Saturday, June 16, 2012

Passing through the 'Iron Gate'

The SLC results are out and more than half of our students failed to get past the Iron Gate. The parents who were not allowed to pass the notes to their children are now cursing the police wallahs hola. I think it’s time to scrap the SLC and just go on with the 10+2 thing. Let us not create pressure on our ‘ten class’ wallahs anymore.

Dr. Saheb is the most famous ‘board first’ wallah and it would be fitting if he gave out some prizes for our SLC toppers this year. I think someone should do a TV show on the ‘board first’ wallahs, more like a ‘where are they now?’ segment. The first episode would be easy because we already have Dr. Saheb in town and he seems to be doing well.

Everyone is playing the blame game over the poor SLC results. Our government spends billions of Rupees every year to provide some kind of education to students across the country. Well, most of our public school teachers get their paychecks without showing up but that doesn’t mean they should be made the scapegoats. After all, most of them are party cadres and if they were allowed to teach only politics, mostly on how to shout slogans and hurl stones then all our students would have passed with distinction.

In the days of our grandfathers, a ‘matric’ pass was like having a ‘PhDs’. Tyeti bela tuh you could get a decent job or any job available and everyone in your neighborhood would think of you like them philosophy students think of Plato and Aristotle. And when people were sick, they would show up at your door as if you had been to medical school as well.

Nowadays, even with your ‘masters’ degree, it’s hard to find a decent job. And nobody really cares about your degree and people don’t show up at your door because they think you are too qualified for anything.

We should stop calling SLC … the ‘iron gate’ because even if you managed to pass through it, you still have a long way to go. And it’s not like you are leaving school for good. Most of the schools in the valley have their own 10+2 classes, so you are more likely to come back to the same school but you can’t be the school captain again.

Dr. Saheb managed to come first without much resources. Well, he didn’t have to deal with our government school teachers who are always bunking more classes than the students. But if it weren’t for Miss Elkins, a devout Christian missionary and the folks from Kerala, then Dr. Saheb would have been happy just being a government school teacher today. But he wouldn’t be bunking classes and he would have returned his paycheck if he did.

Dr. Saheb misses Miss Elkins even today because she was responsible for the quality education and discipline at Amar Jyoti High School. Maybe, Dr. Saheb can save us billions if we can get them missionaries to open hundreds of schools across the country?

The tuition will be cheap, the government won’t have to waste billions and our students will one day turn out to be like Dr. Saheb but hope they will smile more. If that happens then our ‘Holy Cow’ crowd will accuse the kuireys for trying to convert anything that moves. Baburam has not converted. Well, he is an atheist so please don’t expect him to cough off some dough if you organize a maha-yagya or something.

I think the only folks who are worried about all them conversion stuff are those who are scared that they will no longer have folks to step on and feel good about it. We should all have the right to choose the faith we believe in. If the ‘they are here to convert’ conspiracy theory was true then all the lads and ladies who went to St. Xavier’s and St. Mary’s would have become padres and nuns by now. Okay, we might have gotten a ‘Nepali’ Pope someday!

By the time Dr. Saheb is done with his home stay program in Baluwatar, he will probably have had many ‘firsts’ to his name. The first and probably the last PM to ride in a Mustang! The only politician who visits his home district once a month, rain or shine! The only CA member to return his travel allowance back to the state treasury!

And now, he has begun a ‘one night a month in a remote village’ natak. It’s really great but his comrades will choose the venue and make necessary arrangements rey. That doesn’t sound right. I hope they won’t be forcing the villagers to make a good curry like in the old days. Thank God, the Emperor has no plans to go back to the villages or else they would need to stock up on bideshi whiskeys and khasis ni.

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