Saturday, June 2, 2012


Our clowns wasted four years and billions of rupees and they still couldn’t give us a constitution. At the end, our CA members ate daal, bhaat and maasu and went home. They just wanted to enjoy the last free meal hola ni. These folks have no shame. I guess they forgot to take Moral Science classes when they were in school. And do we get a refund?

And for the first time in his life, our smartypants Dr Saheb failed to come on top. Well, this wasn’t an exam or anything or else he would have received a gold medal from the president. Dr Saheb is now our caretaker prime minister. I don’t know what he is going to take care of but it would be better if he at least cleared the debris from the roads.

The Emperor failed to pull any rabbits out of his magic hat this time and instead decided to spend some quality time with his family in Nagarkot. At least someone is having a good time.

We are going to have another election—again. We will have another CA and our clowns will spend billions again. And we can do nothing but sip milk-tea at the local chiya pasals and go on a rant. At least in the Middle Ages, you could curse someone and actually see it come true.

Our comrades managed to get a whole lot more votes than they had expected with their ‘give us a chance’ slogan in the previous CA election. What are they going do now? We have seen how they roll and they are not that different from the rest of the buffoons. Everybody wants to be a Shree Tin Maharaja, hire their own cousins, cadres and contractors, and make some money on the side.

The only exception seems to be our poor Dr Saheb. The man does not have to go to the hills whenever he gets panic attacks. He is happy to stay in his room, eat some roti and sabji, and read a book or two. He is the only bloke who returns his travellers cheques to the state treasury when he comes back from them foreign visits. He did try…riding a Mustang and saving us a few pennies. But it really doesn’t help when the rest of the club members go on a corruption binge!

Maybe he should form his own party. Get all the ‘Board First’ wallahs and start an ‘Always First Party’ (AFP). And for the rest of us, who never came first in anything…we can do our part by contributing some cash hola ni.

Dr Saheb would probably be more transparent when it came to them donations and stuff, unlike our Emperor.

I feel sorry for the ‘budo’ parties. NC and UML still can’t believe they got it so easy back in the 90s hola. Our indigenous crowd should also start their own party and learn a thing or two from the Madhesi parties. So far, our Madhesi leaders have yet to do anything for Madhes but they sure have done a lot for themselves. It’s good to be a coalition partner and then you get all the lucrative ministries, after which it’s time to clap, sing and collect chiya-kharcha from civil servants, contractors and confused citizens alike.

We have seen the communists, socialists, monarchists and many more but we have yet to see a ‘capitalist’ party in Nepal or an ‘anarchist’ party nai. I think it’s about time somebody catered to these crowds pani. After all, we all have to find our own niche market now since we are not getting along as a whole ni. And when is Baidya dai breaking up? Or was it just another circus act?

All the graffiti artists around town, drawing them ‘A’s in a circle, should get together and start a Nepal Anarchist Party (NAP) hola. They can take as many naps as they want but should be alert and ready to protest against anyone protesting or we will always have Monsanto.

The FNCCI wallahs should get together and start a ‘Capitalists Are Right Party’ (CARP). And they will probably have enough moolah to be a national party because most of them have saved a ton from them VAT bills natak. And if they have their own party, they won’t have to worry about donations (extortions) from the rest of the parties ni.

Our netas have long promised us that we would be another ‘Switzerland’ or ‘Singapore’. I don’t know much about the Swiss except Toblerone and they don’t give us no free visa. Even if we can’t speak Singlish like them Singaporeans, someone can at least start a Peoples’ Action Party (PAP) here. You can even have Lee Kwan Yew’s poster in the back and he is still alive ni.

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