Saturday, April 16, 2011


Bollywood has always been good at cut & paste job from them Hollywood movies! And them Desis will be like .... 'eet eez nawt a kaapi , eet eez ins-perspiration yaar' ... and F.A.L.T.U. is just anothe remake of them Hollywood ko arko jpt comedy kyaaruh!

Fakirchand and Lakirchand Trust University (FALTU) rey... haha! India is a big arse country and we may have like 70 different ethnic groups but them Desis have like 7,000 +! Manchey ko naam pani kay kay ho.... screwdriver, tinwalla, tiffinwala, jhoom-jhoom-walla.... oops, I guess it's only them Parsi names..hehe and then our South Indian friends have them long names kya... first name, then father's name, village ko naam, baje ko bhai ko bhaisi ko naam and so on!

Then we have Laloo, Babloo and once I had a friend from Calcutta.. his name was Tariq Aziz! Hehe.. yes, them same name as them Iraqi Foreign Minister during Saddam Dai ko pala ma!

But usko ghar ko nam chahi Babloo rey! If you go to them Desi neigbhorhood anywhere in India, there will probably be 5-6 guys named 'Babloo' hola! BTW, I have never been to India... well, I did cross them border .... when I was 12 ... made it all the way to nau-toona for pack of them Wills churot kyaaruh!

Sorry... wanted to write a movie review... Desi haroo ko guff ma bhoolay-choo! Anyways, this movie is about them friends who can't get admission to them colleges because they really have bad grades rey!

Are you kidding? There must be some college in India for all them 'just pass' students ni! When I was a kid, 'no pass' students from Kathmandu used to go to Bihar for them 'fake degrees' kyaaruh! You had to go there and register at them 'Laloo' colleges and get your ID and then you collect your diploma and head home ni!

Mero tole ko euta Dai lay tuh tyo 'Nakkali degree' lay Nepal Police ma jagir pani khayo. Well, then he ran away during them 'Maobadi' days and after 5 years of AWOL, he went to the court and got his job back! Well, he is still Assistant Sub Inspector and will probably retire as ASI nai.. haha but he is having fun innit!

And he must have either given his superiors them cut sut or really knows how to kiss arse because he's always hanging out in Kathmandu while them 'no source-force' wallahs get to do some trekking in Dolpa and Rolpa kyaaruh!

Okay, abuh atti bhayo... let's get back to the story. Them Desi friends fail to get admission and with the help of Google Chand (no relation to our Lokendra B. Chand!), they create their own fake college but then they get into trouble when real students (the D- crowd) show up... hehe!

Arshad Warsi (Google Chand) is really good when he's them 'Circuit' in them Munna Bhai series but when he tries too hard to be the funny guy then over-acting garcha moro! He was great in Ishqiya but FALTU is just another D- comedy flick... so Arshad Warsi... you are a funny man, stop doing them jpt movies!

And how come Ritesh Deshmukh gets them offer for Bollywood movies? Well, his papa is them Maharastra ko former CM and current Desi government ko Minister for something kyaaruh! Talking about them Desi politicians.. our netas look like paketmaars .. haha!

When them Desis file their 'asset' report.... it's like... in hundreds of crores and our netas.. well, most of them don't even disclose their sampatis.. and even if they do ... they have only 10 tolas of gold, 4 annas of land and three cows and two buffaloes kyaaruh!

So Ritesh is not in for the money.. maybe he just wants to prance around and get lucky hola ni! Abuh hamro Kollywood ma pani.. we hope someday... we have Prakash Dahal, Rubel Chowdhury and Paras Dai in them movies kya!

Prakash Dahal, the current crown prince... can play the role of a 'hero' who leaves his wife for another woman and his dream job is ... computer operator for his Daddy! Rubel, the foreign crown prince, doesn't want to leave his 'heroni' because if he did then he won't be having fun in a foreign country kya and his mom-in-law would probaby fry his arse!

What about Paras Dai, well... he just appears now and then fires in the air and shouts like Al Pacino or something.... 'Sey Hyallo two my Lee-tall Fryand!' and then he fires at Rubel in the bum while Prakash Dahal and our jwai-saheb (Paras Dai ko brother in law) drink whisky and clap slap!

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