha bun!


  1. Dear ... ji,

    i'm so glad that i came across this blog. i don know wat to say bt u r simply amazing..i love your every word. thank you very much for all of this.

    Best Regards.

    Ps: Please suggest me some good movies too. I'd be really grateful. :)

  2. @Libran... thanks! I will write a post soon about 'Guffadi's choice' hai... Hollywood, Bollywood and Kollywood sabai ko :)