Friday, October 7, 2011

Death of a Salesman...

Steve Jobs is dead. RIP Steve dai... looks like all Facebooking Nepalis will miss you because sabai ko status ma tapai ko naam cha kya.

The one and only tyam I ever bought them Apple products chahi... was back in the late 80s.. my first computer was this thing called 'Apple II' or something and all I did was play some games or type some funny poems kyaaruh.

Steve went to Reed College... I didn't. A friend of mine did but he also dropped out like Steve ... last time I heard, my friend was working in a flower shop during the day, while he designed some hi-tech space-craft during the night kyaaruh.

I think a lot of people think Steve was the hardware guy... he wasn't. He was probably the world's greatest salesman ... although he did falter a few times here and there. Then came the 'i' and the world went crazy with them iPod, iPhone, iPad and what not. Apple will continue to bring out new cool stuff even though Steve won't be there to chew off some engineer's head... hehe!

Yes, Steve had an eye for them sleek designs .... and of course Apple always came up with them cool products pani but he was a rascal kya. Steve became a vegetarian then a Buddhist but his temper semper chahi was always more like a guy who had a cucumber up his arse hola.

Tyestai ho... you have to be a little crazy ni... and all them geniuses are difficult to work with nai. And you also need a very good partner (not as in arkai khaal ko partner ni feri!). Bill Gates had Paul Allen, and our Steve had another Steve.... the 'Wozniak' , the real geek kya.

Like many of them free spirits, our Stevie also traveled to India searching for the meaning of life hola ni. He went back to the states with his shaved head, wearing kurtas, tried some LSDs and decided to name his company 'Apple' .... I still wonder why no other guy from Silicon Valley ever dared to name another company after a fruit tyes pachi kya.

Like many of them founders of them companies, Steve had millions of ideas but sometimes some of them really don't work kya. But he didn't care... he would go off and try it even if it meant massive losses for his company.

But once you go public, you have to answer to them institutional investors, shareholders and all that natak. So the board decided to kick him out. He then went on to start another computer company, NeXT ... it failed... the product was just a decade ahead of its tyam kyaaruh. Then Apple bought the company and Steve was back with Apple feri.

He also started them graphics sraphics company, which became Pixar. But it took a decade to prove that it was worth it when they released 'Toy Story' and you know the rest hola ni.

But the second coming was different. Steve no longer made them engineers cry, he didn't play hide and seek with them geeks. He embraced them and also brought them design-wallahs and instead focused on them electronics kyaaruh.

First came the iPod. Myaan.. the iPod is like ten years old now. There were other similar products in the market but it had sleek design and remember them 'white' ear phones... I guess he knew the consumers' taste even before they knew it .. hehe!

Ani tyes pachi, iTunes... really made them record labels angry ... hehe because Apple ko commission was more than they were willing to give ... but Steve made folks pay up for them downloads ni.

Nearly 8 years ago, Steve was diagnosed with cancer. Khoi tyo kay bhancha pancreas , pancreatic something. First, he didn't want to do them surgery rey but then he decided to get operated instead of just relying on them alternative stuff and ghirau-la ko juice.

One thing we should learn from the kuireys .. chahi... they are not scared of death. Here in Nepal, when folks turn 60... we tell them that they are now old, feeble and tyam for some religious pilgrimage before they drop dead.

But them Kuireys are still driving around town when they are like 70-80 years old (even if it's 20mph tyo pani highway ma... hehe) and doing their own stuff instead of listening to Hindi bhajans and staying in bed all day ni.

And when it comes to dying, they are prepared. They plan their funerals and even change their wills or cross off them folks who pissed them off at the last hour from the 'after-death' party ... hehe!

In Nepal, our doctors tend to hide stuff from the patients. They tell the relatives and the relatives don't tell the patient. They tell him or her that everything is fine and what not. I don't know if that's the right thing to do.... well, you can't tell a 8 year old that he or she is dying but if you are old enough to vote then you should be treated like an adult and you should be informed if your tyam is up kya.

If you knew you would be gone soon... then maybe you would want to visit places that you always planned to (if you can afford it) or eat something you always wanted to try... frog legs are good! We will talk about this some tyam... let's get back to Stevie dai hai.

Steve became a a very rich man when Disney bought his computer animation company for billions of dollars. When he joined Apple, for the second tyam, his salary was only a dollar kya but of course he had them stock options, pachi tyesko value feri billions nai bhayo ni.

Then came the iPhone and it really pissed of them mobile-wallahs... hehe! iPhone has like 5% market share but makes more money from them phones than the rest of the mobile-wallahs! iPhone will keep on selling .... even if Steve won't be there to give his talk salk during them new launches.

Yes, Steve was a kind of a 'one man' show but he was confident that he was the greatest salesman around and even though he lacked patience with anyone who didn't like his faded jeans and them black top ... hehe... he really had an eye for them cool products and sleek designs and that made people wait for hours to get their hands on them new 'Apple' stuff kya.

RIP Steve dai... and to all our entrepreneurs .... please remember his die-log .. "You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them," he once said. "By the time you get it built, they'll want something new."

So ... a word of advice to my friend who is planning to open a new restaurant. No chicken chillies, momos and chowmeins... baroo no menus hai... ask people to come to your new joint, ask them if they are hungry, if they are vegetarian or not and just prepare a dish and feed them... then charge them their month's salary but tyo bill chahi, 'Soon' ko thaal ma diye hooncha.. hehe!

I have no idea what I am trying to say.... innovation... that is the key hola!

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