Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Visit to the Doctor...

My pet set (stomach!) began rumbling few weeks ago! I don't know if it was them vyar vyar mo:mos or them bhatti ko moola ko achar but big trouble did begin in Little China. Ye... tyo movie chahi daami cha. If you die before watching 'Big Trouble in Little China' then you should ask for a special edition DVD when you are up there kya...hehe!

Anyways... tried metro-400 .. didn't work... tried them other pet-dookhney bela khaney dabai ... didn't work! Finally, I went to the antibiotic-wallah doctor because my witch-doctor went missing ... with the local co-operative ko paisa!

No... he went to Saudi Arabia because folks couldn't afford them 'kukhura' ruh 1.5 ltr ko 'kodo' ko rakshi... rey!

Went to Alka Hospital... last tyam it was only Rs 250.00 for them ticket sicket... but since the Cricket World Cup... the entry fee has also increased @ Alka. Now, it's 325.00 rey! Hamro desh ko economy barsa ma 4% lay pani baw-de-ko chaina.. Alka ko fees chahi 30% lay baw-de-cha!

The ladies @ them counter sounter ... all dolled up ... as if they were getting ready for them film shooting hooting after the end of their shift hola ni! And then they ask them funny questions... kya!

'Kay Bhayo?'

'Pet Dukhyo!'


'Khoi... hijo ko bhutey ko bhaat lay hola!'

'Lau... tyeso bhayo Dr. KC lai bhet-noos... Block C'

So if you have had a 'fried rice' then you get to meet Dr.KC and the Sunshine Band... haha!

Dr. KC dresses up like them sarkaari hakim sahebs... without the Nepali topi! He looks like someone who is them 'Airport' ko hakim kya!

He took my BP.. fine.... then started pressing my tummy as if he was playing them notes (piano siano ma!) kya!

'Dook-cha Dookcha?'

And you should not laugh at the doctor when he's trying to see if you can feel the pain sain somewhere....

'Lau.. yo khanoos.. ani macha masoo naw-khanoos'

Our Nepali doctors don't smile at all. They act like they have something stuck up their arses... if it was the kuireys then they would be ready with their stand-up routine kya!

Then went for them stool test... everything was okay! Took them med sed ... but my pet was still not okay! For the last 10 days... I have been spending every night ... @ my office (tatti-palace!) and once it starts ... I feel like I am working out for them 'Iron Man' competition or something.

I hope my neighbors don't think I am lifting weights in the middle of the night.. when they hear me... 'ugggh aaahhaa ooooh eyeee' ... hehe!

And the whole neighborhood now knows about my 'petty' problem.. haha! The taxi driver, Bishnu is like ... 'Dai, tyo Koirala ko jhol lay thik garcha' ... okay need to call up Sujata auntie and her if she has them jhol sole hola ni!

The 'UN' Dai (he works for them UN*** something).... 'Bhai.. yo gas-tick sas-tick ho.. tyam ma khana khanoo!'

The local Don tells me... 'malai pani yestai bhaa-thyo ... ani ch**k pani pole-cha ho?'

And the #1 'gas-tick' wallah (he has had them 'petty' problems since them 2046 B.S. ko Jana Andolan.. haha!) tells me 'Daktar saktar chod-dey... tyo Baidya ko au-sadi khaa... ' I think I should call comrade Mohan Baidya and ask if he has some herbal medicine.... because he looks like he also got them upset tummy .. haha!

Went to Dr. KC again... and then he referred me to Dr. Kashyap.... and the gastro-maestro doctor took my BP and then pressed my tummy as if he was trying to make some sookha-roti ... ani harek 30 secs ma uha ko cellphone bajney.. kay taal ko!

Anyways.. now I have them 5 days ko med sed.... and I hope it works because if it doesn't then Dr. Gas-tick tells me .. 'We will have to do a candid camera up your arse...' .. lau maryo... heard of them endoscopy natak .... but never heard of them condo-scopy stuff... haha! (sounds like someone is looking for them great condominium deals somewhere in Miami.. hehe!)

I would like to thank my beautiful nurse, Lalita for being there for me... and my tole basi-z for scolding and scaring me with them 'pet dookhing then it must be...' horror stories!

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