Friday, April 8, 2011

Dude... Where's My Bike?

Two years ago, my friend went to them wedding party @ Yak & Yeti! But them wedding party ko khana sana suck even @ them five-star hotels! Well, he had them soup woop rey and then he left the crazy senior citizens dancing to 'Desi Gal'... but he couldn't find his bike rey!

He asked them guards... they were busy doing nothing so they really didn't know what happened to his bike sike! He went to them hotel ko front desk ... they were also busy doing nothing... and the hotel was not responsible for them parking sarking rey! Lau... five-star hotel baatuh bike nai chori... and it was my friend's responsibility to make sure that he had few land mines around his bike kya!

A year ago, another saathi went to Annapurna Hotel. I think he went to them casino to gamble samble hola! Ani... biha-naw ko 3 bajey .. bike nai chaina! Yeta gayo oota gayo.. same answer... yes, it's our space but you are responsible for your own bike ni!

Both had them insurance sin-shoo-rains .. but tyo insurance company haroo ko investigation chahi ahiley samma nai jaari cha rey! I think the best thing to do would be ... just take off one of them tyres and carry it along with you. And if your bike gets stolen then file a complaint at the Indian Embassy because only Rajnikanth can pull that stunt... riding away.. tyo pani pachadi ko tyre matrai bhaako bike.. haha!

Yes, people will probably think you are crazy... walking into some hotel or party palace or conference meeting seeting with a tyre and a jhola... haha! So if you are into them customization nataks.. then ask them 'James Bond' people to fit them gadgets... so when the chor gets on your bike, them nail sail just pops out and punctures his balls or something!

A week ago, my uncle had his bike stolen from Chitwan. But he lives in Pokhara.. and I was like 'Mama-ji ... does your bike ride on its own like Rajnikanth's?' ...

Well, Mama-ji had gone to Chitwan for some relative ko chora ko barta-bandh rey! Then he had to catch them local bus back to Pokhara .. and what about his bike? 'Maile maya maari sakey' ... what? ... 'I have already killed Maya!' ... if somebody hires me to translate their Nepali novel to Angrezi then this is what it will be like..hehe!

Every year, thousands of bikes are stolen in our 'New' Nepal... and our great Police-wallahs recover like hundreds hola... so what about the rest kya? Well, our so-called armed outfits, YCLs and even them men in blue are busy riding them 'stolen' bikes! Yestai ho... chor haroo lay choreko bike nai chalau-ney tuh ho ni!

So... next tyam... if you really need them bike sike then get a scooter. Sha-maan pani haal-naw milney, and bike bhanda scooter chahi kum nai chori hooncha rey!

Muh chahi.. I am still in love with them Safa-Tyampoos... I hate them Micro-wallahs but khaas choice pani chaina.. ani now and then .. when I am in a hurry to get me some curry then I get into a taxi and then I try to figure out ... how much them meter seter has been tweaked bhaney-ruh... haha!

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