But now Rani is getting old like most of us... and she has also started to believe in them 'gurujis' kyaaruh! Her Guruji has asked her ... to remove them 'h' from her last name rey! Abuh what's next? Get married to some NRN and settle down in Pasadena ki kya ho!
Rani ko last few movies have sucked big-tyam and I was really excited about 'No One Killed Jessica' ... was expecting two hours of 'swearing, yelling and beating' by Rani darling!
Vidya Balan is also in this movie... uha ko role as a 'simple big sister' ... jasko bahini gets shot in them Delhi ko 'private party' and she has to battle it out against them 'neta' ko chora sora haroo!
The movie is based on 'actual events'.. Jessica Lall was shot by some neta ko beta when she refused to give him a drink after them bar sar was closed rey! And tyes pachi ko kahani ma yo feelim banako-cha!
Rani is the 'It' girl (woman)... the new 'Desi' Wonder-Woman! She drinks, smokes, sleeps , swears and does everything that makes them Desi boys shit their pants kyaaruh! Hahah... if the boys can do it .. then why can't smart, independent women do what they want!
I was expecting some major 'cursing' and 'bitching' from Rani! Yes, few 'F-bombs' and Delhi's favorite gaali 'Behe@#$!@' is full on but as usual ali masala pugay-naw!
Our TV ka so-called journalists haroo should watch this movie... and I hope they get inspired by Rani Darling!
Be it them newspapers or TV or FM Safe-M ... we are still lacking them 'investigative journalism' BS in this country! Our media has become more like .. I don't know.. yes, I get it.. all stories need some investigation but we hope someday.. we will have our own 'Watergate' and 'Bofors' here in Nepal!
The last tyam, some journalist decided to do some 'real' investigation was back when Col. Bharat Gurung, IGP DB Lama and other great gangstas like 'Jagat Gauchan' and his men were busy running their 'crime family' sponsored by our late Ex-Prince, Dhirendra Shah!
Padam Thakurathi did his story on them 'thula mancheys' ... and what happened next? He got shot in the head ... and then Nepal Police were quite an efficient lot hola... they arrested the hit-man, Bikash Gurung and everything just fell into pieces!
Them Interpol pressured our Pancheys and the Royal Family to take some action saction! (not because of Padam only but them 'gangstas' were involed in all kinds of drug srug smuggling and moorti chor-ing nataks .. hamro Gyanu Uncle ko plan ma!)
Col. Bharat Gurung and IGP DB Lama were sent to Nakkhu Jail! Jagatey .. went to Japan and Bikash Gurung was sent to jails here and there! And Padam .. is still alive but has like a big ass boil on his forehead.. thanks to them goli!
Then .. Girija came to save us from them 'evil' pancheys and what did he do? He set them goons free... and he also gave back them property sroperty confiscated by then 'Panchey' government .. to Bharat Uncle and DB Uncle!
Today, them former Immigration ko office in Thamel is where 'Himalayan Java' is.. them property is worth more than 100 corores rey! What did Girija and his Congressi chors get.. they got like 10 corores from Bharat Uncle and he got his land sand back! Great deal...probably the 'deal' of the century nai hola ni!
Now, that's how we do them math here in Nepal. Property government ko naam ma bhaye pachi kasai lay pani khaana paye-naw.. abuh ulto feerta gareruh commission paye pachi .. jhan mazza nai mazza!
Uncle Bharat just withdrew and started to live a normal life rey.. but Uncle DB Lama then went on to become them MP from Rasuwa (Congressi Ticket) ma... tyo ticket ko price was like Rs 2.5 corores tyeti bela ko! And today, DB lama is still them President of them Ex-Police Sangathan or something like that!
What happened to Jagat Gauchan? .. hahah.. Jagat dai went to Japan and became some right-hand man for them Yakuza rey! Then when Gyanu Uncle came back for the second tyam to be them 'King is Singh' .. our Jagat dai was appointed them minister sinister.. hahah!
Bikash Gurung ... bichara dai.. he was just a patsy.. he is in and out of jail .. even today rey... after his 'hit-man' days got cut short ... he became involved in them 'sano tino' robberies around town and that was it!
Okay, now let's get back to Jessica! Jessica is a vary vary slow movie... and you might get bored, waiting for some action saction ... I was waiting for Rani to strangle some guy or bitch-slap her boss or something!
It never happened.. but at the end of the day, this movie is jay bhaye pani ... inspiring and hope our TV journalists do have the heart to take up issues where them 'thulo mancheys' are killing innocent people and getting away with it!
Everyday, our people are abducted, murdered , raped and what not.. our media just reports them stuff and that's it! Even when them reporters, be it print, TV or Radio.. are murdered by our political goons.. our media don't want to rock the boat by fighting it till the end!
So, media-wallahs ... please wake up and do something ... hit them where it matters (haha. HitsFm ko po yaad ayo!)... our politicians have stopped listening to us (well, they never have!).. and you guys are our only hope!
Stop printing them 'political nataks' .. instead just publish them 'facts & figures' on who made how much and where... please make us aware of how our own leaders are on them payroll of them foriegn embassies... etiyaadi!
Hoonuh tuh ... yesta koora haroo publish naw-bahyeko hoinuh... khoi hamro neta haroo lai kehi affect saw-fect naw-par-ney rahecha... kyaaruh.. but don't lose hope.... you got to fight till the end... report , print them 'under-the-table' nataks till them politicians and sarkaari hakims can't take it any longer and all of them commit some group Hara-Kiri or something.. hehe!
Lau.. filmy review lekh-choo bhanya tuh kay kay po guff thokay-choo mailey tuh! No One Killed Jessica is B+ ... don't miss it... but next tyam we want Rani to do some bad-ass movie where she kicks neta haroo ko arse and makes Hrithik or ShahRukh look like some gigolo or something!
And btw.. 'Dilli Dilli' is like ... a really 'jhakaas' song.. it makes you just get up, fly to Delhi and kick some Delhi ko 'thulo manchey' ko arse... but oops.. I forgot.. we are not Desis.. hahaha!
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