Friday, November 4, 2011

The Mother of all Agreements...

They say ‘timing is everything’ and our comrade chairman would probably do well as a chess grandmaster. He seems to know when to make the right moves.

Our media wallahs tell us that this time the ‘seven-point’ deal is for real and we should expect the peace process to come to a closure soon. Should we award our netas ‘brownie points’ and be happy?

If this is the real deal then once everything is wrapped up, we can top the Amrikis by installing a 10 foot, one ton statue of our great wizard in the middle of Ratna park.

Reagan was an actor then a politician … in our great country, all politicians are actors! So it’s probably hard to believe whether our netas are really sincere this time or maybe they are just agreeing to play cool so that they can extend the CA’s term for another six months.

Well we are in a fix. We can’t stop our great politicians from running, or shall we say, extending the show. We are just mute spectators but if all ends well then we will do our share of clapping and maybe give them a standing ovation.

We have seen so many deals in the last five years that another new ‘deal’ might not really excite us anymore. But we should give our politicians the benefit of the doubt one last time and maybe forgive them for their poor performance so far.

Politics is different and so are politicians. Old enemies become friends. They forgive and forget and they move on. In real life, friends become enemies and they will keep on whining about how the other screwed up at every weddings, paasneys and bartabands where mutual friends may show up.

Most of ‘Nepali’ business partnerships begin between old friends and by the time it ends, they are sworn enemies for life and even after-life.

Politicians make deals like we common citizens make chiya. So don’t fret if they forget the ‘special’ chiya they drank yesterday. We can all learn from them. Don’t live in the past, don’t worry about the future, just try to make the most out of the present!

We can learn from our great ‘netas’ and the art of surviving is to make deals left and right and it really doesn’t matter if you don’t honor them. You can always make a new deal to honor the previous deals kya.

Our chairman got a lot of flak for being part of a hard to believe ‘3 billion dollar’ deal to help Disney-fy Lumbini. I think it would have been better if he had asked the so-called organization to hire a proof-reader before they start handing out awards and stuff.

And we are still a nation and not yet a federation of princely states so it is always better for any foreign organization, existent or not, to go through a proper government channels rather than just ask our so-called VVIPs to lobby for them.

Anyways, the chairman is expected to fly to New York tomorrow. He is meeting the UN football team’s captain for coffee and a bagel with cream cheese please! They will be talking about Lumbini.

Our comrades really seem to love Lumbini and many seem to have found God again even though they claim to be atheists. Hope one day they will also celebrate Halloween. Some of our Kathmanduites have already started to and it’s probably the right time to form a struggle committee and petition for an official holiday next year.

Nepal Tourism Year has not ended yet and our government is already gearing up for the next tourism campaign. Lumbini Visit Year 2012 is now right around the corner.

And our government has formed a 108-member organizing committee to make it a success. I hope all our political parties and their sister organizations have already reserved their share of seats in the committee. It sure has done wonders for our local development thanks to the all-party mechanisms in our local bodies.

I am happy that our singing nun, Ani has been chosen as one of the goodwill ambassadors but whoever came up with the idea of having Jackie Chan, Rekha and Shah Rukh Khan as goodwill ambassadors?

It’s actually a great idea. Why not also invite Keanu Reeves? After all, he played Buddha while Shah Rukh only played Ashoka! And maybe Jackie dai will show us a stunt or two and Rekha auntie is still stunning as ever.

Now, we need to figure out how to relocate the polluting cement factories, build an international airport, highways, and enough hotels to accommodate the tourists in less than 60 days. Well, only the Chinese can do it. I hear they can build skyscrapers in less than a week!

No comments:

Post a Comment