Saturday, May 14, 2011

Chalo Dilli...

You know your career is nearing its end when you have to produce a film so that you can be the leading actor or actor-ni... unless you are Aamir Khan and his '40 is the new 20' thing!

Lara Dutta is a beautiful woman but Desi men don't like them strong women kya! It was the same case with Sushmita Sen ni! So, Lara ... you should either change your accent (be like Katrina!) or if you have to spend your own dough then make a movie on 'Mayawati' or the recent winner in West Bengal, 'Mamata didi' ... hehe!

Chalo Dilli is another of them 'road-movie' type... well it starts with a plane then comes the car, then a truck, then a camel-ride and then off on a train and finally.... that's about it!

And before ... all Desi hero-nis used to be them 'home science' students ... they knew how to cook, sing and were shy Indian girls! Now, our Bollywood hero-nis are all investment bankers! And they have no time for lob-sob or family rey!

When did the hero-ni become the villain ni? Before, them hero-hiralals used to be them tapori types... nowadays... them movies don't have heros...just clowns trying to get lucky with a smart, indepenent wonder-woman kya!

Anyways, Lara Dutta is an investment banker and she has no tyam for faltu stuff.... work, work and work! Then she gets on a plane to Delhi so that she can see her husband and instead of celebrating her birthday .. she plans to fly to Amrika for them business meeting seating! Ani we have, Bat Man's desi cousin, the 'Fat Man', who happens to be a sano-tino businessman in Delhi!

The plane is diverted to Jaipur and the movie begins. She gets a car, the driver is a jackass and our fat man joins the trip and then they face them problems everywhere! Our businessman likes to burp and fart while he eats while our hero-ni acts like she was the 'Queen of England' in her previous life kya! I mean.. she acts like she is the Maharani of Jaipur!

Then we go on a journey .... while Lara acts like the Queen of Jaipur... our 'fat' man is just having a bawl ... he is used to the 'Indian' way where things can and will go wrong but you just make the best of it and just move along kya!

Let us also not forget the 'item' number... why do them Desi movies have to have one item number kya? Next tyam .... instead of them 'one woman' dancing and bunch of taporis drooling.. why not have like a 'one man' dancing and all ladies whistling and throwing Rupees at him.. hehe!

And instead of meeting interesting characters, they meet few crooks here and there till Lara's husband, Lt. Col Akshay Kumar (must have done this movie for free even if it's just a guest appearance thing!) rescues them!

At the end of the day, Lara realizes that her work and her 'hi-fi' natak is not worth it. She will celebrate her birthday with her husband and her new friend and that's how the movie ends!

Next tyam, if Lara Dutta wants to spend her own dough then please do make a 'Super Hero-ni' movie kya! How about a Desi Wonder-Woman... or a hit-woman for the Mumbai mafia or an investment banker who leaves her job and her six-figure salary to join the Desi Maoists and becomes the commander-ni or something?

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