Friday, April 29, 2011

The Royal Wedding..

30 years ago, Prince Charlie 'Long Ears' married Diana Spencer. He was 31 and she was 19 kyaaruh! And the marriage didn't last long ... around 15 years! Charlie liked to talk to plants and eat chawan-paras every night! He now has the 'Camel' with him! Oops.. sorry .. didn't mean to be so harsh... but Charlie and Camel-a seem to be very happy sappy...hagi!

Today, Prince William will finally marry Kate (for ordinary citizens!) or Catherine (for the so-called blue-bloods!) ... and the wedding ko bill is around 80 million pounds rey! The British government will be providing security (20-25 million pounds kharcha) ... aroo chahi .. will be paid for by them Royals and Katie's parents (well 99% tuh Hajur-ma Elizabeth lay nai bay-hoar-ney rey!)

Anyways, Gyanu Uncle should learn a thing or two from this! When he became King G.. he raised his bhatta from 10 crores to 60 crores a year! What if .. he had said '@#$! it.. I ain't taking a dime from the government .. I can pay my own bills!' .. maybe things would not have turned out the way it did!

Our Royals never understood how to play the game even though they sent their kids to Eton or some school in Amrika or UK .. should have learned a thing or two from the British monarchy ni!

If you are a King Singh then act like a King kya.. don't act like politicians... the British monarchy has survived because they talk to plants, wave here and there and ride horses now and then!

Prince William is marrying a commoner .. okay her parents own their 'party-planning' business ani million sillion bank sank ma cha rey and isn't it great that Willie can marry Katie and Queenie granny don't have a problem with it ... and no astrologers and Royal priests to see them stars and moons and all them crazy jpt BS!

If only our late Queenie didn't have a problem with late Dippy Dai marrying his girlfriend.. then we wouldn't have had to listen to Gyanu Uncle's boring speeches and he would have been better off as a byapari but Paras Dai would still be doing his hawai-fire hola...hehe!

I think Prince Harry will be like our Paras Dai minus the 'hawai-fire' natak.. he will probably be running naked around Buckingham Palace, wearing a sock or something .. haha! And he might just go bungee jumping Thames ma!

Well, I am not saying Paras Dai did them stuff but British are eccentric ni.. we , Nepalis are ...well, we like to get rowdy when we are drunk and that's about it!

We are one of the poorest country in the world kyaaruh ... but our so-called thulo-mancheys all act like they descended from the House of Windsor or something... thanks to them caste system, we are still stuck in them 17th century and this 'jaat' thing won't go away soon ... unless we all get numbers instead of them jaat saat.. like .. 'Hello, I am Guffadi 144' and would like to marry your daughter 'Saani 187' or something like that .. kya!

And it's okay for them khandaani folks to marry kuire-nis or kuireys but all hell will break loose if your daughter or son plans to marry someone who happens to be a different jaat.... nice thing about them kuireys is that they don't have jaat bhaat.. well they have their SUVs and the 'right' schools but at least if you work hard or go to right schools and hang out with the right crowd... you get to enjoy your life as a capitalist pig kyaaruh!

Here in Nepal, you work, study and play hard but at the end of the day, if you are them 'sano' jaat then you will always feel like an outsider ... sorry .. not feel.. you will always be 'the' outsider kya!

While Prince Willie gets married to Catherine ... the whole world will be watching ... and so will all them bald men as well! It doesn't matter if you are a Prince or a just another bloke... we, men worry about our hair kya! Nothing wrong with being a taalu... but you know... male ego ki kay bhancha ni.... haha!

Anyways, Congrats to the future King of England and Queen Catherine ... I think they won't split like Willie's parents because they have known each other for a long tyam .. and have broken off few times...but Katie will have to learn how to be them 'Royal' ... .act all snooty wooty hola ni!

And no work as a party planner hola... or she can just write her blog slog everyday... hehe!

The problem with Charlie and Diana ... well, he was 31 and she was just a teenager... baroo 21 bhaye chahi khaas problem hoodai-naw thyo hola! Well, Willie is 28 and Katie is 29 ... so it probably will be a good marriage hola! Anyways, Hope Her Majesty and her German clan will continue to get them bhatta satta from the British government for many more years to come!

And let us not blame our Royals pani... look at them Prince and Princesses, Charlie got divorced, so did Andrew and them buharis are always doing something stupid and crazy..hehe!

Now, Paras Dai needs to quit smoking, drinking and driving and firing .. haha.. baroo, go run the Everest Marathon or since every so-called Kathmanduites are now into cycling.. get on a bike and race around town ... be fit sit ni! And someday, who knows... he will still be alive to see his son as the King of Nepal hola.. well there will always be that 'will they come back' question as long as our stupid netas act like juvenile delinquents kyaaruh!

And talking about our British Raani, Queenie will probably live for another 10 years hola... the Queen Mother lived to be 100 something hoinuh ruh! And Charlie boy will not be King.. he will be Prince of Wales and plants and herbs!

So... come 2020.. them British will be singing 'God Save the King' hola ni! And for our netas... they will be singing 'Singh is King' for few more years then let's see who becomes them Desi prime-monster... then we will have new national anthem feri.. haha!

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