Terms & Conditions....

Republica is my favorite Angrezi newspaper and Bryan Adams was cool when I was 13 ... nowadays I listen to ... South Indian.. Tamil Filmi soundtracks.. so I am waiting for Rajnikanth and his dancing troupe to do some 'chamatkar' in Kathmandu soon! Heheh!

Bryan Adams will be rocking Kathmandu ko 'bold & beautiful' tomorrow night... and here are them terms & conditions (as published in Republica!)

1. This ticket will only admit one.

Doh! We know.. kya.. this is not some 'Model Sodel show' in some bar @ Thamel where people either crash through the window or throw them tickets back at their buddies! So.. if a Siamese twin shows up at the gate.. then what shall we do? Cut them in half and ask the other fellow to get another ticket ki kya ho?

2. Entry on first come first serve basis.

So if I come last.. then what do I get? There must be a prize for that kind of stuff pani... hoinuh ruh? Talking about First In .. I remember my Accounting class slass.. First in First Out (FiFo) or Last in Last Out (LiLo).. I have no idea what I am talking about....

3. No professional cameras are allowed.

So my friend, even though she is not a professional photographer can't take her SLR and will have to use them 'dingy' digital shit ( I use one!) ... but I hear .. she already forgot how to use them rey!

4. Please note that any kinds of bags, sharp objects, weapons, explosives, flammable items and alcohol are strictly forbidden inside the venue.

Dammit! My friend was planning to take his tent sent, khukhuri, some RDX , big arse lighter sighter and a jerkin of local 'Kodo' ... now he will have to go in ... just wearing his Red T-shirt and half-pyant because .. no water in his house rey and dhobi has eloped with the local butcher's 'hwat' daughter!

5. The refund of the tickets is (are) only subjected to cancellation of the event.

Yes.. them Delhi show was canceled and our Desis are probably planning some kind of them 'Egyptian' rally to get their money back rey! But of course ni... if the show is canceled then you get your money back but what if there is them lightning sightning and hits Bryan in the arse .. then what?

6. Re-entry not allowed.

So once you are in .. you are in... if your house is on fire you are screwed! You either run out and save your sampati .. but it's no use hola because our so-called fire engines won't have water swater... so might well stay in and listen to Bryan croak! After all.. buda is already 50+ ni... unless he eats like a bora of 'Halls'... hehe!

7. Gate(s) open at 2:00pm.

Okay... thanks... eat some daal bhaat masu (sanibaarey khana!) and then head straight to Rangasala... and just lay around in them grass srass (if you have them $$$ tickets!) or bring some cushion sushion if you are up there.. in them cementi-seats!

8. Entry closes at 5:30pm.

Okay... if you don't get in by 5:30pm then you are out.. .buddy or buddy-ni! No, complaining about them traffic sraffic won't help! But do you get your money back? It's not mentioned kyaaruh! So .. if you are one of them 'Nepali Tyam' crowd then better get there on tyam ni!

9. Please retain the ticket throughout the event.

Why? Is Bryan Adams going to call out them 'lucky number' and invite someone on stage to sing with him. If that's so .. then great! And if them Nepal Police are doing a surprise check and you don't have the tickets... you might get one 'free Bamboo Stick' haaning on your dhaad hola ni!

10. Ticket price inclusive of taxes.

Yes.... finally someone is paying them taxes hola ni! Good job guys! I hope our government will be able to balance them budget sudget from them taxes!

11. Parking of your vehicle during the event will be at your own risk.

This is 'New' Nepal where nobody is willing to take any responsibility ni! A friend of mine went to this wedding @ Yak & Yeti and lost his bike! Them Y&Y staff said 'Sorry, we no responsiblo.. you go away and cry outside...' so... them parking spots chahi .. Khula Manch, VS Niketan High School and some football ground somewhere rey... so all our 'rich' gaadi-wallah folks .... if somebody steals your SUV then you will probably see it being driven around by some Mao-baadi neta.. hahaha!

12. In case of any accident leading to death, organizers will not be held liable or responsible in any way whatsoever.

What? So .. if them stage explodes and Bryan Adams is like hurled off the stage by them explosion and lands on a 'fat Marwaari' businessman and then the businessman's stomach explodes.. who is responsible? Aagan Restaurant?

13. Rights of admission reserved.

What? Some jagga-dalaal pays Rs 6,000.00 (and he has never heard of Bryan Dai!) and wears his 'Govinda' eestyle looga.. so are you guys going to turn him away? A Nepali man once went to New York back in them days when 'Studio 54' was rocking. He was wearing a 'Daura Surwal' and then he just stood in line.. (didn't know what it was for!) .. then them doormen just grabbed him in and he had fun doing 'coke' and making out with Mick Jagger's then boodi rey!

Heheh.. what's my point? Nothing! If some guy wants to dress up as 'Spider Man' and he has his so-called 'specially designed holo-grammi-fied' tickets then why stop him ni!

14. Children below 3 years are not allowed.

First of all, even 20 year olds weren't even born when Bryan Dai was a Rock-Star! So.. why would anyone want to bring them 'KG crowd' ... I say.. ban all them teenagers as well... let them spend their money @ them malls ni!