Took them taxi to the airport, our driver saheb refused to turn on his meter! Abuh we are already half-way there and our negotiation begins kyaaruh!
The main gaadi ko pilot starts from NRs 350... and my bidding price is 200! Hehehe... I know that the min. price chahi Rs 250 nai ho meter ma pani! Finally as we reach them airport ko so-called under-construction ko 'Welcome Gate' .. we finally agree on NRs 250!
And then we come across them so-called security checking where two Nepal Army men do nothing and our men in blue ask silly questions?
I wave some paper and the security folks just wave and let me through. Waaa. kya checking, no wonder them Indian Airlines ko Plane got hijacked ni!
And then I get to them 'dhoka' domestic airport ko and wave my 'things to do list' and the policeman just lets me through! Hehehe... next tyam just print your laundry list and wave at the security guy!
Then it's tyam for some body check seck... I hand over my salai ko boxa to the police-lady.... and she is surprised!
"Kasto gyaani maanchey ho?" ....
Baggage saggage check in , ani another body search counter! The Cop is missing.... and I have to look for him because he has to stamp my boarding pass rey! After few minutes, he shows up and does some body check! No Explosives....
Then I find out .. mero flight is delayed rey! Bhairahawa ko airport tuh closed rey!
I go to the 'Yeti Airlines' ko counter and this lady jasko boyfriend didn't kiss her 'good morning' hola ni ... is staring at something!
"Flight abuh kati bajey ho?"
"Khoi?"
Nice job! You get paid to sit and frown and stare at something and you have no idea... counter chahi 'Information Counter' ... kya mazza ko kaam ho!
I didn't realize there was this 'Airport Restaurant' upstairs.. but you have to like get out from the body search desk and head upstairs kyaaruh!
The Airport Restaurant ko pricing is great... everything is like 111.43, 57.29 ... I guess after adding 10% SC and 13% VAT .... the figure is fully rounded hola ni!
This restaurant is only busy during the 'Koo-he-ro' season... them winter, when our Terai Serai ma koo-hee-roo laagcha ani flight haroo delay hooncha!
Then spent three hours @ the decimal point, drinking a jerkin of coffee, masala om-late , wood-bread (kaath jasto saaro!)... and listening to the most annoying voice on Earth! Hamro Airport ko announcer ko!
Every five minutes, she would start her 'public announcement' kyaaruh! Couldn't understand what she said, naw tuh Angrezi ma naw tuh Nepali ma nai!
So, I asked the restaurant wait-staff to invite her for some coffee! I was just kidding but the guy just did what he was asked to and our 'announcer' showed up!
Abuh paryo ni fasaad! It's easy to bitch about people behind their backs ni.... abuh agaadi nai ... 'Lady, you have the most irritating voice on Earth' bhannuh tuh milay-naw-ni!
"Tapai ko voice tuh soo-noo soo-noo laagdo rahecha"
"Hoinuh, malai thaa-cha , manchey haroo lai tau ko dhookcha"
Wow... I like her, she is blunt, honest and knows what I mean!
"Tapai lai ni bore bhayo hola ... aunoos coffee soffee khaam"
"Hoinuh, mailey agi nai lee-yee sakey.. tapai linoos... "
"Ek chin rest garnoos... tapai ko ghaati dhooki sakyo hola?"
"Hoinuh, mero kaam nai yehi ho"
She left. I ordered a 'milk coffee' for her.. because that's what she likes rey, according to the manager! The coffee was delivered to her 'booth' sooth! I went to the chawt sawt to smoke.... hamro pilot saheb haroo sabai churot taandaai... ani airhostess-madame haroo sabai 'Rara Chow Chow' khaadai!
Finally, around 12:00 , nearly 3.2 hrs later, we were ready to fly to Bhairahawa! Final body search and get on the bus ... and then wait for another 10 minutes because a passenger was not in the building rey!
In Nepal, it doesn't matter, once you get the boarding pass , the airlines staff will keep on searching for you and won't fly unless they know that you are either dead, abducted or committed suicide in them airport ko restroom kyaaruh!
Finally, our 'hero' shows up in his Kollywood get-up! Everybody starts their die-log! Poor guy. He gives out a weak "see I am smiling -while I grind my teeth" look!
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