Mark Twain

If you didn't know... then please do know now that today is hamro baajey, Mark Twain ko birthday! So let us all have a cake and some coffee toffee and celebrate Mr. Clemens ko janma din!

When I was in the fifth grade, I read about them Amrikan Presidents. And although Reagan was already on his way to win his second term, the book only had until Jimmy Carter kya. And of course I was in love with Amy Carter then.. hehe! I became a JFK fan from then on even thought I wasn't Irish, Catholic or an Amrikan nai... hehe!

I know my birthday very well. And the other birthdays I never forget except friends, family and foes chahi... Mark Twain ko nai ho! And I also light a candle every November 22nd for JFK (the day he got killed in Dallas!) even though I am not related to the Kennedys and I still have a Jackie O picture/ frame srame ma ... last time I saw it ... it was in my sister's room!

I think the last tyam we ever had any charismatic leader .. tyehi Ranaji Jangey dai nai hola..... all the Shusmers after him all look chubby with the joonga daari hehe! And no, Prachandoo is not charismatic... he is a standup comedian... more like 'Nepali' Robin Williams (without making any faces or doing any coke hehe!).

I wish Baburam dai had pumped a little bit more iron and maybe shaved his 'mustache' and had a tattoo and not to forget a Mohawk... err.. sorry, Kaha batuh tyo Robert dai from 'Taxi Driver' ko po yaad ayecha! Ani balla po charismatic bhanney hola ni.. haha!

Anyways, Obama was a nobody before he gave that speech during Kerry's nomination in Boston. But it was all charisma that won him the Presidency and nothing else ni. Yes, we all love Obama but I have always sympathized with Nixon even though he was a crook hehe!

Okay, let's cut the Amrikan History 'x' thing and move on to Mr. Twain hai.

Clemens is probably the greatest Amrikan writer ever. Okay, Stephen King hola kasai kasai lai... but this guy was born before they had TV and that makes a lot of difference kya.

And don't brag about how you have read all them Russian writers and stuff... if you haven't read them Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn stuff then you have read nothing .. hehe!

I like Twain not only because he was a great writer, humorist and what not but someday I would want to be like him too. So, I better join a newspaper first then maybe be a riverboat pilot (Koshi river ma) then go work in a gold mine hola (khoi kata jaaney Australia po ho ki) hehe!

He tried nearly everything and he failed .... but when he began writing them humor columns then he hit it big and he never stopped writing them funny stuff kyaaruh. I wish I had the same skills but maybe arko janma ma!

I wish we had someone like Twain here in Nepal. Well, I always used to read Kunda dai's 'Donkey' ho ki ass thing. I always thought it was funny .. well, I still find it funny but I hope someday we will have someone who will charm us with his or her wit and satire (yes, we desperately need a lady because after Paarijat (she wasn't a humorist but..) we haven't had one who would kick all them grumpy male arses!).

I also like Twain a lot because he really couldn't balance his books.. hehe.. somebody should have taught him 'Lekha Palan and Karyalaya Sanchalan' (that's the title of them 'Accounting' books we had during our SLC days!).

I scored my highest grade in Lekha Palan nai... 94 kyaaruh and my credit score (the last time I checked it was zero hehe!) and I have 583.22 Rupees in Himalayan Bank. I am a die-hard Himalayan Bank fan because I opened my first bank account there! Well, I still have to recoup my loans I had given to a senior writer who fled to New York and to a local don who ran away to Norway hehe!

Anyways, Twain made a lot of money from his lekhing (writing) and guffing (lectures) but then he lost it all in all them crazy ventures! But he did finally succeed in repaying back his creditors even though he was not obligated to do so... Amrika ma basya faida tyehi ho euta.. if you file bankruptcy then you owe nobody nothing hehe!

But of course, your credit score will prevent you from renting an apartment or getting anything for credit ni.. hehe.. which is not good!

Anyway, Happy Birthday Mark.... and if you still don't think Twain was the greatest Amrikan writer ever then you are telling me that William Faulker was a grumpy arse... because Faulkner ko bichar ma Twain is the father of Amrikan Literature kya. And I think so too.. but I am just a Guffadi so my vote might not even count hola... but who gives a @#$! ni.. Twain Baajey Jindabad , Nepal ka sabai chor-neta Murdabaad.. Jai Hos!