Thursday, April 21, 2011

Guinness World Records...

While our netas are busy fighting with each other, them ordinary folks are doing something productive (like licking stamps and eating grapes!) to make us proud! And yestai taal ho bhaney... someday... them Guiness World Records will have to bring out a special edition 'Nepali eestyle' hehe!

We have the world's shortest man but of course, we have to thank God for that.. and the oldest man on Everest... and no God didn't play any role in that one.. he did it by himself but we have to thank them Sherpas for helping him.

The former Foreign Minister from them Panchey days is also in Everest now. And he is 82 and he plans to break the 'Thakali' grandpa ko record rey! When we were kids, Shailendra Upadhyaya used to be in the news kyaaruh!

And Dolly Gurung used be the 'model' of the day.... well, she was busy chapa-ing Wai Wai and it was so sexy kya... haha... now Rekha Thapa is prancing around in half-kattu and it's very waak-waaking! Tyeti bela ko guff chahi.. Shailey uncle was dating Dolly rey!

Haha... okay, I don't want to talk about them old days ... feri I have to make fun of Bhusan Dahal, our Sunday Pop ... the shortest VJ ever .. who had to stand up on a boksaa so that he looked tall on screen.. hehe! Bhusaney uncle is now the head honcho of KTV .. so let's not bitch about him and someday I might need to go there and pitch him my 'Saturday Night Live' Nepali-eestyle...hehe!

And we also have our Nepali youth breaking all them 'crazy' records left and right. I think I should also be in the race hola... for the longest tyam holed up in them bathroom sathroom.. haha!

The 'Timilsina' clan have been shaking hands for the last 30 hours rey and they are going to stop their shaking today rey! World record chahi.. 33 and these four hand-stars plan to keep on shaking for at least 48 hrs rey! Lau hai... good luck!

I think we should all get together on May 28th and lock all our CA members inside BICC Hall till they finish writing and approving them new constitution kya! And no food but only paani and biskoot for our netas .. because if we provide all them so-called perks then these jackasses might stay inside for another year or two..hehe!

And no cell phones as well or them network will be down all over Kathmandu when all them CA bhaat-maaras start calling Delhi for instructions kya!

Then there is, Deepak Sharma Bajagain (DSB)... this man will probably have like 101 records to his name by the tyam our netas get done with the constitution hola... tyo bhanya maybe 2020 tiruh!

DSB ko record haroo: He has like.. read aloud for 113 hours rey. I think we should also ask our so-called netas to participate. Prachandoo can go on and on forever... so next tyam if 'state capture' fails ... then he can try to break DSB's record hola ni!

DSB has eaten like 34 cloves of garlic in a minute rey! And he should have kissed Sujata auntie after that... maybe then she will run away and go back to Germany! She has not only destroyed our national airlines but also made billions for her son-in-law, the Bangladeshi jackal!

And DSB ko list goes on and on.... he holds the record for bouncing them tennis ball with them bat sat for like 4+ hrs and then he went ahead and licked like 70 stamps in a minute. I think DSB should get a job @ the Post Office!

We can save some glue slue and maybe fire them lazy karmachaaris while DSB licks our stamps all day long! Our President should award him some medal and declare him our national hero or something! And if that doesn't work, he can use his tongue-skills to satisfy his gawl-friend hola ni! Sorry.... but I meant that in a good way... hehe!

And recently, DSB broke another world record by eating them 180+ grapes in less than 3 minutes rey... next tyam, hand this guy a bora of fruit salad!

I hope our netas will also break them world record ... longest tyam without a constitution .. but I think we should all go to New Baneshwor on May 28th .... and MJ ko 'Thriller' ma dance garoom naw.... if we can get like 100,000+ then we can also break the world record hola ni!

We can ask the world's shortest man and the oldest man to Climb Everest... to join in the fun and maybe Deepak Sharma Bajagain can lick all the ice-cream he can get and break another record pani... hehe... Kay cha bichar?

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