Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Who will be the next IGP?

Once again... the IGP Olympics natak has begun and our Home Minister and Dr. Saheb can't seem to decide whom to pick to head our competent police force! Our Homie, Bijaya Kumar Guccha-daar is asking for Rs 7 Kaord rey. 

Dr. Saheb wants to pick AIG Kuber Rana but our Homie wants to give the 'phooli' to whoever bags the tender ... hehe! Prasai ruh Dhakal pani daudi-raah-chan neta haroo ko ghar shar ma!

IGP Rabindra dai will retire on September 14 .. but our poor hakim saheb can't go on them customary bida sida because our latthu-raam netas are fighting over the right 'candidate' rey. Our great hakim sahebs get a month bida before they leave their office. Fokat ma ek mahina ko talab paakney kya!

If our Nepal Police followed them army ko 'seniority rule' then Kuber Rana would be our next IGP because the other senior AIGs will retire soon. And he is sabai bhanda senior when it comes to rest of them contenders. He is a good cop rey but he was accused of killing them rajniti karykartas but our court gave him a clean chit!

Our netas have made the police force their own personal slave trade kyaaruh. If a SSP wants to be a DIG then he has to pay Rs 50 lakhs to 1 Karod to our honorable Home Minister. Ani tyo paisa uthau-nu tuh paryo ni hoinuh ruh?

If a guy wants to be a constable then he better pay some agent who has links with the thulo-badas. 50,000 dekhi 1 lakh. Inspector ma bharti hoonay ho bhaney tuh 5-10 lakh ready garnoos. And if you want to go to Thamel, Durbarmarg, Boudha and make some money then our Inspector sahebs will have to pay like 30-40 lakh for 6 mahina ko posting rey.

The 'blue' ones have them 30-year service rule. If you have served for 30 years then you are done. You go home.. no extension at all! All this police natak started after our great Hawaldar late GP babu became our Prime Monster kyaaruh. 

During the Panchey days, we had DB Lama.. the great IGP who was involved in them smuggling rackets. Drugs, Gold, Moorti Soorti.. you name it... he had his hands full kyaaruh! But he went to jail and spent a few years with his pal Lt. Col. Bharat Gurung pani. 

And when the Congressis won the jackpot ... DB Lama and Gurung both got out of prison and even got their jagga sagga back. The Panchey government had confiscated them land sand but thanks to GP and his Kangaroos.. Gurung got his Thamel ko jagga back. Kata ho? Himalayan Java bhayeko building ni.

And DB Lama is the President of Bhoot-purba Prahari Sangathan. Go figure... he still is popular with the former police wallahs.. hehe!

Ani tyestai 10 barsa pachi ..we had  Achyut Kharel... the guy became famous after taming them 'Bagar' ko gundas in Pokhara. Bagar then was like the Bronx. If you wore them tyeti bela ko 'Rato' Nike sneakers.. and you happen to be in Bagar then you had to walk back home barefoot.. hehe!

Kharel started his 'barber & cobbler' nataks by cutting sabai keta haroo ko lamo kapal ani dingo boot haroo pani. He became our IGP then he got kicked out for no reason. Abuh neta haroo lay jay garey pani hoonay .. ahiley samma tyestai tuh cha ni!

They appointed Dhruba B. Pradhan as the IGP. Kharel was later reinstated kyaaruh and Pradhan lai chahi PM ko sallah-kaar bhaney ruh joker banayo! Both Pradhan and Kharel were batch-mates. Pradhan is hamro Nepal Olympic Committee ko President Ahiley.

We also had Motilal Bohara. His son was Dippy dai ko ADC when the Royal massacre took place! Bohara was recently convicted of ghoos-khaaing by our court kyaaruh. Kharel lay chahi clean chit payo!

And we should thank Sher B. Deuba as well.. for all this 30-year natak. He amended the Police Act to promote Bohara then. 30 batuh 32 barsa niyam laago garyo ani Bohara ko time sakey pachi feri 30 barsey service rule thaw-ta-yo. Bajiya.. Deuba still thinks he should be our next PM... laaj nabhaako chaturey!

After we became Republic (rip-off-the-public), we had Om Bikram Rana then Hem Gurung ani Ramesh Chand Thakrui and Rabindra Pratap Shah. 4 IGPs in four years... let's hope we will have a new Prime Monster when we get a new IGP. Balance out garnoo paryo ni.... 5 PMs , 5 IGPs... Army Chief chahi.. jay hos... afnai tyam ma retire hooncha!

Rana, Gurung and Thakuri were convicted of ghoos-khaaing. Tyo APC Scam ma... fasyo bichara haroo. Rubel, the foreign prince and Sujata Auntie ko jwai made millions but he is now eating fish curry in Bangladesh or London hola. Even our political parties shared the loot then.. but our netas always get away while the civil servants become the scapegoats!

 IGP Rabindra Pratap Shah is a lucky man. He was the most senior guy then but Thakuri won the tender because he offered 5-6 Karod. And Shah would have retired as AIG taruh nidhaar ma lekhya rahecha IGP hoo-nuh! Thakuri was sacked because of the APC scam.

Abuh ko hoonay ho hamro naya IGP? Our Home Minister lay Dr. Saheb lai bhaney cha 'Asti Chief Secretary ko laagi haam lay chod-em abuh IGP tuh hamrai manchey hoo-no parcha'.

Dr. Saheb is on his way to Tehran to attend the NAM summit. Our Homie is the acting PM! Sabai bhanda thulo chor nai hamro Home Minister. The Kavreli Don.. Ganesh Lama is having all the fun. Uslay contract paako Bhaktapur jaaney bato ma bhwang nai bhwang. Lama dai is even a member of Guccha-daar's Madeshi party. 

What's next? One day, Lama will fight for 'One Madhes' hola ni. Good for him. Maybe the Loot-wallahs should make a movie about Lama... a boy from Kavre, who started out working at a hotel in Thamel and then joined Deepak dai ko gang and then became jhan thulo don!

Nepal Police ko taal tyestai cha. Tyeti bela ko hawaldar pani mukh-thaad-thyo, boot lay haan-thyo, daroo-piu-thyo! Maybe we should recruit only Ram Dev Baba fans in our police force! 

At least, they wouldn't torture you and ask for free recharge card or hafta-asooli. They might force you to wake up at 4am and do some breathing exercise and you might have to buy them apple sapple and a bottle of local ghee pani. We could tolerate that.... ahiley ko chor-cops haroo bhanda tuh tyestai nai jaati!

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