Monday, July 25, 2011

Another Day in Nepal....

The Unidentified Moronic Losers (UML) are having their national jamboree in Dhulikhel. Hope our so-called communists will get some fresh air before they get back to the city and start back-stabbing each other again.

I think UML should just rename themselves ... LUM (Losers United for Marwaaris).. with due respect to all them hawt Marwaari ladies.. but most of them fake VAT-Bill wallahs do belong to the same club which distributes 'free' drinking water to pedestrians in New Road kya!

Jhallu is still the Prime-Monster and KP Oli and Madhav Kumar Nepal (MaKuNe) won't sleep until Jhallu gets out of Baluwatar rey! C'mon... at least Jhallu won them election selection and was elected from Ilam ni... whereas Oli and Makune lost and how the @#$! did Makune become our prime-monster anyway?

Hamro neta-netini haroo lai laaz sharam nai chaina... it's about tyam someone reminded them that they owe us everything .. and it's not the other way round kya!

Our Mao-buddies have decided to reshuffle their play-list and a new team will be led by former Masal-ey .. Narayan Kaji Shrestha rey. Yes, Mahara must have made enough dough for Prachandoo... he will step aside and Narayan brother will be our new 'Homie' minister rey!

Narayan Kaji lai tuh chitta (jackpot) nai parya ho.. if he hadn't decided to join the Mao-buddies and was still with them Masaleys.. then he would be eating pani-puri in Ratnpark and reading them newspapers while ghaam-taaping!

Now, He gets the #2 position ..... right behind Prachandoo! Them communists go through so many mergers and splits .. it's about tyam we ask them to stand up and tell us .. who is the real 'Slim Shady' and while them PLA soldiers are stuck in them cantonments.... the 'new' Mao-buddies are having all the fun ni!

Five years ago.. Narayan dai used to walk around Kathmandu, wearing faatey-ko looga.. now he dresses up like some Wall Street buda ... ani perfume serfume pani lagaucha rey hamro Gorkha ko hero lay! Hehe... nothing wrong with that... but I expected our Mao-buddies to be all angry communists .... taking the Micro-bus or tyampoo and drinking chiya at the local pasal!

But I was wrong... all of them Mao-netas drive around in SUVs and they like hanging out at them five-star hotels and resorts or if they want to have a party .. then they either meet at Prachandoo's palace or them former mandaley's villa silla.... I guess, two packets of wai wai ani anda sanda is not enough for our comrades!

Top Bahadur will still be a mantri whereas Post Bahadur will be our new Minister for Information and Communication. Now, we need to find Bottom Bahadur .. hope there is one somewhere in Rolpa or Prachandoo can just ask his uncle's second wife's brother's son to fill in the quota ni!

Pampha didi is back .. this tyam as 'Peace' mantri-ni and Hisila didi will look after Land Reforms rey. Pampha didi is Ram dai's (Badal) lover.... she was elected from our neighborhood kya but she is also very sojho. She is surrounded by all them former Pancheys and Congressi ghoos-khori hakim sahebs.

And Hisila didi... she can kick arse but when it comes to heading them ministries... she is like 'I have no freaking idea what I am supposed to do.. so everyone .. just do your own sheet hai'

Yes.. this happened when she was our 'tourism' mantri-ni... I think she should be our 'Education' mantri-ni baroo ... after all she was teaching at Pulchowk Engineering Campus.. she knows a thing or two about education ni!

And the list goes on and on.. so once again... tyam to divert them development funds to your own cadres ni! I hope Dr. BRB will finally get to wear the 'team' captain's band and bring all this so-called constitution writing and peace seace natak to an end kya!

The main scam artist of the 'Sudan' natak .. our former IGP Om-ey dai... should be punished kya! And our former Home Minister, Krishna dai should also be sent to jail ni! I think both of them should be jailed for 290 years and fined 290 million Rupees (Sudan kaan-daw ma ghotala bhaye ko rakam ni!).

And what about Sujata auntie and her sin-in-law Rubel 'Bangla' boy... I don't know .. Sujata auntie should be our next Ambassador to Italy and she can spend her time attending them fashion shows. I hear she's really into them shopping (luxury brands srands) and drinking 'expensive' whiskey chwisky!

Ani Rubel chahi.. well, he made billions of Rupees from them VoIP scam and millions from Sudan natak... so he's all set... maybe he can open his own fashion house after Sujata ends up in Italy... naam chai 'House of Rubble' rakhey hooncha.. saaley daaka!

And it's good to be them criminals in Nepal ... the 'Desi' contract killer who shot at our media tycoon cum fake currency dealer, Ansari dai ... got 5 years in jail and 1 lakh fine rey. Well, he should just get himself them Dish TV thing and watch 'Desi Laughter Challenge' or something.. and he will get tandoori chicken from our Desi Embassy anyway.. so enjoy hai!

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