Mumbo Jumbo

Dr. Saheb might have saved us a few paisas by riding a Mustang, flying Economy Class and not doling out funds to his cadres. But it looks like his “cost saving” acts have neither impressed nor inspired any of our honest politicians.

Yes, politicians make compromises to stay in power but Dr. Saheb is slowly losing his credibility as he tries to please everybody. Now, he’s set to break the record for the largest Cabinet in Nepali history.

We will now have to provide our new full and half ministers with gas-guzzling vehicles, security, fuel and “mantri” bhattas. I don’t think we can afford to waste our taxpayers’ money on making our netas happy. To save money, fuel and less blazing sirens, why not hand out free rickshaws to our Ministers?

At least then they’ll be able to enjoy the pollution and traffic jams like the rest of us. And while stuck in traffic, they can strike conversations with the gnats and flies and act like they are listening to our concerns.

“Hello Sarkar” has been running in full steam since the past few days and they are already getting overwhelmed by citizens calling the hotline number 1111 to complain about everything. I think the PM’s Office should’ve asked one of our call centers to help them run it, but of course, our politicians and sarkari hakims have never been open to suggestions from the public.

If the “hotline” staffers are already worn out and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, then maybe it’s better to outsource the customer service department to the call center-wallahs. Maybe they can handle the load with much more efficiency than our civil servants and it might save us some money, too.

Dr. Saheb is in Male, Maldives, attending the SAARC Summit. In all these years, we haven’t seen any cooperation among its members. Maybe we should change it to the SHARK Summit since all the member countries seem to be governed by sharks, be it loan or land or those who believe that the national coffer is their personal goldmine.

If the bus driver overcharges us, we can call 1111 but whom do we call if we need to complain about our politicians? Maybe the President should start his own hotline thing and it would be better if CIAA is under the President’s supervision. He will also be busy rather than just receiving foreign envoys and attending religious functions as chief guest.

Comrade Chairman is in New York, trying to win friends and a few dollars to make his Lumbini dream project a success. I think our netas should take a crash course on time management and also for setting their priorities right.

What’s the need of the hour? No, it’s not controlling corruption, writing the Constitution or even providing basic necessities to the common citizens.

Right now, our politicians are more worried about getting the dough to pay off our comrade combatants. Comrade Chairman is worried about finding billions for his pet project and the PM’s office is the most worried since they have to get vehicles and what not for our new full and half ministers.

And every week, if we do the head count then we find out that a dozen of our CA members are around the world, attending conferences and what not. Our netas spend our taxpayers’ money on useless foreign visits, useless guff-suff and spend their time wrangling over useless issues.

It’s always been like that. Our politicians like to spend more (state funds) on useless things. I hear that intelligent people use less of their brain and so far we have really seen the level of intelligence of our netas and we all know where we’re headed with their circus acts.

If you want to travel around the world and get housing, vehicle and medical allowances, then it’s time you also got into Nepali politics. But of course, make sure you make all the right moves.

The trick is not to be in the majority. A political party with not enough members to play a full football game can get more ministerial berths and benefits.

And when you are a member of political party, then you can murder, abduct, extort and fulfill all the requirements to be a criminal and get away with it. Dr. Saheb is a smart and honest man but it’s now time to show that he’s also a man of morals.

Thousands of lives were lost and brutalities were committed by both sides but it’s about time our netas and civil servants and security personnel from both sides apologize to the families of the victims and ask for forgiveness instead of trying to cover their own arses and promote a culture of impunity.

We can’t move forward until we reconcile our differences, but our “intelligent” netas haven’t even started yet.