Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Shutdown again.. and again!

Another bandh again... this tyam by our hero, Matrika Dai, the Mao-buddy comrade who told Prachandoo to '@#$! off' and formed his own party in Terai kyaaruh! Matrika Dai used to be our 'Slapping Mantri' when the comrades were heading the government.

Matrika was a real comrade! He didn't drink Black Label or gorge on chicken chilly like our great chairman. He would drink doodh-chiya and have moori all day and go around town slapping them civil servants kyaaruh!

Now, Matrika is busy with his 'hafta-asooli, pataka-dhamaka' acts in Terai.... kay garne... the Nepali Rajnikanth lai Mao-party ma kunai role bhaye-naw rey! So, finally he gets to do a bandh in Kathmandu! Lau badhai cha hai!

The President of 'All Nepal United Conspiracy Theorists' (ANUCT) tells me that after May 28th, we will have a President's rule rey! So... he asked me if I knew any army majors from the local camp so he could go there and play ping pong.. hehe!

But our dear old President is like 'Naah.. I ain't playing the DJ kya' ... so I guess... we will just have one more year of 'dance party' for our CA members! But the Madeshi Forum folks have split again and if we don't have two-third majority to extend the CA's term then fasad parcha ni!

Our Mao-buddies are running around town trying to throw some $$$ at the small parties rey! And they are offering our Congressis .... like.. 50 crores so that CA gets its one year extension and tyes pachi mili-juli sarkar banau-ney rey.. which means.... share the loot by dividing them ministries but then Congressis would like the 'Home' ministry. We all love home ... don't we?

Prachandoo wants to be the prime-monster again, Matrika would like to start a slapping campaign ... well if he did then, he could get a million party members hola! Sujata auntie would like to get a ministry so that she doesn't have to spend her days, drinking whisky and doing a dance number for her Marwari boyfriend!

Ani what about us? We just want these bandhs to end so that we can go to work, school or if you are a mundrey goonda then you can go to them tender-sender places and get some dough for all them sword-fighting demonstrations ni!

Yestai ho.. Naya Nepal ma.... we only know how to shutdown .... maybe we should ask Bill Gates to come down to Kathmandu and give our netas and their chamchas a crash course on ... how to turn on the computer or something kya!

If shutting down the valley is the solution to all them problems.. then how about shutting down the whole country for another year till our corrupt clowns get done with this constitution (writing) thing... hoinuh ruh?

And we can all pack our bags and go for a year long trekking srekking kya.... abuh 1 million tourists are not coming so... let's all pitch in and climb them mountains, go rafting safting, hiking siking and make NTY 2011 a success!

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