Sunday, June 3, 2012

Lizzie's Diamond Jubilee

Our darling Lizzie is celebrating her 60th anniversary as the Queen of Middle Earth.... this week is like the official Jubilee weekend rey! The last tyam the British celebrated them diamond jubilee stuff was back in 1897 .... Queen Victoria ko pala ma! Prince Charles has been waiting a long tyam to be the King of England hola.... but he's done okay so far although he does like to talk to plants!

Charlie Brown is not going to be King .... Rupert Murdoch knows that even without the hacking sacking stuff. Prince William, son of Charles, grandson of Lizzie and the Greek will be the Maharaja when Lizzie is done! And Prince Harry will probably open a pub in Kenya hola!

Asti gayeko Friday ... June 1st..... we Nepalis were busy partying hola.... but I guess our media, netas and even Gyanu uncle forgot that 11 years ago, we lost the 'Royal Family' ..... Raati Narayanhiti Palace agaadi ek chin hay-ray ani ghar tiruh laagey! If they were still alive..... who would have won?

Late 80s.... ma it was 'Birey Chor... desh chod!' ..... then the King decided to give our 'democracy' wallahs a chance. Oh.. then we all loved the King again! The Congressis had a ball hagi..... looting everything on sight. Ganesh man died, Krishna Prasad lost the election and the great 'Hawaldar' screwed it up for everyone else. If the Congressis had governed without acting like gluttonous pigs then they would probably still be running the show hola.

The Eh-Maaleys got only 9 months to ride around in them jhanda-bhaako gaadis and live in them mantri quarters! But they act like they used to run the circus. Our netas were starving then.... janta bhanda pani garib thiye uni haroo.... but by 2000, they were all healthy, wealthy and dumb! Ek choti ramro sangaw desh chalai dey ko bhaye!

The Maoist started their so-called Pipple-Botey War! It was never for the people kya.... and what ever happened to their 40-point demand semand? Sabai sukuti polya jhai poley ruh khayo ho la ni hamra comrade haroo lay!

When the royal family was gone..... our comrades were like 'He was a good king' ... sabai marey pachi tuh ramro hooncha ni hagi! Back in 1996, our conspiracy wallahs thought Gyanu uncle was Prachanda! Ye.... galti po bhaye-cha hagi!

We used to hear them chiya pasal guffs..... about how Dhirendra used to visit Prachandu and have a drink or two rey! Baburam got demoted and was nearly buried alive when he was against hanging out with the Raja-badis! Well, our current crown prince Prakash dai... is minting money with Gyanu uncle's son-in-law .. so it's all good hola!

Anyways, let's get back to the story of the day... hehe! Well, Lizzie did invite them current and former monarchs to an informal lunch a few weeks ago! Our Gyanu uncle did not get the invite. Now, that was bad .... Lizzie.. shame on you! Jay bhaye pani bhoot-purba monarch ho ni hamro Gyanu uncle!

Tyehi Raja ko naam saam lay ghar, jagga , sampati jod-ney haroo lay ajuh hamro Raja Birendra lai birsey-cha.... yestai rahecha yeha ko chalan! Janga Bahadur ko chahi statue hoonay rey, Juddha Shumsher ko bhaujo ko statue tuh hamro zoo ma nai cha!

If they were still alive today.... then Princess Shruti would be attending them Pecha Kucha nights hola. Nirajan would probably be the first Royal to work hola.... bank sank ma! Ani Dippy dai would probably be married to Devyani.

Do visit the Narayanhiti Palace (Museum)..... and see for yourselves..... when you are inside them rooms.... you feel like you are in the 60s.... and they really didn't live like them Sheiks or the Sultan of Brunei kya!

Sometimes, we have to feel sorry for the House of Shah..... they are the original guerrillas ni! Gorkha ma basya bhaye tuh arkai lay marathon jitey ruh Raja ban-thyo hola ni! Sabai kabja garey pachi khaa-sai moaj garna paye nuh ! The five families had all the fun then the Kunwars somehow managed to get rid of the other bhai-bhardars and ruled for 104 years.. then we had the Pancheys.... and their nataks! The last 20+ years chahi...... we have seen the loudmouths ... abuh let's hope arko 20 barsa ma chahi.... we will have real leaders and not freeloaders kya!

And no.... the monarchy is not coming back. Halley's comet jasto hoinuh ni! Kamal dai lay baroo India kai BJP party join garey hooncha... hehe! And We live in a material world kya. Ye.. kaha batuh Madonna auntie ko yaad aye cha! Abuh tuh saw-bai jana raja bhaye ... neta haroo chahi Maharaja ni!

So all the 'Sunday Pop' people... please stand up and remember them Royals ... at least for a minute bhaye pani. And all them British nagarik haroo should drink a drum of beer hola... because there won't be another monarch celebrating 60 years of 'free lunch' in the UK anymore. Prince William might be the last monarch ... and Roman the 'Russian' (Chelsea Football club ko Sahuji) will buy Buckingham Palace when the UK economy is dead in 2042...hehe!

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