Friday, September 30, 2011

M&Ms, Hummus & Home...


Published today ...The Week/Republica... the editor's cut!


Dr Saheb is back home and hope he had a productive trip and added new friends on his Facebook page from the recent networking event at the UN.

Like every other Nepali, BRB had to introduce our beautiful country as the land of mountains. I think he should also add a lot more M&Ms or eat some. How about Nepal as a land of mountains, Maoists and morons?

Yes, we have the tallest mountains and our Comrades are back leading the government and everybody else is a moron. Well, that’s what our Kamreds seem to think anyway.

BRB and his better half met with the Obamas. I guess it was a minute or two of smile, click and shoo off session hola. Anyway, if Obama ever invites our PM for a pick-up basketball game, then he should refuse point blank. We can clearly see from the photo that Obamas have the height advantage kya.

Doctor Saheb won’t be welcomed at OR2K, an Israeli-run vegetarian restaurant in Thamel. Why? Because he clicked on the like button of Palestine Statehood Fan Club and the Israeli Embassy will not be sending him any invites for their annual Israeli film festival in Kathmandu rey.

I think our PM should realize that you can be pragmatic and win when it comes to them global political nataks. Yes, our Israeli tourists are a little cheap but they are young, just out of the army and must have saved a few Israeli Shekels to visit our beautiful country ni.

Israel can teach us how to defend ourselves against the other teams on a diet of Hummus and Pita breads.

If we don’t want to learn their fighting skills, then at least we can ask them to teach us how to get billions of dollars in aid from the Amrikis and at the same time get away with not listening to them half the tyam. And Palestine can teach us how tanks can’t really stop the slingshots.

I think Dr Saheb should call the former President of Brazil, Lula, and ask for his advice. Lula used to be an angry young man once. But when he had to lead his country, he understood the realities on the ground and made sensible decisions instead of going back to his old “revolutionary heaven” notebooks.

Or if he wants someone close by, then he can always meet Laloo, the Bihari funny man who did turn around the Indian Railways. Or he just didn’t know what to do, so he left the civil servants alone to do their job hola. Maybe that’s the key to better governance?

And the current partnership of our Mao-buddies and Madheshi netas (M&Ms) is already bearing fruit for our honest “Home” Minister.

Even the late Comical Ali from Baghdad could have never topped his most recent remarks about the earthquake. And now the transferring of incompetent police wallahs by our “hardworking” Home Minister has begun.

And whom do we blame for the recent shooting in the heart of Kathmandu? The “Home” Minister should be lauded for his actions. He transferred the Kathmandu Police Chief right after the shooting.

It didn’t matter that the incident occurred right in front of the Metropolitan Police Commissioner’s Office and not in Hanuman Dhoka.

This shows that he is a very quick and efficient decision maker and hope his recent move will really help Kathmanduites feel safer during the day while you still have to be careful of very friendly and helpful cops during the night.

Dashain is here. Please do remember that gambling and gluttony is not what Dashain is really about. Well, nor did Teej originate at some party palace, either. It’s about time we all went back and read our old schoolbooks hola.

Dashain’s story is about how good wins over the evil. We should never lose hope. One day, the good will prevail, and yes, we have to deal with the inflation, corruption, pollution and what not. But unless we are all united in our fight against “evil” our dream of a “better” Nepal will never come true.

And this Dashain, don’t eat like a corrupt clown who gorges on them bribes. They get to build mansions while you’ll only get heartburns kya. Don’t gamble like our netas do with our lives.

So please follow the “moderation in merrymaking” formula. Protect your health and your wealth as well if you’re one of the few who have any.

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