Monday, June 18, 2012

Baburam goes to Brazil

The so-called opposition parties had threatened to stop our Dr. Saheb from going to Brazil. Well, they did manage to wave ek duita black flags here and there and our police wallahs had some good time by beating up the protesters. I think sometimes even our police wallahs get confused hola.

During the 'Panchey' days, they were busy beating up the Congressis and Eh-Maleys! During the so-called 'Hawaldaar' days, they were busy beating up Mao-baadis. And now... 'Mao&Madhesi' partnership ma... it's the Congressis and Eh-Maleys ka so-called students who are getting their arses kicked hagi!

Our police wallahs do not how to speak like civilized human beings. They act like they spent their school days learning only swear words and filthy gaalis! And they have been used by our so-called 'netas' to beat the other guys ni.

Anyways, Baburam and Hisila didi have left Nepal. Our opposition parties are mad but I guess they really can't do much because if they were in power then they would have taken their whole village to Rio De Janeiro ni. At least we have to thank Babu and Hisila didi for not taking Manushi to the land of the 'Samba' kya.

Ani Rio+20 summit bhanya chan tuh... abuh hamra sarkari hakim haroo lay Baburam and +20 bhan-thaney holan ni.

If our great Emperor was still our 'Prime Monster' then he would have taken his wife (okay!) and his son aka computer operator (not okay!). Our crown prince did manage to climb Everest. We don't know how he did it... maybe one of our Sherpa brothers carried him all the way to the top hola.

So maybe, Baburam should have taken Prakash Dahal with him... not as another 'facebook status' updater but as someone who has been to the top of the world and has seen tons of garbage left by the kuirey climbers!

Or maybe the crown prince was drunk when he finally planted that 'Mao' flag on Everest hola ni. So... he should just stick to his business deals with Gyanu uncle's son-in-law. They have already taken over half of them casinos in the valley. Mao+Monarchy = Mo' Anarchy... hola ni!

Anyways, let's get back to the story hai. Baburam and Hisila didi will be having some fun @ Rio.... I hope both of them did take some time off for some 'Brazilian Wax' before they left.

Yeee... not a good joke but you know them Brazilians. Beach Seach ma gaye pachi tuh .... if you are not waxing then Baburam will look like Borat hola ni.... with his 'one-piece' suspender thong... hehe!

Dr. Saheb will be meeting them netas from Europe, Amrika, Chinida etiyaadi.... I think he should just ignore them clowns and hang out with Lula and Dilma kya! Lula used to be the Prezzie once and he is planning to run again rey. Dilma is the current Prezzi-ni and she is hawt!

If Baburam puts on a little bit more weight (okay, a lot more.. like double souble nai) and then grows a beard then he will look exactly like Lula. What about Hisila didi? Well, she too will need to put on some weight and get some of them 'Brazilian' curves and dye her hair ali ali rato sato hola!

Lula never went to college, only passed 'chaar class'. He was a trade union guy.... a lefty ... and a hard-core Marxist. Tyeti bela ko military lay uslai pitnoo pityo kyaaruh. Dilma ko kahani pani ustai ... well, she came from a middle-class family, went to school etiyaadi ... but dubai jana hard-core communist nai thiye! They were both tortured in prison rey.

They were the real 'revolutionaries' tyeti bela and not like our so-called Maobadi netas who spent their tyam eating roti and tandoori chicken in Delhi ni! Pasang dai is a revolutionary... Puspha Kamal is a pimp!

But when our Brazilian Krantikaaris came to power .... they just kept their 'communist' credentials inside their drawers. So Baburam and Hisila didi must meet Lula and Dilma and learn from them.... and take a few notes about 'pragmatic capitalism' kya.

Yes, you can be a communist at heart but when it comes to running the show, please throw away your stupid 'Mao' notebooks. Use your head or ask someone baroo... do what's right for the country, foreign investment hooncha ki, nuclear reactor bana-ye ruh hooncha ki .. hehe!

Hami ahiley garib nai chau... pachi dhani bhaye pachi aroo nai kura garoom laa.. but now we need 'jobs', bato ghato, batti satti ani paani. Tyeti tuh ho ni... aankha futeka neta haroo ho!

Our netas are full of BS. Baidya is all set to announce a new party rey. Good for him! After all, our communists are only good at breaking up ni. Yes, if they can't be the 'Boss' then they take some of their chamchas and open a new party. I think some should tell Baidya that there is only one 'Boss' and he is Bruce Springsteen kya!

I think we already have like two dozen communist parties in Nepal. I used to be a big fan of 'Trotsky' in college... yes ... tyeti bela! How come there ain't a Nepal Communist Party (Trotsky) hagi?

Why are our communists in love with them jackasses like Mao, Stalin and Lenin? Marx is okay .. because he was broke and was ranting against his rich friends but the three stooges tuh atti nai bhayo ni! Baroo Castro kai nakkal garey pani.. we would still be broke today but we would have a pretty decent healthcare system hola... hehe! And we would be playing baseball and smoking cigars hola ni!

Jay bhaye pani... hope Baburam and Hisila will have fun in Brazil. And so will our foreign minister Narayan Kaji dai.... poor fella used to walk around the city wearing chyatt-eko shirt in the 90s... now he is our foreign minister! Better get some good shirts hai! And biha pani garnoo paryo sir.. stop hanging out with your so-called secretary kya. Baroo marry her nai!

He used to be one of them 'Masaleys' then they decided to merge with our Mao Inc. and he is expected to be the next chairman someday. What about Baburam? He will probably retire and open a school in Gorkha while Hisila didi will be the Empress of Newa Rajya hola... hehe!

Malai pani tha-ha bhaye nuh mailey aajuh kay lekhey bhaneruh.. hehe... rant sant over-dose! Lau abuh ghar ma gayeruh bhaat daal khaam!

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