Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Mao Pow Wow

It's once again time for the 'Mao Pow Wow' and our great comrades can hang out together at the Khula Manch! The so-called top guns will be seating on them sofas and will get free bottled water while the rest of the followers will be ghaam-taaping and will suffer from laryngitis by the end of the day.

It's tyam to sing, dance and socialize hola ni! The Mao Inc. has two factions. The so-called establishment faction aka 'Moneybags' is led by our great chairman, Prachandu. He controls the funds and the rest of the angry rivals are left with chump change.

Prachandu dreams of turning Nepal into Xanadu hola! Singapore ruh Switzerland tuh hoonay wala chaina kyaaruh. Mohan Baidya aka 'Rambo' (without the muscles or them guns!) dreams of going all out and fighting the great enemy #1, India. I think Baidya must have been inspired by Sunny Deol's feelim... tyo janawana ko where Deol goes all the way to Pakistan and kicks all them arses and comes back with his lady love!

Baidya dai is not going to attack India to bring back Vidya Balan... he is just pissed that the Desis threw him in jail while he was still wearing an eye patch after his eye surgery in Silguri. And our CP Gajurel dai was arrested in South India while he was trying to fly to England (he wanted have tea with the Queen hola!). Somebody forgot to tell him that just because you super glue your photo on aroo ko passsport does not make it legit kya!

Anyways, we all know the story. Baidya and Gajurel... the two hard-core 'Revolutionary' wallahs were arrested by RAW agents and then our Maobadis and Khaa-o-badis signed them peace agreement. The hard-core faction really wants to fight it out and capture state powers rey. And the establishment faction wants to be the Khiladi ka Khiladi or Nepali ma bhanda.. Khaa-o-baadi ko pani Khaa-o-baadi!

But Prachandu uncle has to satisfy his foreign handlers ni. After all, if it weren't for them Desis and the RAW crew, he would still be eating chapatis and lassi in New Delhi rather than drinking blue label and munching on mutton sekuwa in his palace in Lazimpat!

Well, our hard-core wallahs plan to announce a new party tomorrow rey. I think Baidya is just trying to scare our Emperor. Yeso 10-20 crores diye hoonthyo ni radicals haroo lai. Sabai khoos ni hoinuh ruh?

And the establishment faction plans to bring in 100,000 folks from around the country for their so-called 'grand mass gathering' tomorrow. The sister organizations have all been ordered to bring in their union wallahs. So expect all them trade union wallahs to carry them flags and banners and sing songs tomorrow. One day, when all businesses shut down then what will our union wallahs do? Sing more songs hola ni and ask Prachandu for chiya kharcha?

The Maoists tell us that they are organizing the mass gathering to show their strength and protest against the budo parties. When they were in the jungle, they had to rob, steal, kill ... all in the name of revolution.... but they never paid the bills. Now, they are running the show and they still don't pay the bills kya. Tomorrow's pow wow ko kharcha kehi naw-bhaye pani..... 5 corore laagcha rey.

But not to worry.. our Mao comrades are used to free rides, free lunch and all them freebies. The transport wallahs will have to pitch in and the union wallahs have already collected some dough from our fake-VAT bill wallahs by now. 

Life is good for Prachandu and family. For the rest of us, it's just too hot and we would be happy if the government offers 'free ice-cream' for the summer. Or maybe a gola (tyo desi ice ko dalla!) or smoothies... khoi hamro government ko buddhi kahiley auney ho. Tax rebate dinuh naw-sakey pani ek plate vyar vyar momo bhaye pani deu naw!

And our emperor, Great Prachandu will give his 'oscar winning' speech @ Khula Mach. If there was a category for the great 'hawatari speech' during the Academy Awards then Prachandu Sarkar would win it every time... under the 'Foreign' category hola.

Prachandu will go on a rant. He will scold, curse and make fun of all them opposition parties. A week ago, he attended one of them 'ethnic' programs organized by the Tamang community. He was like 'Tini Haroo ko Bau ko ho ruh you desh....' ... I think it's about time we all ask our great magician... 'Timro Bau ko Sampati ho ruh yo desh?'.

1 comment:

  1. ya agreed! i rather have hopes on social democrats of Europe rather than our Maobadis.. to put capitalism in check!