Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Welcome to Qatar...

Our dear old President, Dr. Ramu is in Qatar to watch some camel races with them Emirs and Emir-nis hola ni. Our 'Hindi' speaking Vice President, Parmey Jha will be the acting Prezzie while he's gone rey.

Our VP used to be a judge once and he was well known in them 'chor' circles... for letting them drug dealers and smugglers go free kya. I guess the UMLs really liked his 'judging' skills and that's why they nominated him hola ni.

And he did create some controversy by taking his oath soath in Hindi. Our folks in Terai don't speak Hindi.. they speak Maithili, Bhojpuri, Tharu etiyaadi but I guess the new 'ID' wallahs from across the border (yes, a million Desis got our nagarikta during them 'GP' days kyaaruh) only speak Hindi ni.

And I don't know who started them tradition kya... where every other mantri and so-called high-ranking sarkaari chors have to see off the head of state. I guess our netas still want to act like them 'Maharajas' hola ni.

I think they should just gather at Shital Niwas and bid him farewell from there instead of creating them traffic jaam by driving to the airport and wasting our money (they get free fuel, security ni) hoinuh ruh?

Hope Dr. Saheb will also ask them Emirs to raise them salaries for our folks, who are working in Qatar. Guffadi estimate is around 300,000+ and no, I didn't include them air-hostesses for Qatar Airways hehe!

Most of our men work in them construction ko kaam saam and they get paid like Rs 10-12,000 a month rey. Ani harek barsa 100-200 jana mur-noo hooncha... from accidents, heat stroke etiyaadi. But our government really doesn't care... manpower agencies make them happy with all them ghoos ni.

Qataris are rich and they have oil, camels and what not and they may dress like our rautey daju bhaisbut when it comes to their airlines and other big businesses, they hire competent professionals, mostly bideshis. Hamro chahi.. NAC has only one functional plane and them NEA and NOC lose billions of Rupees a year while big industries (and even them jantas) steal them electricity or tamper with their meters and our netas and thula hakims get free fuel.

I think it's about tyam we either privatize all our PEs (Public Enterprises) or just shut them down because most of them employees are cadres of them political parties anyway and they get paid to do nothing because most of them PEs are either closed (shortage of raw materials rey) or always on strike kya.

Talking about the NOC, them bastards have once again raised them fuel prices. Petrol is up by 3 Rupees per liter and diesel chahi only one Rupee this tyam... hehe!

NOC is also known as 'Kuwait' in them sarkaari circles because from the peon to them hakim saheb... they do steal here and there and everyone has a pakki ghar in Kathmandu rey. This month, NOC will lose like 800 million Rupees.... that's like 10 million US$.

And even with them revised prices, the loss will still be around 700 million rey. I think we need someone like that 'Bista' kaji, our former Energy Minister. We need to ask them governmental agencies to pay back them 'fuel' bill and also stop providing free 'fuel' bhatta to every other neta in town kya.

Our government thinks that it is doing us a big favor by subsidizing them fuel suel.. baroo tyehi international market price ma bech-noo ani neta haroo lay pani afai kin-ney ani hami lay diye ko 'free' SUVS ma tel sel haalney ni.

KUKL (that's what the valley ko khaney paani is called) tells us that it has to revise them paani ko paisa pani. Even the NEA's been asking for revision. It's been more than a decade rey.... we are still paying the same as we did back in the late 90s kya.

If they promise to give us batti and paani 24 hrs a day then I think we should happily pay them 'new' prices ni.... but tyehi ho... feri, kay kay bahana banau-cha ani janta lai woo-ll-oo banau cha kya.

Real Juice is back in the news again. I feel sorry for this Indian company. They were running some contest where you could SMS and win them trips to their factories or even a trip to Singapore etiyaadi. Now, them media wallahs tell us that some woman found a worm in them Real juice rey.

I think them 'Real juice' wallah should come out with a new drink baroo. Them juice suice ko prices went up by 75% thanks to our former Finance Minister, VAT mohan and his whiskey drinking buddies. Them raksi ko prices went up only 10-11% .... so why not get into this 'raksi' business.

Real can sell them 'tequila' hola... and they don't have to worry about them worms then... hehe!

RIP uncle Jagjit Singh.... didn't know he was 70... so I guess we should call him (late) 'Grandpa' Singh. Ghazals used to be a big thing in Kathmandu during the early 90s. Before our chor sarkari hakims decided to grant permission to them dakas to open them dance bars, we had ghazal bars in every corner back then... hehe!

And no.. there weren't any dancers and over-priced drinks kya... really talented singers would sing them 'Ghazals' and folks would come to hear them songs and drink their sorrows away rey.

Everybody's uncle or big brother or sister had them 'Jagjit Singh' ko album salbum.. especially them hubby-wife combo thing. Well, you can Youtube Jagjit paazi (I think that's a very 'respectful' word in India hai!) and listen to them great songs hai.

Abuh feri tyehi Qatar kai kura garoom... hope someday, our men won't have to go to Qatar and work like slaves ... baroo our President should ask the Qataris to invest in Nepal. Yes, we can introduce camel racing here ni.

I don't think they would want to invest billions of dollars ... be it them hydro sydro or highways because everybody now knows that Nepal is the land of 'bandhs' ... baroo if they can send us them camels then maybe, we can ride a camel to work hola (with due respect to them 'Animal' NGOs in Nepal... we will feed them camels well and take care of them kya) ... ki kaso?

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