Friday, October 14, 2011

Not Right Now…. (NRN)

India has Anna Hazare. And we have Baban Singh, our ‘honest’ CA member, who started his ‘fast-unto-death’ natak against corruption in his home district. The fasting began on Monday and it lasted 48 hours. Baban dai could neither stay hungry nor stay foolish hola. It’s hard to forgo a plate of chicken chilly ni.

Our man was once in the ‘most wanted list’ of Nepal Police but they forgot to check his ID when he went to the CA Hall to take his oath. I have no idea what happened to them criminal cases pending against him but he would certainly be a very good case study for them Amriki political consultants hola.

How does one win an election without a single public appearance? I don’t know but my neighborhood political analyst (the local chiya pasal sahuji) tells me that you need bullets and bundles (of cash) to win the ballot rey.

But Baban dai is now a changed man. He is really inspired by Anna and now believes in non-violence which means he is less likely to win another election in the near future even if he makes hundreds of appearances in his district.

The Election commission might have to make changes to the eligibility requirements for people who want to stand up for an election. How about adding something like, ‘people without police cases registered against them or not under criminal investigation will not be allowed to contest an election’ kya.

And in our ‘new’ Nepal, folks accused of murder and other criminal acts seem to have more supporters than our national football team. We have rallies and bandhs in support of the accused while the victim’s family is pressured into accepting financial compensation to forgive and forget. If this is the new trend then hopefully, our prisons might be less crowded in the days to come.

Our President was in Qatar and hope he enjoyed the hospitality showered upon him by the Emirs. Instead of just asking them bideshis to visit Nepal and invest, why not ask the Qataris to help out our national carrier?

Qatar Airways is now one the fastest growing airlines in the world. And our Nepal Airlines Corporation (NAC) will probably be without even that ‘one’ functional plane if it keeps on canceling its flights every other week. Maybe we can save NAC if we sell half of it to private investors or if our sarkari hakims are not willing to do that then we can ask the Qataris to give us a few planes as a gift to commemorate the visit by our President ni.

The NRNs are here. Dr. Saheb kicked off the 5th NRN Global Conference by requesting our NRNs to invest more in Nepal and utilize their skills. Yes, we need more scientists and geeks to contribute kya instead of just the usual, ‘restaurant-travel-handicraft’ sahujis who have settled in them foreign lands.

If we can have the guy who may have found water on Mars to come back and do some research here then who knows, maybe we will find oil in Mustang. If we can ask the ‘TB’ research wallah to take a sabbatical in Nepal then maybe we will be able to find an effective cure for the ‘corruption virus’ plaguing our nation hola.

And our government plans to announce 2012 as ‘Nepal Investment Year’ and maybe we can ask a million NRNs to invest a chunk of their pay check here in Nepal ni. Like Help Nepal’s a dollar a month for charity, we can take it a step further and ask our NRNs to invest their month’s salary.

I think we could be able to raise a few billion dollars hagi and then we pray and hope that our trade unions, civil servants and politicians will not ask for some chiya kharcha to create a favorable investment environment.

It’s not only the NRNs, even we, the ‘Nepal mai Residing Nepalis’ do want to invest in our own country ni. But our netas and the sarkari hakims have failed to win our trust. Either our NRNs are naïve to even want to invest here or maybe they just want to have a party in town every two years and hobnob with our so-called ‘thulo mancheys’ and impress their Facebook friends hola ni.

And what’s up with our NRNs asking our ‘poor’ government for some funding to help them organize the global conference? This one would probably top Mr. Singh’s fasting natak as the joke of the week nai hola.

Our ‘poor’ government can’t even provide basic necessities to its citizens unless you are in some ways affiliated to the whoever is in power ni. Then, you can get free money, fuel and all the perks that come with being a chamcha, cadre or a cousin of the honorable politician kya.

Published today ...The Week/Republica

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