Saturday, October 29, 2011

Nepal Sambat...

Mao Inc. is probably the richest political-business-mafia organization in Nepal. They are the largest political party, they own all them jaggas in Kathmandu and have invested karods in them media, hospitals, banks and what not. And they also have all them chor-dakas in them YCLs and of course, them trade union wallahs who act like them 'hafta-asooli' dons from Mumbai hehe!

UML is broke. What the hell were Makune and Jhallu Baba doing when they were them Prime-Monsters ni? I guess they just wanted a free 'SUV' and them 'security for life' deal hola. And our Congressis haroo ko pani halat patla kya. The Madeshi parties haroo pani... them netas are now all 'Karod-Patis' while them party sarty tuh tyehi taal ho.

If you want to get into 'Nepali' Politics then your Harvard degree is not enough hai (hehe!), you need to follow the 'Sharad' dai ko formula.

Yes, Mr. Sharad Singh Bhandari can teach our new turks a lesson on rajniti. He was a manadely during them Panchey days. Then he became a 'Kangaroo' and now he is a 'Madeshi' leader.

If you want to survive then you better adapt or else you will fail kya.
Our Mao-buddies are hosting a tea party on October 31st. So if you want a free cup of tea and some samosa, kera and ladoo then please go to Bhrikuti Mandap hai.

The comrades are hosting this tea reception to celebrate Dashain, Tihar, Nepal Sambat and Chhath festivals rey.
Waah rey... sabai Bhramin-Chettri, Newar ani Madeshi haroo lai samatey-ko ho ki kya ho?

Hope they will also host them tea parties during Losar and maybe have a 'midnight feast' during Ramadan kya. Ani balla po huncha tuh... so-called 'inclusive' party hagi.

And even our comrades are celebrating Tihar, playing Deusi-Bhailo .... what's wrong with our communists? Please do participate in them Christmas Carols pani hai.

I guess our Maoists have stopped praying to Mao & Marx ... abuh tuh money & muscles ko khel tuh ho ni.
Dr. Saheb tells us that Nepal Sambat calender will be implemented soon rey. Yes, it's about tyam we got rid of this 'Bikram Sambat' aka B.S. natak ni.

I guess our comrades really want to win the hearts and minds of the 'Newars' in the valley.
Baburam dai must have learned his lesson well. When he was the Finance Minister, he decided to cut down them 'buffalo' budget for them Newar festivals and them folks nearly burned down the valley hehe!

You don't want to piss off them Newars kya. First you make your move when they are all drunk and partying like crazy (yes, Mr. Shah from Gorkha got lucky after the third tyam) and then let them party some more so that they won't hold a grudge ni.

I think we should have 'Nepal Sambat' for cultural purposes ani baroo official kaam saam ko laagi tuh, we should follow the 'Kuirey' calender ni baroo. Look at them Desis, all them civil service dekhi education sabai Angrez kai tuh follow gari raa-cha ni... ramrai garya chan kyaaruh!

And Baburam dai attended them 'Vinutna' function and read his speech in 'Newari' ... accent saccent ruh yeta oota pronunciation ali naw-miley pani... taali chahi khoob pitay chan hamra 'Newar' daju bhai haroo lay.

Padma Ratna Tuladhar, our so-called comrade, human rights wallah got all emotional and was crying rey. He also requested the Prime Minister to speak in them local languages when he attends them 'local' functions across the country.

Lau fasad abuh Dr. Saheb lai.... Losar ma tuh Gurung, Tamang, Sherpa, Rai sabai ko bhasa ahiley dekhi siknay ho ki? And if Baburam dai really thinks that Palestine deserves a statehood then what about Tibet ni? Why are we scared of the Chinese Embassy?

Tyestai durr cha baney Amrika ko command center chahi Rolpa ma rakh-naw dim.. they can co-ordinate their Afghan-Pak operations from here ni.
No, I am not for selling our country but if all them remote areas lai lease ma dim naw.

When the Amrikis leave then we can convert them bases into hotels and what not... British lay hill station haroo banai-diye naw .... baroo Lady Gaga pani au-cha ki ghoom-naw Nepal ma.. hehe!

We can't keep both them Chinese and Desi bhais happy.. so let's get the biggest brother and have fun ni baroo... then who knows... the Amrikan Embassy will give us all them iphones hola ni.. hehe!

Okay, let's get back to the Nepal Sambat.... the Bikram Sambat is all screwed up because it's 2068 now and even though, we seem to be ahead of them kuireys by 57 years... desh ko halat hay-raw nuh.

1132 is more like it... we can say, we still have like 880 years to catch up with them so-called 'bikasit' rastras ni.
Wishing all the Newars, a happy New Year 1132!

It's about tyam, they woke up and kicked some neta haroo ko arses so that we will finally get the constitution and maybe minimize the looting of our state funds by the so-called all-party mechanism nataks!

We need you folks again. Kathmandu ka Newar haroo naw-uthay samma yee neta haroo lay looti rahan-chan.. lau abuh motorcycle rally matra hoina.. Prachandoo ko palace ma gayeruh hisab kitab leem baroo!