Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Billion Dollar Dashain....


How much do we Nepalis spend on Dashain? Our economists have come up with some hisab-kitab. According to our econ majors, we will be spending somewhere around 120 billion Rupees this Dashain rey.

That's like 1.5 billion US dollars kya. And how do we spend it? The rich folks waste it on travel (foreign lands), feasts and buying and drinking bideshi whiskeys rey. I think it's about tyam, our tourism-wallahs asked that Saudi prince to invest in some tourism project.

He was here a while ago.... but I guess our business-wallahs couldn't really convince the shrewd investor to throw some Riyals here. The Arabs are really into them artificial beaches and mountains. Baroo, why not create something like that here ni?

Maybe, Prachandoo sarkar should be visiting the Sheikhs in Dubai instead of visiting the Chinese buffet lunch sahujis kya. Say no to disney-fication of Lumbini... and not all of us are into climbing mountains or walking around them hills for a week ni.

So, I say, we go for the artificial sea beach ... we can ask the Japanese for help. Somebody call JICA .. hehe! Yes, the Arabs can invest it in, the Japanese will build it, maybe we will just run it and our rich folks will get to spend their money, right here in our land instead of making them Thais, Malays and Singaporeans richer kya.


And our middle-class (we have one?) will spend their savings on domestic liquors, khasis and gadgets rey. It's tough to be in the middle hagi. You are always worried about falling down the social ladder and losing status and what not.

I think we should ask the Japanese again to send us some 'artificial' khasis and what not... hehe! Maybe, they can make something out of them tofus and stuff... looks like khasi, tastes like khasi but it's not khasi kya.

Yes, even the middle-class will also visit them artificial sea beach with their artificial 'khasi' lunch pack ni.


The poor will not only use up their savings but will take out loans from them loan sharks to buy some new 'Khaasa' clothes and spend Dashain eating masoo-bhaat all week.

Instead of making our poor sell their lands and fly to the Middle East to dig ditches for a few Dinars... why not train them as life guards, boat-soat pilot and other stuff and give them jobs in our new 'artificial beach' kya.

We really need to learn how to save for better days hola... yes, Dashain should be celebrated but maybe if we decided to go camping (even if it's in your backyard) during the Dashain holidays, then we would be able to invest in some hydropower project kya?

Upper Tamakoshi Hydro Electricity Project ko estimated cost is around 35 billion Rupees ani it will generate like 450+ MW rey. The project is supposed to be completed by 2015. I hope it won't be like Melamchi ko paani.

Late Kishunji promised to bathe us in Melamchi ko paani, and that was like 20 years ago ... and so far they haven't even finished them tunnel sunnel.. hehe! Tyeti bela tuh Kathmandu ko population was around 1 million hola... now it's like 5-6 million. One day, when them paani from Melamchi arrives , we will all get like a cup of water per day hola ni.

Our government doesn't care about them shortages, paani chaina, naw batti nai, food and fuel ko pani tyestai.. so it's about tyam , we do something about it kya.

Arko Dashain chahi, let's all go on a diet. Let us save our money by eating Wai Wai for the whole week of Dashain. Feri Binod Chaudhary nai dhani hoonay bhayo hagi! No gambling, no gadgets, no greasy food sood hai. Let us save our 120 billion Rupees baroo.

If we take the 'Tamakoshi' thing then we could be investing in a 1,200 MW ko project. It might take us another 5 years hola but eventually, we won't be spending billions in candles, inverters, generators ni.

And if we are all investing (millions of people) then I don't think our Mao-buddies would be running around burning our hydropower company ko office ni. Yes, it's all about the numbers kya. If you are weak then our political parties and their chamchas will kick your arse but if you are a million strong then we can also kick some arse hola ni.

Hope you are having a 'fun' Dashain... if not ... just take a nap in the sun (finally no rain!).

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