Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What Manisha needs to do...

The Desi media is blabbering about Manisha's failed marriage to our Nepali byapari Samrat Dahal! Yes, we were all surprised when she got married to SD! We expected her to marry a Kuire hola... since she was learning Aussie Rules Football from some Ozzie diplomat in Delhi! 

She had her flings .... with the die-log raajkumar , Nana Patekar and then some Desi DJ kyaaruh! Ek jawana ma tuh Paras dai lay pani side-diyeko thiyo .. hehe!

Koirala didi separated from her husband a few months ago and she was staying at her home, drinking raksi from 10 in the morning nai. Yes, I have got my sources and am not making things up ... hehe! I think it's good that she decided to go back to Mumbai and find out if she still has any offers left from the movie wallahs!

Well, she can't compete with them gals in their 20s ... unless she calls up Demi Moore to ask for her trainer's number.. hehe! I think she would be really great at doing them 'Dimple Kapadia' roles now.  

Dimple Auntie is already in her late 50s abuh tuh. Late Rajesh Khanna should have been sent to jail for marrying a 16-year old then. But he was a superstar then .... and they didn't have them 'jay ko laagi pani' activists in India like today ni.

Dimple Auntie's first movie 'Bobby' was out in 1973. Our dads must have bought them movie tickets for the whole week hola... hehe! Manisha didi should do them 'motherly' roles abuh dekhi! Yes, if she still wants to stick around Bollywood then ... she will have to play 'Ma' for Shahrukh, Aamir and nearly everyone else hola.

The Desis really love Manisha. What about us? Well, we are Nepalese... we are only proud of Everest, the Gurkhas, the Sherpas and Lord Buddha! Udit Narayan became a famous playback singer in Bollywood but he still doesn't get any respect in our land! Yestai ho... kya.... but we are proud that Demi Moore was here to have a cup of chiya with Anuradha didi and hang out for a photo-op at Maiti Nepal. 

Leonardo Di Caprio was here kyaaruh.. a few years ago. He's into saving tigers and the WWF folks invited him to Nepal. Yes, we love them Kuireys hagi.... but when it comes to our folks who have made their name in foreign lands... we accuse them of leaving us to deal with all the pollution, corruption and frustration etiyaadi. But we do love them song 'Yo mun tuh Nepali ho' hehe!

We should be proud that Manisha didi managed to stay in the rat race for a couple of years in Bollywood ni.  She can't dance and I think she really can't act but she was once the leading Bollywood actress in her days! I can't dance and I don't know how to act either ... so I don't think I should be harsh on her.

I met Manisha didi once... New York ma... She was hanging out at her relative's apartment. She finished a bottle of raksi in a few hours. The lady loves to drink. It's her life and she can drink all she wants ni but I expected her to do that when she was alone or with her close friends or Nana Patekar ... hehe! Thank God... we didn't have twitter or Facebook then... or you would have seen her pics.. drunk as a skunk.. ki kay bhancha ni.. hehe!

I don't know what's next for Manisha... but maybe she can show the (Desi) world that she still has her act together and instead of acting in shitty movies ..... baroo produce your own stuff and do a movie like 'Malena' hola. I think she should call Prakash Jha and ask for a role or two. The Bihari is one of my favorite Bollywood directors. 

Ram Gopal Varma is still in love with Manisha didi. Well, RGV is in love with everyone else including himself kyaaruh and ... even Sunny Leone.. hehe! Ramu dai should make a movie about a middle-aged lady who goes on a rampage against the system or something. 

Amitabh shook the Bollywood world with his 'angry young man' natak.... maybe Manisha can do it with her 'angry middle-aged woman' roles ni!

Let us all wish Manisha didi .. a happy single life again.... I think she should just go ahead and file for divorce nai. And hope we will see her in a Prakash Jha movie next year. 

And instead of drinking raksi for breakfast ... she should drink a glass or two of Ghiraula ko juice. I hear it really helps.... and her voluptuousness would be a big asset for them South India movies... but once you are in your 40s.. you need to take care of yourself pani. 

Yoga is good. Zumba is good or kehi bhaye-nuh bhaney .... take up weight-lifting nai! Kay tha-ha... it would be fun to see Manisha didi with a six-pack and do a movie like 'Ek Tha Tiger-ni' and kick Salman's arse.. hehe!

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