Friday, April 22, 2011

Perform This Way...

I have been suffering from pet-dooking for a month now... yes, should not have tried them local vyar vyar momos six days in a row! Then went on to try them local bhatti ko moola ko achar and aloo dum!

Tyes pachi, pet kaatney, spending two hours meditating (bathroom ma!) every morning and evening ... finally after a week or two, I went to the doctor. The doctor was on crack... tried them antibiotics, jooga maarney, pet ko kira maarney ... khoi kay kay maarney pills ho!

Then went to the gastro-maestro ... tried another antibiotics and feri kay kay maarney dabai.. didn't work.. finally he said... 'How about running them pipe sipe up your arse!' ... I said , 'No, let's try this med for a week or two and see ni...'

Well, the med didn't work.. so finally had to get them powder and drink it up and then go to the bathroom for like .. 9 and 1/2 tyams! Then went to the clinic for the 'colon' video night! The nurse asked me to lift my green Irish gown...and then she sprayed something there and it hurt like hell... like tyo bee sting bhanda pani badi!

Waited for the daaktar... he was busy somewhere. Ani guff suff gardai... the nurse is just 21 and she lives in Dhapakhel. She has finished her something medical assistant training rey.

"Abuh nursing pawdney ni..."

"Khoi... hay-room.... kay garney thaha bhayenaw."

"Abuh kay hare-nay ni... Bsc Nursing garney ni..."

Ani... usko boyfriend ko phone ayo... and she was busy kyaaruh. Then the so-called doctor ko assistant.. the guy who cleans them pipe sipe, machine showed up.

"Ani training lay-ko ho yo machine chalau-naw?"

"Kaha Dai... bhakkar 1 mahina bhayo... maw tuh BBA first year pawd-dai choo!"

"Ho ruh.. lau, ani kay sikyo tuh .. feri cycle ho hawa bharney pipe sipe naw-ghoosau mero pet vitra..."

"Haha.. mailey ghoosauney hoinuh, Daaktar saheb lay garney ho!"

Then the doctor showed up. He started his thing... and in a few seconds, I could fill them air inside my large intestine kyaaruh... and it hurt... he was busy looking for something and after 15-20 minutes of hawa inside my intestine and hurting... he finally got done and said.. 'Khoi, kehi chaina... sabai ramrai cha...'

"And don't drink milk and no wheat sweet .. and that's it! "

"I really want to eat them double choclate cake .. real bad and I want some chicken tandoori too."

"Hooncha, khanoos... but also take this medication as well and let's see for a week or two and if it doesn't help then we will do them endoscopy and biopsy and what not!"

Okay... so now I have to take them capsule and some powder every tyam I eat something and if this doesn't work then I really am thinking of going to them Ram Dev Baba ko yoga stuff and try them vaidya ko dabai.. hehe!

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