Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Happy 'Buddha' Day.....

What can we learn from Siddy Gautam? I don't know ... I am not a Buddhist scholar or something... you must ask them foreign monks in Lumbini for them answers hola! Lumbini today is like them Disneyland for the Buddhists from them Asian countries!

They have their own monasteries, guest houses and what not.... and the Lumbini Development Trust ka board members are all raking in some moolah whenever they sign them deal seal with them foreign Buddhists to build them monasteries and what not!

Today we are not here to talk about who made what... let's talk about Siddy Dai! Yes, for some of you Buddha is a God, prophet or a spiritual guru .... for me, he is my local hometown hero and I think I can get away with calling him a Dai ... hehe!

I was born few miles away from Lumbini (see we are from the same neighborhood so he is my 'thulo' dai!) ... but I am not like Buddha... I neither have the Buddhi nor the body kyaaruh... did you know Siddy Dai had a six-pack thing?... yes, that's true kya!

Anyways, what can we learn from Sid Gautam? Sid had everything .... he was a prince ni... but then at 29, he had them mid-life crisis... (even before he turned 40!) and decided to let go.... his family, his friends , all them 'hi-fi' palace life sife etiyaadi!

At the age of 35, he finally attained 'enlightenment' ... so all you folks, who are in rush to save the world or work for UN or them World Bank or get your buttocks tattooed before the age of 25.... relax kya!

Make all them mistakes, screw up and go astray ... until 35 ... then after that, you write a book about your 'happy days' and try to get Penguin India to publish your stuff...hehe! If not, meditate for 49 days and be the 'awakened one' hooncha!

So what can we learn from Buddha? "Material wealth is not life's ultimate goal..." tyesai karan lay .... our netas can never be 'Buddha' kya... even though Prachandoo goes around town, trying to convince us that he is a combo of 'Buddha-Junga Bahadur-Hitler' ... bichara, someone should tell him ... he is just another bloke who really suffers from dissociative identity disorder!

Prachandey can never be Buddha! But he can try and be like Hitler... he can't be Junga Bahadur either... because he doesn't have 17 brothers ni! And he doesn't know sword-fighting and has no equestrian skills!

Can Prachandoo jump off Daharara? No! Can he fight a tiger? No! He doesn't even want to share his power, money and muscles with Baburam... at least Jungey decided to grant stock options to his brothers... haha!

But... it wasn't a smooth transition... the Dhir Shumshers decided to go on a rampage and killed everyone else and they are still having fun .... but that's a different story ni! The Mao Inc. is not a political party anymore... it is the biggest crime syndicate in the country kya!

Baburam is getting them death threats from Prachandoo's crew rey ..... if Baburam is not safe in Kathmandu then I guess.. we better pack our bags and leave for Rolpa hola! Yes.. but before we move to Rolpa, better contact Mahabir Dai and get them wi-fi installed hola... so that we can update our facebook status ni!

Baburam wants to die like Bhimsen Thapa ... I say, Dr. Saheb.... No! Be a 'Buddha' ... you eat like Buddha ... two rotis and sabji every night while Prachandoo loves them 'Buff' sukutis with his Black Label rey! You meditate a lot and would rather go to Pulchowki, make a tree-house and spend your days reading books sooks while Prachandey likes to go to them resorts or he just loves BDSM!

I am not talking about them "erotic practice and expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy role-play" kya! He loves to go to Bangkok, Delhi, Singapore and Malaysia (BDSM) bhannaw khojya ho!

Whenever Prachandoo meets his 'foreign' masters, he must be very submissive hola...hehe! But when he come backs and then he is all that dominant sheet ni! It's all a part of them BDSM natak kya!

Okay, enough of Prachandoo ko gau khaney katha haroo.... Happy 'Buddha' day to all of us and hope we will all be like him someday.... if not .... at least follow his formula for enlightenment kya! What is? At the end of the day ... 'It's all about nothing' .... hoinuh ruh?

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