Monday, April 4, 2011

Teachers Needed....

The Maoists have formally launched their 'take-over Nepal 2011' campaign... with their "People's Volunteers" ko ud-ghatan karyakaram! 500,000 youth will be mobilized for them People's revolt rey!

Once again.. we have a kuire-ni to teach us about them 'volunteer' stuff! I think the Maoists should learn a thing or two from Barbara Adams. Who is she? She was then King Mahendra ko bhai ko mistress kyaaruh but she loves Nepal more than our netas do... and I think she should be our next President kya!

Baroo ali badi kuirey tourists haroo aucha ki? Khoi... Bryan Dai lay tuh kohi pani patha-yenuh... hehe! Anyways Barbara Adams is a Nepali citizen now... like Sonia Gandhi is Indian bhanya jastai... taruh late Gopal Bhutani Dai lai pani tyo nagarikta diye hoonthyo.. hamro neta haroo lai chahi NRI (Desi) passport diye hooncha!

Bryan Adams lay hamro paisa liyeruh gayo... Barbara Adams lay chahi Nepali nai paisa dinnuh cha-hawn-chin rey!

If you join the Mao ko volunteer group, you will probably get to eat baasi khana, drink contaminated water, sleep on the street and do some naara-baazi and zoo-loos but if you join BPF (Barbara Peace Foundation), then you get to go to the remote areas , work with the villagers for a year and when you get back to the city... you get paid Rs 150,000.00 rey!

And not to forget... you get to eat them fresh sabji, aloo , bathe in them khola and also learn more about your own country ni!

BPF ko yo 'gau jau, kehi gaw-ruh' campaign is called 'Youth Volunteers Nepal' (YVN)... baroo yes lay chahi kehi hola jasto cha hai! Maobadi haroo sabai sahar maa... ani city kids haroo sabai gau ma holan tuh abuh!

Barbara has been in Nepal since them 60s kyaaruh.. and the last tyam I saw her.. she was hanging out with the crowd near BICC ... that was in 2008!

And our traffic police have decided to invite celebrities rey.. to give them traffic-wallahs some pep talk and also share their experiences about how they were treated (badly) by them traffic-wallahs!

Ani celebrities bhanda .. tyehi group nai ho, young netas like Jhakri and Gagan-ey, Ma-Ha jodi, Miss this and Miss that haroo ... hahah! I thought it was only them taxi drivers, micro-bus and bike-wallahs haroo ... who get harassed by the sheet-ee-wallahs!

Whenever there is them police checking... if you are on them private vehicles.. then you can just drive through but if you are in a taxi or them bikes .. then our police-wallahs will perform their stand-up comedy routine or two... haha!

Once, I was coming back from Durbarmarg... the police stopped the taxi and checked my bag sag and then began asking them funny questions!

"Kaha bata aako?"

"Durbarmarg baatuh?"

"Ye... Raja lai bhet-naw gaako?"

I think somebody forgot to tell him that Gyanu Uncle doesn't live in Narayanhiti anymore and he is no longer them King Singh kya!

"Ani Kaha jaa-naw laako?"


"Kaha ho ghar?"

I think these guys never watched them 'CID' on Sony TV hola ni! I think our men and women in blue should watch them Desi Cop Shows kya! Abuh Amriki show hay-ray-raw khaas kaam chaina.. amriki haroo sangaw pistol hooncha, hamro chahi baas ko danthaa!

I think this (Nepal police ko Q&A) is probably worse than them Amriki Embassy ko question haroo kya! Do you or have you or will you .. ever be involved in them tero-ris organization?

Once upon a tyam in Amrika, a nepali boy jasko last name chahi... Khanal was picked up by them FBI folks... yo tyo plane slane lay tower haney ko bela ko katha ho! Ani FBI ko agent dumb-ass asked him ... .'Have you met Bin Laden?' or 'Do you have any anti-Amriki bichar-dhara?' ... poor Khanal!

Agaadi ko chaar wata letter (Khan) paw-dey cha FBI ko computer lay... pachadi ko paw-dya bhaye jhan bey-haal hola ni.. haha!

Nowadays... I just give them answers even before they open their flithy mouth south!

My name is Guffadi. I am the chairperson of Guffadi Youth Club. I live in ******* and I am going home from work. Yes I know.. it's 2 in the morning and .... (I open my bag) ... show them my laptop (as if I am working for some IT company!) !

It takes only two minutes.... (Maggi!) and then they just stare at me. Laamo kapal pani chaina, mundra pani chaina.. lau janoos janoos! As if I really want to stay there and ask for them soorti and a quarter of 'Virgin Whisky' .. hehe!

And Nepal maa chahi.. always tell them cops.. you are a chairperson of this or that... just make up something ... like ... 'Muh Barbara Peace Foundation ko Aew-dak-shya' ... he will be like ... 'okay.. I have no @#$!ing idea what that is but you can go!'

We need someone to teach our netas that 'C' is for constitution and not corruption. We need to teach our sarkaari hakims that he or she didn't get that 'Master's' ma gold medal so that he/she can kiss some neta's arse... just resign and join Rameshwor Khanal kya!

We need to teach our micro-wallahs how to drive... you are not on a bike and it's not okay to drive like you are suffering from jhaada-pakhala and you need go to the hospital ASAP kya! Baroo tyesari chalau-ney ho bhaney... then drive an ambulance ni!

We need to teach our bike-wallahs that them pavement savement haroo hid-nay manchey ko laagi ho.... not their 'fast-lane' track kya! We need to teach our taxi-drivers that they drive a taxi and their job is to take us where we want to go and not charge us 'double'...

We need to teach our Police-wallahs... how to behave, speak like decent human beings and do their duty because we pay their salaries (hamrai paisa tuh ho ni) so that they can protect us ... not harass us kya!

Yestai ho... Jhallu-Baba was once a school teacher.. and today, he is the prime-monster... abuh teacher lay nai kehi sikya chaina rahecha.. haha... hami lai kaslay sikauney?

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