Sunday, May 3, 2009

You are

I just don't get it... why the @#$! are our Maobaddies in such a hurry? Do they have to go somewhere ... like a hot date with Carla Bruni or Rakhi Sawant? I think our Mao-comrades have forgotten that 'all we want' is just a @#$!ing new constitution and that's it!

I am beginning to feel that our Maobaddies are into some kind of a cult and they are waiting for a mother spaceship to take them to their 'promised' land and before they board the flight, they want to destroy everything!

Yes, we don't want the Indian Priests making all the moolah @ our so-called Holy Pashupatinath Temple! We tried throwing them out and our Desi 'netas' were busy calling our so-called leaders and threatening them with 'Mai Tujhe Sarap Deta Hu!' and our 'No God'-wallahs had to bring back the 'Desi' pujaris!

Was it really about the 'Indian' priests or only about the dough? Then they asked the '8' Briggies to go home. But the Jur-saabs went to court and went back to their offices! And now, our 'Pee-pools' government would like to boot Cut-2-Wall out of office!

Yes, our Generals make billions and after they retire, they live like 'Dhir Shumshker' ko natiz but who doesn't? Our government officials have always been good @ stealing from the nation's coffer and it's not going to stop now because even our Maobadi scions are having fun, making billions!

Jungle ma hooda, wai wai khaney paisa thiya-nuh , aba ta wai wai factory kinney paisa cha!

Yes, Prachandu's good son, Prakash Dahal has already made millions and so has Krishna Mahara ko chora but hey... aroo neta ko chora haru lay moj garna paunay, yee-ni haru lay kina napaunay? That's what Democracy is all about ... oops, I forgot... our Maobaddies don't believe in Democracy!

General Rook-ie-Man-Dang-Doong (Sorry, I can never pronounce his first name!) Cut-2-Wall is probably the first Chief from "non-5-big- Bhai-Bhardar families" ... just because King Mahendra found a 16 year old , Gaulay Thito , hanging from a tree and singing 'nepali' geet and had his luck turned upside down by getting the opportunity to study and grow up in KTM doesn't mean he's a bad person!

All the (X)King's men are now Maobaddie Advisors... and nobody's complaining? Complan khanus, tandoo-rusta hunus!

Pyar Jung Thapa made billions.... Kasai lay kehi pani bhanena? Cut-2-Wall is retiring in few months but our Maobaddies just want him out right now because the second-man Lt. Gen Cool 'Brave' would retire before Cut-2-Wall and that would have screwed things up! So why are our Maobaddies so anxious to kick Cut-u-Wall out?

Well, Mr. Cool has promised Nanda Kishore Pun, 'Jar-Saab' ko phuli and then implement 30-year service in the Army... so all the Generals now would have to retire by this year and then who gets to become the Chief of the NA.... our Mao-brother Nanda Kishore Pun!

Yes, Pasang bro... lai Jur-nail banayara chandnay promise garyo, Cool dai lay ani kina 'Cloudy' Rambo, the Defence minister and our PM, choop lagera bas-thyo!

Ra Aja... our Maobaddies have finally decided to fire the Chief of the NA! And our comrades decide to bring out a 'victory' rally and the Kangaroos came out with their 'Virodh' rally and decided to bash each other! And our Kathmanduites all rushed home, fearing a 'curfew' or more daang doong!

Well, no curfew, no daang doong but why do these arseholes need to disrupt traffic? Valley Schools opened after four days and they had to close early again because we don't want kids in the middle of the 'Tyre Baalney ra dhoonga hanney karyakaram'...

The Maobadi ko sarkar dhalla jasto cha but they are happy that even if Cut-2 goes to the court and gets back his job for the next few months, they can tell their Mao-cadres... 'Hey , we tried .. it's not our fault... blame the President, opposition and nearly everybody else!'

Paani chaina, blame Melamchi. Batti Chaina, blame the 'SPA' ... terai bandha, blame ... the Tharus and now the President of Nepal is the 'new' Gyanu for our Maobaddies!

Yes, the army should be under civilian authority but will it ever be? We have sent Gyanu to Nagarjun and brought in 'Prachu' and before anyone thinks of sending him to Rolpa... he will burn everything.

Welcome to Nepo-mbo-dia... Pol Pot ta maryo ... aba Prachu-pat(h)! T.U. ko buda professori-haru lai ta baaki rakhena, Kalo mooshow lagai do bajiya haru lay... so if you have a good degree from Bidhesh, stay back... if you have a good 'Nepali' degree then run away to Canada or Australia or the UK... Yes, God Save the Queen!

I think I will be safe here. I don't have a job, I don't think I will get enough points to pack my bags and head to them commonwealth countries... so I will just stay put and wait for them to drag me to them villages.

I am not a member of the Maoist party but I really thought these guys would do something... well they are doing something but it's not what I thought they would do. I thought all them ghoos-khoris would be hanged, chor-daka-fata-ha hary lai goad-ney... tyas ko bau... the same ghoos-khors and chors are now part of the one big 'Mao' family!

They want to start another revolution because one man refuses to move out of his office! Euta Manchey ko laagi, hami sabai lai dhukha diney.. wah wah! I am also de-listing Manushi Bhattarai ko naam from my 'Top 10 Hot Nepzie Single Ladies' list!

I think I will go to Mumbai and try to hook up with Rakhi Sawant... Yes, darling ... I own Singha Durbar, my grandfather gave it to me for my 16th b'day! Neta hary Guff haknay, hami kina na haaknay, hoina?

At least I know most of her body parts are fake! There won't be any surprises... tara hamro Prachu Uncle lay ta haasi haasi hami lai faasi dinay bhayo!

Terai banda has @#$!ed up everything but our leaders aren't worried... they are all fighting with each other. Cut-2-Wall ko ta pension paki-halcha ... hamro ta tuako matra pakney bhayo!

Hamro 'Silent' Majority arko jooni samma silent nai basney bichar jasto cha! Mr. (X) Prime-Minister or hoonay-wala pheri 'Underground Dada' ... please think about 30 million Nepalese instead of worrying about pleasuring your 30,000 'so-called' freedom fighters!

The Koshi flood victims are still having a tough time. We are all suffering but kaslay sunney? Is There Anybody out there? Okay, I see a packet of paan paarag and chinese milk-chocolate. Yo khaya pani na-hoo-nay, tyo khaya pani na-hoo-nay... aja ta Badel khanu parla jasto cha!


  1. Guffadi: you are simply hilarious and an amazing blogger, keep up the good works my friend