TaxiCab Confession(s)...

I normally take them #14 Micro Bus ... to (R)NAC .. then #5 Tyampoo to work... but sometimes.. when late.. then I have no option but to take them taxi-cabs! And you know them taxi-wallahs... meter tampering and what not!

But sometimes.. we have them honest taxi drivers... like ... 1% out of them 7,000+ cabs cruising around Kathmandu! And I am like... 'Whaaat... we need to parade this guy around... strangle him with like Ek ton ko fool-maala and some naw-gawdh (cash) prize or something!' or make him the .. Prime Minister of Nepal!

Anyways... taxi drivers have their own guff suff! Last week... I took them cab sab from Thamel ... around 5 tiruh hola.. and the guy is ... 'Dai... meter mero bigrey cha.. milaa-yeruh dinoos hai'

Now... 'Milaa-yeruh' (dinoos) is like the 'It' word in this 'New Nepal' hola!

You ask some guy to fix your door.... and then 'How much?' ... and the answer is 'Milaa-yeruh dinoos naw'... how come the local butcher is never like that! Kukhura ko masoo Rs 220.. Khasi ko Masoo ... Rs 500... Tero Bau ko Tauko... priceless ... hola ni!

Well.. let's get back to the 'taxi drivers guff suff' ... haha!

Anyways.. I said 'bhaw-yee haalcha ni!'

And then he began his guff... 'Dai khattam cha.... duita boodi (wives) lay tension dee-yee sakyo!'

And the guy is like 22 years old and he already has two wives.... either he must be one of them 'ladies man' or he know his tricks hola ni! heheh!

And both them wives live together like sisters rey... but the biwi #2 wants to go to Dubai to work swork rey! Biwi #1 sanguh chahi 17 years ma 'lob sob' garey-ruh bhaw-ga-ye-cha bhai lay!

Then just last year... he met Biwi #2... finance company maa kaam ... paisa saisa bujhau-naw jaada.. aankha aankha lay (eye to eye!) lob-sob ... ani feri bhagaa-yeruh law-gey-cha!

And the guy was fugly..... but he was street-smart and funny.... so I guess... you can have the face of 'Johnny Lever' but if you also know some jokes-sokes (like him) then ... you can also bhaag-ing with a lady ... hola ni!

'Lau tuh bhai.. good luck... and hope your women are happy sappy as well!'

And then today... I had them meeting seating @2pm... (I love meetings!)... so got into a cab and then them guff suff soo-roo!

'Balla po tha-ha paa-ye bhai... sabai neta haroo baa-hoon po rahecha ani yo tuh sabai baa-hoon ko po khel rahecha'

Mr. Purna B. Sunuwar.... after working in Calcutta for ... like... 30 years, decided to come to Kathmandu and drive a taxi rey!

'Hoinuh dai.. you can't blame them 'Priestly Class' kya... abuh ali paw-dey lekhey ko lay gardaa dherai jaso neta haroo uni haroo ko gotra baatuh ho kya'

'Hare-noos nuh sabai Pradhan Mantri tuh baa-hoon nai hoo-do rahecha ni'

'Hoinuh dai.. we had Marich Man Singh once.... '

'Punjaabi pani!

'Hahaha.. Dai, dherai India ma bas-noo bhaye-cha... Not Punjabi kya .. Newar Sewar'

'Khoi... hamro pani kunai Din paalo aula ni'

'Dai.. hamro paalo auney jel samma tuh desh nai hood-ai naw.. hahaha'

Anyways... we then talked about them 'political assassinations' .. no I am not planning to ... heheh but Purna Dai is them 'foreign affairs' analyst jasto....'Sudan ma tuh tyo mantri lai aaf-nai guard lay pawd-kai dey cha ni'

'Ho... mailey pani newspaper maa paw-dey thiye'

'Indira Gandhi lai maar-daa muh Calcutta ma thiye... usko Chora lai pani maala ma bomb haaley-ruh maryo ani arko chora lai tuh Jasoo-si haroo lay plane ma bomb raakhey ruh udai-diyo'

Abuh.. hamro Dai pani haami aaam Nepali haroo jastai 'conspiracy theorists' pani hoo-do rahecha! Yes.. Indira Gandhi got wacked by her guards, Rajiv Gandhi got blown away by them 'LTTE' ladies but I didn't know Sanjay Gandhi was flown away by them RAW SAW agents haroo.. hahah!

And Purna Dai won the 'best meter in town' award for today .... and he got some 'naw-gadh' puraskaar as well.. heheh!

But the 'Best Taxi Driver' award goes to my local cabbie... Mr. Bishnu, jasko Dai is Police ko SP rey.. Kaka is 'Euta Neta' ko khaas manchey rey and his wife is related to Late King Birendra ko nanny ko bhai ko saali rey!

I call Bishnu... like.. in them morning sorning when I am late for work... and he's always somewhere else!

'Hullo.. Bishnu... taxi khaali ho?..'

'Hoinuh Dai.. maw tuh Dakshin-Kaali ma' or 'Dai.. muh tuh Biha ko Laagi Birgunj Poogay' or 'Dai.. muh euta Tibetan Bajai lai Hospital puraa-ou-dai'

And then he calls me... like... four hours later.. 'Dai .. muh tuh khaali!' ... hahah!

'Ani.. muh kay garoom.. abuh garoom timi lai gaaaali!'

And I just want to apologize to them ... 'Mundrey taxi drivers and their 'Don' eestyle' .. sorry.. if you are one of them.. (out of 7 so far... this year!) for getting punched in the nose by some fugly guy (me!) ... because you wanted to charge Rs 500.00 (normal fare even with meter seter-tampering would be like Rs 200!)... malai maaf gardinoos hai.. yestai ho Naya Nepal maa!